Confused by him his actions?

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My apologies for making this long!

I'm 20 years old, have Asperger's, in college, and I like this guy who I suspect may also have Asperger's. He's odd. He never initiates texts with anyone along with in person conversations. He doesn't say much and doesn't know how to give advice (usually remains quiet). He appears to be unaffectionate. When we first talked he used to walk away from me when I'd be in the middle of talking. . . He acts very shy and awkward around me.

Sometime in January I told him I liked him. He told me I wasn't his type and that he liked someone else. I honestly believe he was lying about liking someone else because I might have freaked him out. I still texted him after being rejected and he would seem eager to talk to me based on how quickly he replied to my texts. When the Spring semester came he ignored me in person, but not over text. He would show up to places he knew I had class (don't know how he found out my schedule) and would pass by me and ignore me. I eventually confronted him about ignoring me and he lied saying he didn't see me.

Eventually we began to talk again when I asked him if we could hang out somewhere on campus. He agreed and said I could come hang out with him while he played cards. He can play cards and video games for hours since those are his main interests!

Now it's the summertime and I've been trying to hang out with him. We have good text conversations. At first I was scared that he didn't want to hang out with me because he always came up with an excuse. At some point I asked him if he's avoiding me and to be honest with me about not wanting to see me. He said he does want to see me, but he's just busy. I've noticed that he wouldn't mind hanging out with me when he goes out to play cards, but when it involves something where it's only the two of us he has an excuse. I'm not sure if that's because he gets nervous. Like two weeks ago, he called me and asked if I was going to be at a mall close to his city so he can pick me up and take me to the place he plays cards. I couldn't make it because I already had plans and I didn't have a ride and I live far. I haven't seen him in a little over a month.

He doesn't like intimacy even though he's hinted that he wants a girlfriend and that he's had one before. He also doesn't like hugging. He told me I could hug him, but he won't hug me back. He stiffens when I hug him. Over text, I told him that I miss him and asked him if he misses me back and he didn't reply. Two days later, I asked him if I made him uncomfortable and he said I sort of did. I apologized. Surprisingly a few days later we discussed things we should do when we hang out.

The reason why I like him so much is because me and him have so much in common: our ways of thinking, ways we act, and interests. In the past I dated a normal guy and I hated it. I didn't like the intimacy. I didn't mind hugging the guy I just hated kissing, holding hands, cuddling and I didn't want to have sex. The guy would try to take advantage of me. Eventually I found out that he was seeing another girl and I stopped talking to him. I've also been rejected in the past by guys because they found me awkward and weird. This guy I now like accepts me for who I am.

The guy I like seems to have really low self esteem which is why I think that's why he lies about the smallest things. I think he even lied about knowing a lot of people. From what I know, he doesn't like socializing much. He rather play video games all day. He usually only socializes with people when he plays cards and doesn't seem to desire hanging out with people outside of that or school. Once when I was hanging out with him and his card friends at school they said they were surprised to see he has a friend (especially a girl) and that they thought of him as anti-social. He looked so embarrassed! Along with lying, he gets a little jealous when I talk to other guys which is unavoidable for me because I'm an engineering major.

I am confused on whether this guy likes me or not. I really, really, really do like him! I'm not even sure if he has AS. His behavior is very difficult to read. Any advice on this whole situation?

One advice: If he plays video games so much, why don't you find out what console he is on (XBox or PS3)... I'm going to assume PS3 but still ask, find out what games he is playing, get the same console and game, and join him online multiplayer... Maybe talk about the games he is playing... There is nothing wrong with girls playing Call of Duty or whatever game they want to play

Otherwise, I'm surprised he got embarrassed when his friends say they were surprised that he brought a girl to hang out with them... I sometimes feel embarrassed when my mom or her friends will be surprised when I hopefully get a gf...

I think you should just keep trying but don't try too hard like the way your ex bf's took advantage of you... I realize some girls can get creeped out just by my appearance and my face

I wish there was a girl like you who had the same interests as I do and understand my quirkiness (but I am into the EDM club/rave scene, which is harder for me to accomplish which I could have whatever woman I want... But it's still tough for me)

I hope these advices will work

PS - welcome to WP

@ mfs1013: Thanks for your advice! Yeah I was shocked too that he felt kind of embarrassed when his friends joking on him about finally knowing someone outside of games. He supposedly had a girlfriend before, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was lying about that to seem more experienced.

yea, no problem... im not that good on giving advices... maybe online, but not IRL

i think you should tell him first hand that you are NOT going to embarrass him or take advantage of him, and tell him that through the phone or when you hang out with him... as a way of taking things slow