Is it me or not?

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I go to a specialist college in England that is for people with Visual Impairements and other disabilities. Ive had a few relationships with girls in the college, which have ended for whatever reason.

My current problem is with another female who has aspergers; the crux of the matter she intiates a relationship, all moves are made by her, and then the next day or day after that she'll turn around and end it. I dont know if its cause of my doing, im pretty sure its because she is having second thoughts. But theres just something about her i cant ignore.

Another problem is on both of our sides....We are both really lacking in self control, this is obvious by the fact that we keep getting involved with each other.

worrying won't help. just go for it. how serious is your relationship? btw welcome

My own fault for not highlighting this in the first place, but the most recent relationship ended but 2 days ago(19th Jan). I dont mean to be rude about this but it seems that her suffering from Aspergers is alot predominent than mine. I can go about normal every day life pretty much as normal. Some things make me get a big question mark above my head but most of the time im fine.

Where as with her she needs a few things explaining to her, and gets upset when there is too much information flying around. Im not putting her down or anything, just explaining about her. To anyone that doesnt really know anything to do with Aspergers she looks just like a "normal" person, same as me...

Last edited by Bongo2k on 21 Jan 2007, 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds like she's more interested in having a "friend with benefits" than a relationship. Or a "f*ck buddy" if you will. This happens no matter what upstairs wiring you may have. It's a sticky mess though and I would just back away quickly and end it for real or you could both end up more confused and heartbroken than you are now. She doesn't seem to know what she wants, but she likes the physical attributes of being in a relationship, so she's playing you for the pleasure and the comfort of having a physical relationship with a friend, and not committing emotionally.

Get out while you can, darling. Bad bad bad.

Surely if she was only interested in getting physical she wouldnt end it so quickly, she'd give it a week or so and then end it. Another thing is that this is a residential college, so its not that easy to get any privacy anywhere.

Also, if she was only interested in getting physical surely she would have given up the first time round...?

Plus, these so called relationships havent got that far with regards to "f*ck buddies" simply because the furthest with both got is well...a bit of groping, for one of a better word.

Last edited by Bongo2k on 21 Jan 2007, 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think there's enough information to determine whether she wants just a "friend with benefits" or a real relationship. It could be that either she does not know what she wants, or she is not sure how to express how she feels, or both. Based on what you've described here so far, it's hard to say what her motive is. It looks like a kind of on-again/off-again kind of thing, is she aware of how you feel about her? Maybe she is trying to test you, see what kind of person you are?

Welcome to WP! Hope you find enjoyment and insight here. By the way, your situation has some similarities to the discussion on the stickied In love w/ aspie thread in the Adult forum section; you're of course welcome to take a look and glean some information from it that might be useful to you!

Hello. Whereabouts do you live in England? I'm from Lancashire and I'm actually on a course for people with visual impairments in Greater Manchester.

I think she knows how i feel about her, but god knows what the truth is. She's not one to say how she feels, more to bottle it up. We just had a discussion about what we should do and when i asked her "Why did you do those things on wednesday" and she said she doesnt know.

Maybe she's just afraid of getting hurt. When you care too much you lose control...and that control is almost like your shield...or your prison depending on how you want to look at it.

Im in Birmingham at the moment. I live in Coventry, but this is a residential college so you could say i live in Birmingham . The college is Queen Alexandra College; www.qac.ac.uk.

Also forgot to mention that im 22, and she has only recently turned 19(Jan 12th). What kinda sucks is that i dont look 22, a hairdresser i asked said i looked 15 .

hmm.

19 and 22. (you and her)

hmmm.

19 and 27. (me and my ex)

hmmmm.

I think I see yonder problem, tis the age difference. she's obviously that mature for a relationship.

Well im confused, what do you mean, shes not mature enough for a relationship, or what?