Are they the same?

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Let's suppose you're blonde.

Let's suppose that we are friends and drinking coffee in a cafe.

Scenario 1:

You: You know that girl there? Do you find her cute?
Me: No, she's blonde, I am not attracted to blondes.



Scenario 2:
You: You know that girl there? Do you find her cute?
Me: Eurgh! She's blonde, blondes disgust me, they look like filth!


Is the Scenario 1 the same as Scenario 2? Elaborate.

I assume you must be female to answer this poll? ::misandry::

In this scenario am I the blonde woman you are discussing with your friend?

If so scenario 1 would be ok with me because in general you don't go for blondes and it's not really that offensive. Even though it doesn't really show respect for me as an individual, it's a forgettable comment and I would just ignore it.

Scenario 2 is offensive because of the tone. It's like saying this person is a piece of dirt. That's not nice. It doesn't show any respect for the person as a human being with feelings. Saying this so vehemently will hurt me. I may not be attractive to you, that's ok, but it's not ok to treat me like I'm sub-human because of the color of my hair.

I think that it would be good for males to try and imagine that they are the blonde sitting minding her own business, enjoying a coffee and overhearing 2 men talking about her. How do you think you would feel if you were her after hearing these comments?

It might help guys understand how women feel about their comments to or about women in general.

Yes, males can answer it of course, as she said above.

Both comes off as pretty offensive to me if I was the blonde female friend in the example.

In the 2nd example boo even sounds like the male version of the trademarked "nice girl" (to the extreme).

You'd have to be pretty dumb not to run from him after he made that comment and you're a blonde female.

AnonymousGirl, you are invited in specific to reply this thead (there was confusion in the main thread due to typos and edits).

I personally wouldn't find the first offensive if I was her, I might get sad if I like the one who says so but other than that I would be indifferent.

Very good point!

I wouldn't be liking anyone talking about me in that manner at all as it's just plain rude to talk about someone within their earshot, no matter how politely

The fact that most people don't seem to get this basic rule of manners just makes it all the easier to dispense with them and focus in on the few remaining people with manners (of whom there are very few!)

Also, what's the significance of your friend being blonde and the girl that gets commented on/slagged off being blonde?

Are you concerned that by saying you don't like blonde girls you will have offended your blonde friend?

Judging people by hair colour just goes with the same ignorant territory as talking about someone within earshot - it's a 'type' of person who does all this kind of thing ie obnoxious and not someone you'd be wanting to attract in the first place.

What interests me is the degree to which this type of behaviour is seen as 'the norm' by NTs as it seems pretty common among them.

I made this thread because Nonperson and anonymousGirl said it was ok for the girl saying eww in the Nice Girl thread. I want to see if this is WP common.

In my opinion it's never ok to talk about others in that way within their earshot

Either just think it or wait till you leave the vicinity if you have the need to talk about someone nearby

As a rule when in a cafe I'm talking to my companion about more interesting topics than other random people there - probably because I have more intelligence and am not ruled by my libido or the desire to think myself superior to others

My companion and the drink in my cup and food on my plate is invariably more interesting to me than anyone else in the vicinity. If I can imagine they aren't there, that's perfect for me!

It's people with no intellectual content who point out, assess and run down others all day and they bore the s**t out of me
as well as make me angry that they have to spoil things for others who are forced to listen to their boorish, arrogant drivel!

They make me want to force them into a general knowledge quiz on the spot and watch them lose hopelessly!

they are not the same, even if scenario B is the explanation for the comment in scenario A.
scenario A is expressing a personal opinion and leaving it at that, i myself think that it is always possible and won't attack someone for expressing one.
however, example B is going to far and adds insult to injury and is going too far; there is a fine line between giving a negative opinion/comment and a direct insult. "A" is easily safe of that line, but B is far beyond it.

now i wont hold it against the person that they would have opinion B, but they shouldn't mention it in public

You'd have to be 100% socially inept to not see that "A" is merely non-hostile personal preference, and "B" is a hostile judgement of all people bearing a specific characteristic.

Yeah, I really found their stand on that matter weird.

How one can't differentiate between the two? How one can see S2 as mere "not seeing you attractive"?

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