Reading someone's intent in a random encounter

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Oneiros
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06 Jun 2013, 3:51 am

I was walking along today and this woman, probably late 30s and reasonably attractive, asked me to remove the coolant lid on her car as it was too tight for her. I did and topped up the coolant. She was being very nice the whole time and I made some conversation, then left after the thing was done. There was definitely an opening for things to go further but I didn't take it.

I found it difficult to read her intentions. What do you think they were? On another day I might have played along and asked her to coffee or something, but I guess her over-enthusiasm made me uneasy. I mean if she was being flirtatious then yeah its obvious and I would go for it, but what else would she be hoping for from some random guy around 10 years younger than her? She did seem a little nervous and I felt uncomfortable too.

This kind of thing has come up before and I need to get my head around it. Do women just do this kind of thing to see what you are like, make sure you aren't a weirdo and give you the chance to ask them out?



singularity
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06 Jun 2013, 6:05 am

Maybe she really just needed you to help her, and was worried that you'd think she was trying to get you to ask her out?



Stalk
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06 Jun 2013, 8:12 am

Yeah I would imagine it is a socially accepted way of finding out what you are like without having to reveal that they are just checking you out. Because they might enter with the opportunity on their mind to meet someone new and it could have a positive outcome, or not. I wonder if that is something to do with being extroverted. Walking up to someone random and check out what they are like in person. I always thought I was just being used. But there might be that the chance of actually reading the situation real time, assess it and react. So based on the slower response she was probably already turned off. Ah I'm just over analysing it again.



Oneiros
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06 Jun 2013, 8:40 am

singularity wrote:
Maybe she really just needed you to help her, and was worried that you'd think she was trying to get you to ask her out?


No definitely not. She was too forward for that. Even at the end she told me her name and shook my hand, and was trying to keep things going.



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06 Jun 2013, 9:40 am

Oneiros wrote:
I was walking along today and this woman, probably late 30s and reasonably attractive, asked me to remove the coolant lid on her car as it was too tight for her. I did and topped up the coolant. She was being very nice the whole time and I made some conversation, then left after the thing was done. There was definitely an opening for things to go further but I didn't take it. I found it difficult to read her intentions. What do you think they were?

To get you to do something for her so that she wouldn't break a nail, mess up her hair, or get her clothes dirty.

Oneiros wrote:
On another day I might have played along and asked her to coffee or something, but I guess her over-enthusiasm made me uneasy. I mean if she was being flirtatious then yeah its obvious and I would go for it, but what else would she be hoping for from some random guy around 10 years younger than her?

That you would be so impressed with her beauty and attention that you would do something for her that you would normally avoid doing for yourself.

Oneiros wrote:
She did seem a little nervous and I felt uncomfortable too. This kind of thing has come up before and I need to get my head around it. Do women just do this kind of thing to see what you are like, make sure you aren't a weirdo and give you the chance to ask them out?

Neither. It seems that when a reasonably attractive female strange is suddenly 'flirtatious' with me, she wants something from me, and it usually involves my money, my time, or me getting my hands dirty.

"Pretty girls just seem to find out early how to open doors with just a smile." -- The Eagles, "(You Can't Hide Your) Lying Eyes"

You fell for it. Let us know if you ever meet her again, and if she is just as friendly to you without needing something from you.