Left broken-hearted

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How it all happened was odd... that is, it came unexpectedly, and somehow now fizzled out unexpectedly too... and without any reason, he says very little and has problems expressing himself, but he simply said that he doesn't feel any love for me any more.

This was a guy that messaged me out of the blue - here, in fact (he's an aspie too - could this be why this happened so abruptly and seemingly without a reason?) - and after chatting constantly for a week we made the unusually rash choice to live together. Well, I was going insane through a combination of loneliness and college-based stress, and he said he was really lonely too, so it was mutually beneficial... and we seemingly got really fond of each other in that week of chatting.

We seemed to get along well after he arrived too, but he often got frustrated and wanted to be alone for a bit... and since then had what seemed to be random bouts of depression, but I'm kind of thinking they were simply indicative of his losing interest. Apparently, he's been feeling this for some time but kept it mostly to himself, and often tried to cheer himself up despite of his waning love (or so he claimed, although he still very much enjoyed sex).

Now, a month and a half ago or so he began volunteering for most of the time on this one day, and then a couple of weeks later he began a course which more resembles a full-time job... so he's around people all day, and it can be fun. He told me he wanted to move out just after he went living with this group for five days in Wales, exploring caves and whatnot... and then, as he said, the contrast between that experience and living here was quite great. So, I'm thinking that this is due to his not being lonely anymore (but the course finishes in a couple of months, it's not forever, and unless he does get a full-time job I doubt he'll have as much company all day around him - and a job isn't usually as fun)...

Due to this I'm going to be left more lonely than ever before, and I'm not sure I can handle it. Sometimes I wonder whether suicide would be better, since the likelihood that my situation improves now is... not very likely. A guy (who I happened to be really attracted to) randomly messaging me online must already be very rare in itself, and I never thought it could happen to me... but it's unlikely to happen twice in a row. Also, even if I try to 'date' anyone (and I don't think I'd like that concept in itself, and in a way deciding to immediately live together was better) I'm not sure they'd be able to handle my neurotic personality... I thought this guy was accepting of it (as I tried with his depression), but I've no idea what happened.

He's still living here until he finds another place (although he said that he "can't be arsed" to look for places online, he just passively waits on a person connected to his course to help him)... but he doesn't want me in the same room and he wouldn't even give me a hug now. If I try to stroke him he gets violent (even though we did much more than that in the last six months)...

Your profile says male.

Is this gay love? Or are you a girl?

The former.

never give up. there are other guys out there. it may take a while, but you will most likely find someone.

moving in so quickly is generally a really bad idea. the person could have turned out to be physically abusive and you'd have been in a bad situation. domestic violence prevention counselors suggest knowing someone for six months before moving to commitment. some warning signs are derogatory comments and over-jealousy.

This guy is reminding me of some of the warning signs for abusive relationships. They start strangely, get really intense really fast, and then turn bad. Maybe he messaged you strangely not because he's Autistic, but because he's a sociopath or psychopath or some other kind of abuser and saw you as a good target. You said he gets violent too--this is NOT okay. Is this your own apartment? You CAN kick him out--and I think you should.

...how come every time someone has a legitimate problem and also happens to have a gender that people don't expect SOMEONE has to go on there and ask? I, for one, am getting tired of having to explain my gender every time I need help. It's almost always irrelevant and unnecessary. Asking ISN'T helping.

(sorry if this turns out to be mean; I'm kind of in a bad mood because of my period and medicine withdrawal and gender dysphoria)

Well, violent in the sense that he tries to get me off him with all possible means, he never became randomly violent (well, except with himself sometimes). And, yeah, I guess I can ask him to leave (since that's what he purportedly wants to do, although I initially nearly had a mental breakdown over the issue) but I wouldn't want him to be homeless - I do, unfortunately, still feel affection towards him, although it's not mutual (well, he says he still cares about me, but not more than that).

When we first met I seriously believed we were soulmates...