What does it mean when a woman doesn't return compliments

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but still wants to see you?

I have to admit that the compliments are given via text message/facebook, so maybe they don't carry as much weight. I start off this way because of the anxiety I get over choosing the right way to phrase the compliments makes it very difficult to do it face-to-face, and once I've opened up via text it becomes easier.

The last few times I did this the girls told me they weren't interested (something to that effect) and gave me no compliments in return. I know they weren't creeped out because we still talk and work together, but I remain clueless if I did or didn't say something wrong, or why they aren't attracted to me. Even though it hurts my ego a bit, I can understand that they don't want to give the message that there's still any kind of hope for that kind of relationship.

However this time the girl in question said she was moved (best translation possible), didn't give me any compliments in return and offered to help with my studies. She's an "experienced" NT so to speak, so it's not a matter of shyness. I don't understand if she's doing this so we can stay good friends or if she expects me to pick up what I started online in real life.

I'm honestly fine about staying friends with her, I truly do care for her. But I also want more and don't know where to go from here.

It sounds like she was genuinely trying to help you and it would be best and healthier to move on.

I don't think trading compliments is necessarily the norm and have never seen people do that outside of television ("I like your shoes!" "Tee-hee, thanks! I like your hair!"), except if they're actually talking about something and not just flattering.

When I compliment a girl and there is some mutual attraction flying around they usually say something along the lines of "You're not so bad yourself."

Kinda cute I guess.

I should point out that she's going out of her way to help me this time, it's not a matter of meeting up in the usual place. And she gave the idea.

(can you tell I'm using wishful thinking)

You probably shouldn't read anything into it. It's not unusual for people not to return compliments.

I think that many people are embarrassed by compliments even when they find them flattering.

If the same girl returns everyone else's complements, then you might have something to worry about it. If that is the case, then she might not be at all interested in you but is too polite to say so.

I wouldn't read too much into it, but you never know she might be getting to know you first.
So meet up with her during this time and sure, be a little playful but don't go too far off the beaten track from what you're meeting up to do.

People don't always return compliments.

Gosh, I almost never give or return compliments. For whatever reason it feels fake to me. When I recieve one I generally presume it's just a cover to get something from me, and get really defensive. On th eother hand, I'll note things, and comment, like saying 'Oh, you have a new haircut' or whatever, but I don't comment on it beyond that.

What are you complimenting these women on? With these compliments, are you giving them and hoping for a reaction?

It varies, I call them the portuguese equivalent of "cute" or tell them I really like a few of their personality traits, like their sense of humor, sometimes a mixture of both

I take it most people here just ask/get asked out of the blue then? I always thought it would be common sense to say at least something as trite as "I like your jacket" before asking someone out

JanuaryMan: I found your comment the most helpful. It's a shame I kind of suck at this playful/flirting thing (like most people here I assume). I'll try my best without trying too hard then haha (I have a tendency to overthink this stuff)

I 'see' your compliment and raise you a compliment and a comment about the weather!

I agree with eric76, taking compliments graciously isn't only an aspie issue.

They may even be thinking, "What does he want?!" as if you have ulterior motives.

I used to know one guy who could complement people in such a way that it did not appear that he was directing it at them at all.

For example, one Sunday afternoon, three of us walked into a restaurant in Beeville, Texas. As we were sitting down, the waitress was only about ten feet behind us and Larry said "Did you check out that great looking waitress?" She really loved the comment.

Another time we went to a concert being given by an old friend of mine, Robert Keen, at a place in Houston called Anderson Fair. During a break, we were standing out in the entrance hallway and looking at some pictures on the wall. He pointed to a picture and said something like, "If you ever get a chance, go listen to this girl sing. She is really good." A minute later, we turned around and saw her, Nanci Griffith, sitting on a sofa about five feet away grinning from ear to ear.

I always wondered if he did that on purpose or if it was an accident.

Oh. You're supposed to return compliments?


I always thought it would seem sort of insincere, to give a compliment right back after someone says something to me. I guess I have returned compliments but rarely, and only when I was really feeling it.

your supposed to just accept the compliment then return one in the next 5 lines of conversation otherwise its disengenous...
also sometimes compliments dont feel like them..
i used to be sarcastic as a mechanism off keeping people away so when i make a compliment people totally didnt get it..