to text or not to text

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i'm in a new relationship with an aspie and we've talked about being in communication with each other when we're apart from one another. i've told him that i get anxious and uncomfortable when i don't see him and we don't set a date when we'll see each other next. i told him i understand that we lead separate lives and fulfilling ones at that, and asked that he return a text within two hours of me sending one for acknowledgement--which i think is adequate, even if he were to see a movie in a theater. he said he usually does what he wants to but since he likes me he would be willing to agree to this.

he hasn't kept up to his side of our mutual agreement. i've brought it up once after our initial conversation about returning texts and he still doesn't return texts. last night (at 7:30pm), he texted that he was going to visit his friend, and i've yet to receive any communication from him (now 7:52pm). i'm a bit confused and frustrated. i'm thinking that i will not text him first to see what type of reaction i will get from him.

People get frustrated over these kinds of things, diagnosed Aspie or not. It's annoying to deal with when someone doesn't get back to you when you hoped they would. Nothing much you can do about it but probably drop a text to see if you get a reply. I don't know why people simply give up just because of a simple lack of acknowledgement to a text when simply put: Life happens. Have you been enjoying yourself otherwise? Keep that in mind for when these kind of events happen.

besides the logical vs. emotional debates we have, and the "all you have is money and no hobbies" text i once received... things are going well...

I think that it's extremely unrealistic to expect him to text you within 2 hours every time you send him one, and even more unrealistic to get bent out of shape after not hearing from him for only 22 minutes. I think that the more important thing to figure out here is why you feel that you need that constant communication...good communication is necessary to a relationship but it sounds like you may be expecting a bit much of him.

That said I think that texting, really as much as you want, is perfectly fine. The only caveat is that you can't expect him to always respond immediately, and you shouldn't get upset with him when he doesn't.

To me, a two hour limit seems a bit restrictive and controlling. I'd feel like I was being kept on an electronic leash and I would resent it. A text (IMO) is like a voicemail- it doesn't demand an immediate response just because the sender would prefer one. But that's just me.

If he agreed to your text conditions, he might just be forgetful and you've got the option of being patient with him and mentioning gently how important it is to you or getting upset. Getting upset probably won't make him want to respond any quicker though.

Good luck!

...are you a text addict who demands constant updates and communication? There's a limit!

he texted this morning a "hey, what's up". i texted. "good morning!" this afternoon i texted "are you working?" he texted "no", and that's been the extent of our communication since tuesday night.... }=l

Teenagers?

Or are you actually an adult?

sigh

Girls...

lol. yes. i'm an adult acting like a teenager...