Things happening too fast--don't know if I want this

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First, I'll just make it clear that I am gay. However, this struck me as more of a Love and Dating thread than an LGBT thread. Also, sorry for the long post.

For the past 6 or 7 months I've been on a free online dating site (with no success, although a few unpleasant stories). Last Saturday I sent a message to a guy who's profile looked kind of interesting. It was just the normal sort of thing to start with: "How have things been?"; "What are you up to?" etc. Then on Sunday he asked for my phone number so we could text. I told him that I'd rather meet in person first and he wanted to meet that evening for coffee. I was busy so we agreed to meet the next day. During this he asked a question about sexual preferences, to which I responded with an explanation that I was looking for a relationship and wanted to wait awhile to have sex. He seemed to take this all right so I decided I'd give him a chance.

So the next day we met, although he was late due to traffic and it was quite a short "date." We also exchanged phone numbers. That night he sent me some very flirty texts and also referred to me as "babe." Basically we ended up "sexting." It was my first time doing this and I can't help feeling that I was only doing it under pressure from him. We also exchanged some pictures (not involving much clothing, but never including our faces). We met for lunch the next day and kissed a bit. The day after we could only meet for about 20 minute on campus (we go to the same university) because we were both busy. Today we had a lunch date and then went back to my apartment. I was only intending to cuddle/make out but we ended up fooling around. We met up tonight after I finished work and the same thing happened (I went much farther than I intended, although still not all the way). I won't lie, this was very enjoyable. And yet...

He seems very lovey-dovey considering we've been in contact for less than a week. He asked me at one point if I loved him. To this I laughed and said we'd only known each other a few days. So he asked if I really liked him (I said yes, as there is a lot that I do like about him). He keeps saying that he wants to stay the night with me this weekend. After our...fun...this afternoon he asked "so this makes us boyfriends, right?" which I kind of had to agree with. I do think that he seriously wants a relationship and not just sex. This is good, as so do I. However, I frankly feel that it is very soon for either. I mean, we've only been in contact for 5 days! I'm also rather uncomfortable with how many guys it seems like he's been with before me. I get the impression there have been quite a few, and a lot of them were just hookups, or fooling around after second dates but not a relationship. I mean, I suppose this shouldn't really effect things since he's very clear that in relationships he is monogamous. But it kind of feels like we have different values. (I was brought up to have fairly traditional view on these sorts of things).

I'm also a little bothered since it seems like we disagree a lot on politics. I know this sounds a little silly, but my politics are extremely important to me and he's majoring in political science, so it's something that would come up. And generally I feel as though politics reflect my values and ethics, so I'm concerned that we disagree on this. And generally, I don't know if our personalities match. He's a bit on the effeminate side, which I'm generally not attracted to. At first I thought that he might be an exception to this, but now I'm not so sure. He makes a lot of suggestive jokes, which was fun at first but feels a bit tiring now. I'm not sure that we'll have much to talk about that isn't just innuendo, since politics could lead to arguments and he doesn't have the background to understand anything much about my physics studies/summer job.

I'm really thinking I should break things off with him (as I wrote this I became more and more sure). But now I feel like a scumbag, doing it after we've fooled around together. It just seems like such a slimy thing to do. And he is a nice guy, so maybe I should give him more of a chance. But just in my heart-of-hearts I feel like this isn't a guy who I'd be eager to introduce to my parents or friends. And he just seems so different from the sort of guy I'd always seen myself dating. I can't really imagine us being long-term partners, which makes me wonder what's the point of this. I kind of don't want to waste my time on a relationship which I don't think will ultimately lead anywhere. I wish things had gone more slowly so I could get a proper sense of whether we are well-matched. What should I do?

I think you deserve to have your instincts and are well-served by listening to them,

He's got to be considerate of you, otherwise it won't go anywhere good. He's rushing things at best, and at worst he's potentially being manipulative. Certainly very aggressive.

I know it seems like maybe this one is all you have going right now, but it's so much better not to waste time as you said. If you feel regret for passing him up, it will soon be replaced by relief and a sense of adventure and anticipation for what could be just around the corner for you.

I did break things off with him and he did not take it well. Said that I'd used him and was a jerk. Said that I was obviously confused about what I wanted, called me a bunch of nasty names, threatened to "punish" me. Demanded that I get tested for STIs and send him a picture of the certificate by the end of next week. I was feeling really terrible and guilty and also scared about what he'd do. Especially since he has pictures of me. Anyway, I called my uncle, who is also gay and as such is the one I tend to turn to for advice regarding these things, and he helped calm me down a lot. He said that I'd done everything as I should have and had nothing to feel guilty about. He told me that this guy almost certainly will not do anything to retaliate. He also told me to break off all contact, not to even bother sending a picture of a certificate saying I have no STIs.

Good, wow, I'd say you really dodged a bullet there. I totally agree with that advice, just lie low. It seemed a little fishy, but that's even worse than I imagined.

Hope you're doing alright, don't feel the least bit guilty; he's the one who should. Be safe!