Why is chivalry good for anyone?

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In the first instance, the woman needs to chill out. The firemen were just reacting to her being dressed up. She should take it as a compliment. Although had it been me, I would have hated the loud noise!

I can't really comment on the second . . . I don't know anything about head scarf cultural mores.

The third point seems unrelated to me. The bouncer was doing his job - he encountered a nut case and was physically assaulted. I don't think this relates to chivalry.

The initial quote suggests that chivalry is a way of controlling women's behaviour by attaching her status to her reliance on a man. I wonder if there's any truth to this these days.

It's benevolent sexism, it may be taught to people but it's good to question our conditioning. I don't think it's done with the intention of being sexist, but that doesn't change what it is.

It's nice to hold a door for anyone, it's nice to be nice to anyone, but it's demeaning to women if you think it's only important to do these things for women. It's internalized misogyny to expect men to do things for you just because you're a woman.

I would reply at length but my laptop is out of commission so... I'll wait until I'm at a computer to expand on this.

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Some of my female cousins have told me how they like people being chivalrous with them, they say it is about manners and feeling protected and being taken care of. One of them once teased me about not carrying a bag she had, but it was a very light one and I figured she could do it herself. Now they don't ask me to carry their stuff unless it's heavy which I actually don't mind because I am objectively and undeniably the stronger one. I believe chivalry is an extension of the politeness and courtesy I extend to all genders, it just gets called that way when it is from a man towards a woman. I do wonder if extra effort would be expected by a girlfriend from me though.4

Door holding I do not care. I also find it odd when guys modify their speech because a girl ( me) is around so they spew profanity and disrespect when they are in the hallway but are super polite around me. That is not genuine.

What I do appreciate is when guys help me carry things. I am small and petite. I can throw my weight around (haha martial arts joke) but a 50 lb box is half my body weight. Guys as a general physiological rule have more muscle for equivalent body size and their muscle tends to be denser. I do not thinks guys should only do heavy labor but it is WAY appreciated if someone offers to help with heavy boxes or holds the door if I have lots of stuff in my arms ( but anyone should hold the door for someone else with their arms full of stuff).

Several points on chivalry:

Chivalry comes from the same source as romantic love, which began in the Middle Ages, and allowed young women to choose their husbands. This is something which made the West unique; arranged marriages were the rule everywhere else, and are still the rule in some parts of the world. Women being allowed to choose their spouses meant that women were seen as individuals, rather than as pieces of property to be bought and sold, and with absolutely no control over their own destiny.

Professional police forces for cities and counties are something relatively new (about 150 years old). And before there were regular police patrols, life was a lot more dangerous, and women in particular needed to be protected. Despite the horrors that do happen, the fact is that life is becoming progressively safer--something we are prone to take for granted.

Finally, some men need a formal reminder that women are to be treated with respect. Men are normally much larger and stronger than women, making it difficult for women to defend themselves.

It has been my experience that any socio-cultural practice that has been around for many centuries serves some useful purpose. Assuming that just because something is old that it must be stupid or vicious is to assume that all those who came before were stupid or vicious, and that somehow we are smarter and morally superior. Throwing away our traditions without careful examination is the ultimate in not only barbarism, but narcissism as well.

Maybe because it works with some guys? Most guys I know are that way. I have yet to even meet a 50-50 guy. I think for a woman to want a chilvary kind of guy, she must also accept to be the traditionally "submissive"role. I think it's wrong to expect chilvary and yet get all the works of feminism. Even with chilvary there's give-and-take, for example girls sometimes even claim to have to harder than men. Men who are chilvarous expect a woman to "act" like a woman, by dressing girly, doing her hair, nails, and make up. There are exceptions where there are men who don't like the girl to have any make up on, but yet if he is chilvarous, then he still expects her to be "submissive"(ordering around, cooking, cleaning, arranging).

Some don't see the chivalry idea as "unequal" either, some see it as 50-50 since the man has certain responsibilites and the woman does too. I currently like chilvarly because I just have it in my nature to enjoy cooking, cleaning, and arranging for the benefit of someone else. Alot of girls don't want that though.

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I thought chivalry was protecting women when they did need it, not about women saying men protect them all the time and make us seem controlling. If she needs it she does, if she doesn't she doesn't, it doesn't make what we did to protect her any more or less valid in intent or effect. How are men even able to protect when women don't need it? When the danger comes, are we still supposed to not do anything so you can take care of yourself? Everything is a double edged sword, one minute we are being polite, and another it is controlling. Being polite is seen as polite, so how is being chivalrous not seen as chivalrous? If a man is controlling in that type of relationship, then he is not being chivalrous, it is that simple. So make up your minds, is he being chivalrous, OR controlling, you don't have to encourage his behavior by telling him he is chivalrous if he is being a dick, so why are we even talking about this?

If a man runs for his live without protecting the woman he would be called a coward for the rest of his life, mostly by women.

If a man acts chivalrously and risks his life to protect the woman, he would be called misogynist, mostly by women.

Men can never win .