The use of escorts, i.e. paying for sex

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I lost my virginity at the age of 21 to a prostitute. My decision was made based on the feeling of uncertainty of where my life may lead to if I had no sexual experience by the time I turn 40. Since then, I thought I would gain more self confidence to experience having sex without paying, but I feel just as awkward, even during my first year as a fresher at university and recently on holiday with friends to Ibiza.

I have had a problem controlling my obsessive behaviour on the grounds of the opposite sex, and this often leads to inappropriate behaviour which has an impact on first impressions of me around the people I know, including girls.

In 2010, I visited Soho on my own where a lady conned me hundreds of pounds for using an escort service and if I refused to pay for whatever she demanded, she threatened to call the police, thinking I am breaking the law because prostitution is illegal. I often wonder whether it is the punter that's in the wrong or not. This has had a major impact on my life which partly affected my concentration with my studies at university. After this event happened, I started to become dependent on using the sexual services local to where I study my degree in Bournemouth. This started to steadily spiral out of control and began to feel as though I was getting addicted to it. In Summer 2011, I began to stop doing it for 8 months until I began to start doing it again in February last year.

Recently, I'm beginning to realise the potential consequences of my actions by constantly calling the local escort agencies, asking which girls are working and the descriptions of each one. The maid I asked was getting very angry and irritated with my compulsion as she recognises my voice from previous phonecalls. I understand the thing that's making her more angry is the fact that I ask which girls and the descriptions of each and never make commitments to actually use the service, which means that I'm a waste of time to the maid as well as the girls working.

I am now getting to the point where I really want to stop doing what I'm doing before the worst happens, so I will not ever do this again.

Maybe the maid would find it less annoying if you described your ideal girl to her then she can describe the closest match?

But yeah quitting is good too.

The time she spends with you is time she could be spending with a paying customer. Don't waste her time.

one word - condoms.

I think it's legally required in Europe to use condoms in a brothel.

Honestly get help before its too late. I have avoided escorts/prostitutes for this exact reason. I would most likely become obsessed with it. I am not saying people should not do it but if you lose control and cannot stop you are risking your life. This is risky sexual behavior. I know plenty of guys who have gotten into this mess and its not pretty in the end.

Who knows maybe I am just overly cautious. But do not say I didn't warn you.

Seriously, what's the point? You yourself--and your electric friends, if applicable --are probably a better sex partner than someone you pay to do it. Gross!!

First, with regards to legality, I do not know what country you live in, but if it is the UK then (for the most part) prostitution is legal. (Search the world wide web if you want to know the specifics. As is often the case, wikipedia is good place to start: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_law , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_by_country ).

Second, from your post I assume you mean meeting with sex workers and/or calling escort services is interfering with the rest of your life and causing you a lot of distress. If so, then speak to your local health care provider (your GP, if you live in the UK). Ask him (or her) for a referral to a mental health professional (such as a clinical psychologist) for assistance with obsessive-compulsive behaviours. If your health care provider asks for more specific information before making the referral, you can either explain things or simply say it is of a sexual matter and you do not feel comfortable discussing the details with him (or her).

In the meantime, try surfing escorting websites instead of telephoning agencies. (But do not contact the women on those sites unless you genuinely want to arrange a meeting.)

I am going to be using an escort to help me with my virignity issues as well. Why did you continue using them though? Once you cured your virginity there should have been nothing stopping you from sex with sluts. You should read up and study PUA so you can start having lots of sex.

You gotta be trollin me right? PUA? LOL

I'm serious. The social dynamics of the hookup culture are not something any Aspie would know on their own.

PUA Doesn't work.. the only thing it does is rob people of their cash.

Well why would you pay? You can torrent/pirate any digital material. I have several books that I downloaded for free.
The only thing you would pay for are the bootcamps and programs. Those are for men who have anxeity and insecurities and in that situation seeing a prostitute is a better option anyway.