Highly social but still failing socially

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I have always been highly social, in terms of wanting friends. Finding them has never been a problem - but keeping them interested HAS been.

Either due to apparent social faux pas I don't realize I've done or simply getting pissed off and leaving, and generally never going back out of embarrassment or simply disliking the person from then on. Or even there being no obvious reason, ie: not because of something I have done.

In the dating world, I often draw in someone's interest in me but then in one way or another, I manage to drive them away. I realize it's not always me, sometimes people just aren't REALLY interested in dating despite putting themselves out there, but I find it frustrating to no end when someone seemingly loses interest for absolutely no apparent reason!

I admit, sometimes I get on a subject and I start to rant and rave and it turns them off - but what the heck.... it feels like no one ever gives me a chance. It's as if they expect failure and latch on to any crummy excuse they can to reject you.

I know it's not just me though, NTs have similar dating problems when it comes to seeking out dates through websites.

But even the few guys I have met lately - they are anxious to meet and we seem to get along well, but once we part ways on the first meeting, they are suddenly no longer interested. WHAT THE HECK?

This was me and high school, and still is me now.

My lack of interest in small talk means, although I was confident and charismatic and hung out with a variety of people during high school, most of them I did not socialize with and was quiet, but out of disinterest in what they were talking about, not rudeness or shyness.

Nevertheless I got along with them well and still managed to converse with a variety of people, mostly people more inclined to more deep or intelligent conversation.

But I still generally spent most of my time hanging out with this one group but generally being very quiet around them, but as soon as I was interested in a topic, I could easily speak-up and talk to them perfectly fine.

I don't lack any social skills when it comes to this stuff, just pure disinterest and I grow bored quick. I know plenty of N.T.s who don't like small talk either, but to me it really does feel like a chore.

I also drive people away when I be honest about who I am, and my personality. When I'd actually talk about things I'm interested in, without raving on about it but just being detailed, others would still grow bored fairly quickly and try to change the subject to something more mainstream or imply they want me to do that.

On the internet, I can type long, but I mostly just type the necessary amount of details to convey the message I am trying to express. Sometimes I'm a little verbose and repetitive, but not enough to say my writing drags on or that I'm saying more than what is needed. This does drive a high number of people away...

This also happens to me in the dating department....I drive people in with my looks, but drive them away once I actually start to talk to them...

I can manage small talk and did so with a few people for a while, but it's just constant dallying back and forth, very tedious.

I don't like online friendships or relationships or just 'chatting' with random strangers, but most dating sites are like this.

I want to chat to someone close to me then ask them out, not chat to some stranger on Tinder over 100km (62 miles) away (which is where the capital of the state is).

In short: Do you think the reason you also have difficulty could be, like me, as good as your social skills may be, actually following social ettiquette and rules?

I get to hear that I am really intense at times. When the subject goes in a direction that I like then I do get ranty of course. But I usually tell people to stop me if I am too much. Hehehe… The best thing is of course finding someone that shares your interests.

Something else you could try is to avoid talking. I don't mean trying to avoid it all together but try to find some activity rather than a social situation in which you need to talk… And of course alternatively, find someone else with Asperger's.