Poly relationships, opinions?

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I was discussing the whole thing about my feelings for Ole Boy and my husband with a friend yesterday and he said "You're poly" and I immediately denied it because I'm not in a poly relationship, well not exactly anyway. I got to thinking about it and I realized that a person can be poly themselves, as in they would either be ok with or actually prefer that type of relationship, without actually being in one. I think he was right.

So, I'm starting a discussion thread about that. What do you think of poly relationships? Would you ever consider being in one? Why or why not? Would you be ok with sharing your partner as well, or just ok with having two or more partners yourself? That last one is kind of difficult. I am not sure I would be ok with sharing my husband, I think I would get really jealous unless the other girl involved was one of my good friends. I only know of two that I wouldn't mind sharing him with. I actually share Ole Boy with them. If you are in a relationship now, do you think your partner would be ok with the idea?

Also, do you think polygamy should be legal? I think it should.

Poly relationships? Got no problem with 'em myself. Actually, if you look at most of the traditional societies on Earth, such as the Himba, as well as our close evolutionary relatives (Chimps, Bonobos, Gorillas), monogamy seems to be the less natural of the two. The only reason why it's not acceptable in our society is because of repressive puritanical religious beliefs.

Go with your gut on this one. If you love multiple people, there's no reason to deny yourself, unless it would destroy your currently existing relationship, such as with your husband. However, you have to remember that a poly relationship isn't just you and your two lovers. They have a relationship as well. If you were to move on this, you'd have to make sure both parties, your husband and Ole Boy, are cool with it.

As for if I would be in one? Don't see why not. I'm not poly, myself, a strictly one woman kinda guy, but if, someday, I were to find a woman I loved, I'd have no choice but to allow her to be herself. If that means sharing her, then by all means, because otherwise, that's not love, it's possession. In fact, it might be somewhat liberating.

However, also consider local culture. You're from the deep south, right? It would be advisable to keep the whole deal on the downlow. Folks down there might not take too kindly to it.

And as legality goes, I think that the government has no business judging what goes on in bedrooms or hearts.

Aren't most of those interested in polyamorous relationships straight males? I looked into one organization that says it had to carefully vet new "straight male" members because they have had an "overabundance" of applications from straight males. I got mine approved. But that was more of a pride thing, after I read that. I hate competition.

Wouldn't mind having a primary partner and sharing this partner and then also having other secondary partners. Or having kind of a circle including men and women. I think polyamory would suit me for a lot of reasons. Wouldn't know how to get into it though.

From mother nature's side, everyone is polyamorous. Sticking to just one partner for 60 years isn't natural, and our cave dwelling ancestors were seemingly content with having one night stands or being f*ckbuddies.

The problem is, though, that anyone who lives in the western world today, is expected to repress his or her polyamorous instincts—and thus, many believe that monoygamy is the right and only way.

Humans are by nature no more monogamous than apes, cats or boars.

I have a hard enough time keeping myself happy - even more effort goes into keeping my wife happy, as well - to even consider a polyamorous relationship (or even an affair or one-night stand).

I could never actually pursue it and have it the way I'd really like it which is all of us living together. Neither of our kids would be able to deal with that. They would freak completely out and probably never talk to any of us again.

DH and Ole Boy get along ok. They have known each other a long time. He coached my sons in the Little League team and his oldest son is my husbands best football buddy. He comes over and watches the games all the time with him. He's better friends with DH than he is with my kids who are his age. But, DH and Ole Boy are both real big Alabama fans, they both believe in UFO's and are both Republicans and Catholic. They drink the same kind of beer and like the same kind of food and other than in the sack they are pretty much interchangeable because they both just sit there and look at tv or the internet. Ole boy is a bit more sociable than DH though but not much - he goes to Hooters once a week lol. If we all did live together it would be much easier for everybody financially. Having two incomes is better than one and while I'd have a little more housework than I do now, it wouldn't be all that bad. Just throw more laundry in and make bigger meals. Plus, all the "boy jobs" around the house would get done quicker I think, because DH is too tired to do a lot when he gets home from work. Also, Ole Boy knows about cars and DH doesn't know anything at all about them, so he could fix it rather than having to take it to a mechanic.

As it is, (before the fire, anyway) I'd go over there and clean the house up, and then take food over after I cooked it here, so I'd always have to get my other dishes and bring back, and I'd do his laundry there at his house, so it actually seemed like more work.

I think they would get along just fine in regular day to day stuff. They would just sit on the couch and drink beer and watch ESPN which what they both do separately anyway. But, if we were to ever do that (which we never will, but a girl can dream) I would want to have my own room too. I have four bedrooms so that wouldn't be a problem. That would actually be kind of great. See, DH knows about Ole Boy, and of course Ole Boy knows about DH, and neither of them seem to have any problems with any of that. I just have to not be too obvious about going over there, or just pretend like we are just good friends and nothing else. It's one of those things where we all know, but we all pretend it's different. My kids don't know anything at all about it, but his kids do. I am absolutely amazed at the fact that his kids had enough self control to not tell my kids. His ex wife knows too, and she's a friend of mine and I fixed her up with a single friend and they still date off and on. She's come over there when I've been there and I thought it would be awkward but it really wasn't.

So, I think it would work just fine, but there is not a snowballs chance in hell of it actually happening. Then again, I like having a place to go to just to get away from here when I'm stressed out. Since my best friend moved in with her mother I can't go there, so I go to Ole Boy's. Or used to anyway.

I don't share.

My only issue with them is whether or not all parties have a choice in the matter. Far too often one hears of cultist brain washing. Besides that clearly unethical practice, I don't have a personal issue with it.

Would never be in such a relationship. It is bad enough dealing with the drama of one person.

I consider it to be socially and morally reprehensible, but everyone has a right to do that sort of thing if they so choose.

Why is it reprehensible? If you consider it morally wrong, is that because of religious views? Also, how is it socially wrong? I can understand someone objecting to it on moral grounds, but how could it be wrong on social grounds?

It could be considered immoral if some of the people are unaware that their sexual partner is also with other people.

I'm not talking about that kind of thing. In my scenario everybody knows. I don't know anyone who would condone that, even people who are or have been in that situation themselves.

The only time that's ok is when things are casual and there is no relationship yet and it's none of anyone's business if you are seeing other people.

How about when people have been brainwashed into thinking they have to be in that kind of relationship?

Brainwashing in itself is immoral, so that also has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who know whats going on and freely consent to it.

Then no one should give a crap. Not their lives. Not their husbands or wives.

It's due to a combination of religious views and personal implications. There's already far too many STDs and unplanned pregnancies floating around in this world, and engaging in those kind of promiscuous behaviors only serve to increase the risk of both (being both safe and educated helps, but only goes so far). Not to mention that those sorts of relationships can often be emotionally confusing, and are often based purely on sex. Like I said if people want to engage in those behaviors it's their right and I have no problem with that, but I will never condone or support it myself.

While I'm not married, this pretty much sums up my views. I don't know how I'd balance multiple relationships on top of all the other things in life that need attention, myself included. I know some people are more low-maintenance than others, but it still seems like more trouble than it's worth when one relationship has plenty to offer. I don't know how I'd handle jealousy and having to worry about not being second place in my own relationship (probably not very well).