Just how do I tell her?

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So, here's my story. I found this gal on OKCupid from Orange County, and she and I have it going along pretty well. Now the big Q, how do I tell her and make it official?

I am just so worried, people.....

you are dating face to face yet?

(this advice comes from my most recent experience): wait for an issue, and explain it away casually with, 'oh, thats my autism'.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt229859.html

i hope i linked to the thread correctly^^^
but that is honestly what worked for me.

Not quite yet. Once I get to L.A. this summer, however...

if you're talking about telling her you have AS, just bring it up casually one day and don't be too dramatic about it. and then move on.

^ Already done.

I meant confessing my love for her, if ya get mah drift.

oh i see. you shouldn't confess your love for someone you haven't even met in person yet. wait until you've met and spend some physical time together.

better to have her think "ah, ive been waiting to hear that!" than "uhhh, a bit too soon, i'm confused"

Slight problem: She is in SoCal. I am in WA ATM.

This is so simple.

Just say you enjoy your time spent together and you now want to make it officially exclusive with her (obviously add a bit about how much you care about her and how she makes you feel).

You're worried about her response, well let me tell you it's better just come out with it now than a few moths down the line and still hear the same answer, why waste time wondering when you can just know?

BUT, if you have not met this person yet spend some time with her first before you do all that, otherwise it might feel a bit...

Since you haven't met her, don't say "love" word yet. Start slowly, by saying: "I really care about you" or "I love how we have so much in common" or etc.

Just how much time are we talking, though?

I am thinking when I finally see her, I should tell her, amirite?

I think you should already start with the freindly compl;iments and then tell her that you would like something more after seeing her maybe 3 times or so in person.

I see. But do you mean in the time that I'm in L.A., or something?

Don't confuse this heavy infatuation for love yet... and don't go saying it yet either - it'll scare her off so fast she'll leave a silhouette-shaped hole in the wall!



Take your time and just enjoy each other's company! Feel free to say you enjoyed that time and you like her company, and that you like her... "Love" is too serious for some to handle. Heck, I almost scared my ex-wife away when saying "I love you" after months of dating!

Yes, the love stuff should be saved when you actually see her for some time in LA first. Like Bluemax said, that word can scare people away, men or women. You must also try to see if she sends you good signals when you guys meet. I know people with AS can't pick up on some but good signs are if she's smiling, laughing, and there are other signs online as well. Once you feel she gets cozy and comfortable with you is when you should then state how you would like more(as in dating). I would still not say love yet until actual dating happens. Saying that you are interested and like her is much better and won't scare her. You can already start telling her how you enjoy chatting and things like that for now.