How do you reply when someone e-mails a heart (love)?

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So I have been seeing this aspie man for a while now. He is divorced and middle aged. Recently I have been sending him little hearts on Skype to tell him "I love you". I also tell him "I miss you". He usually replied with a smiley face and sometimes an xxx. Does that mean that he does not feel the same way, or is he just incapable of expressing emotion?

Sadly, it could be both. Or hearts just aren't his thing. I'm a bad indicator of these things.

I agree. He may also feel uncomfortable with expressions of love, whether giving or receiving.

I wouldn't think anything at all of giving/receiving a heart in a message and not sending the same thing back. I have received messages like that before and it is hard for me to respond because there does not seem to be any factual information being conveyed or any way to convey any information back, but I never thought it was a big deal. I tried to learn how to do it once. I think the issue might come as much from having received negative responses to displays of emotions in the past as much as from an inborn inability to display emotion.

Really, what does ":heart:" mean?

The definition, as well as the interpretation, is largely subjective. It could mean "I Love You" to the sender, but only "I think that you are sweet" to the recipient, especially if the former is a woman and the latter is a man.

Men tend to miss the meaning behind vague, subjective imagery to begin with, and this could be even more significant if the man has any Autistic tendencies.

@ALLA: Instead of sending him little hearts on Skype to say "I love you", speak or write these words in an unambiguous way - just come right out and say "I love you" to his face, and he is sure to get the meaning.

yeah, hearts are often used in a merely flirtatious sort of way so he may not take them seriously. His "XXX" reply, however, seems provocative. I agree that you should just type out "I love you" or call him and tell him how you feel. Often, Aspie males need a female coming on strong because they doubt that the female really likes them. They have trouble reading others and trick themselves into thinking the female may not really feel that way. So come on strong and he is probably lonely and lovesick and would appreciate a companion.

Well, here is how a recent conversation looked:

He: Feeling better now. I was just feeling weak earlier.
Me: My poor darling. Is there anything I can do?
He: No, I'm OK now.
Me: (hug) Lots of kisses
He: xxx
Me: (heart) Can't wait to see you on Tuesday .
He: looking forward to it! xx

Does this look like a romantic exchange between an Aspie and an NT?

No. It looks like a light-hearted, yet slightly flirtatious exchange between a man and a woman who just happen to be friends.

Disclaimer: I am a man who was diagnosed with AS a few years ago. Before then, unless a woman were to throw her arms around me, hold me close and tell me that she loved me, I would never have considered her as anything more than a friend. So while I say "No" to your question, I may be wrong.

He and I have been sexually involved for a while.

To me, this indicates more than just platonic friendship. To me, it sounds like the beginning stages of a romantic relationship, which is more than just being friends. But, of course, this is something you would need to clarify specifically, you being an aspie.

Last edited by Thelibrarian on 15 Jun 2013, 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think it means anything. Some girls send these out in like every message.

"He and I have been sexually involved for a while". M'kay, this changes things. You have to make your intentions clear. That or I'm confused.

Aren't XXXXs kisses? If it is, he's sending you kisses back when you write the word kisses.

I believe so.

Have you ever heard the one about "Free Milk and the Cow"?

This interaction from earlier today.

Me: Are you feeling OK today?
He: Yes, I am much better. x
Me: I was really worried about you earlier! Glad you are feeling well!
(heart) Love you!
He: xxx

He always seems to reply with xxx when I tell him that I love him or miss him. Should I see this as a positive or does he just not feel the same way? I mean, I'd expect someone to say "I love you too", but perhaps this is not his style?
He has said in the past that he is not good at expressing emotion.