dating is competive. ( rewording)

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since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.

Last edited by billiscool on 26 May 2013, 3:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Wow, not the most diplomatic of wording!

Anyways, I think if everyone worried less about what others thought of who they should date in general, everyone would be a lot happier and better off. Men and women.

Don't you mean "pickier" or "more picky"?

Do you mean we should act more like women?

Could you have phrased this in a more offensive way!? I'm an autistic female and I don't think that I am lesser than an NT woman.


If you say stuff like this, no woman is going to be interested in you.

don't worry. I decide to delete the thread. was not trying to offended anyone. sorry about that.

Don't worry most of us say wrong stuff all the time and don't even realise why it's wrong. I don't think anyone's mad about it.

^ All of this. Geeky/eccentric/non-NT women are not lesser than NT women. I am an Aspie, fat, eccentric, weird, geeky woman and have a gorgeous, talented and amazing boyfriend who is also an Aspie. He thinks I'm beautiful and I agree. So I'm going to venture a wild guess and say the reason your chances with women are so slim is because you keep looking at women as prizes to be won and not actual human beings.

Smart move

I know this has been said a thousand times, but people are individuals; each is unique. When you meet someone you are interested in; resist the urge to categorize - people are full of surprises.

no, I like asperger women, I like eccentric women, I just hate competing against other men. and also the fact, that many men
are above me in social ladder, make money than me, and are smarter than me. have a better chance of dating any type of women,
than I do.

^ you can't rewrite evolution (unless you are a brave geneticist lol) - you can only adapt to it.

Precisely, and good for you!

like being at a party, you see this one quiet shy girl and you would like to date her, but at the same party,
you have 4 other guys who also like her too. and 3 of the men have better social skills than you.
so, now you have to competive against 3 guys for one woman. and it sucks.

and online dating is even worst.

I used to think that way. I never had any success.

Then I started to realize that even if I don't have wild success in my life, a ton of money, or the best social skills, I needed to be able to adapt in some way to have positive interactions with the opposite sex. The first thing I did was start trying to learn skills that at least sound interesting (It motivated me to start working out and getting involved in a martial art). The second thing I did was tell myself, "I can do this." Confidence is key. The next step? I practice when I get the chance (hard to find opportunities where I currently live, but I take them when I can).

You're going to 'fail' sometimes, maybe even most of the time, but you have to look back and try and learn from each failure, or at least try and frame it in a positive way. Maybe you said hello to a woman and she brushed you off quickly. You could say, "I failed." You could also say, "I got in there, and said hello. What could I have done better next time?" Have more to open a conversation with, perhaps, or maybe she just wasn't interested in being approached by you at all.

Also: Being bitter does you no favors (I saw your original post), it isn't cool, it isn't attractive, and it does you know good.

I'm no expert, and my 'success rate' isn't that high (I don't think it is for most people, really, if someone here has a high success rate, seriously, teach me more), but I started getting more dates and more positive interactions with women once I accepted that I was going to have competition.

I would think there are two reasons others might be more successful in dating compared to you.

1. Other men know what they want and they go for it. It does sound like that you don't know what you want you in a girl.
2. Other men have learned how to connect with others and do their best to compromise and understand a girl better than you do.

and the same men are going after the same type of women That I Like. ( eccentric women)
I like geeky and eccentric women. but so do alot of other guys, and most guys are better than me in the social skill area.
so they get the girl, and I get nothing, but a new female friend.