"Dream Girl"

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I am having a hard time with this. Either I am too liberal or too demanding, and I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want. I know I want a decently attractive girl, but I am not too picky as far a specific look or what. But on the other hand, I want someone who will understand me for who I am, and does not necessarily have to wear the pants in the family. I also want someone who doesn't mind me ranting about whatever subject I am on. Perhaps sharing similar or converging interests would be good. I think that this comes back to bite me in the butt. Since I don't have much of a criteria looks wise, I hit on a lot of girls, which leads to abysmal results. But the problem I think is personality. I tend to be reserved (although I am trying to bit on girls more and be more friendly to people), and I tend to usually talk about intellectual things, but around my other friend I can crack a dumb joke, in the vein of Bill Hicks, Doug Stanhope, George Carlin. But I tend to be that way around him, since much of my stuff is politically incorrect. I like jazz, rap, rock, and foreign. I am interested in baseball, fishing, writing, finance, radical politics (agorism), libertarianism, economics, stock trading, walking, comedy, sports memorabilia, business, history, philosophy, electronics, programming, and learning. I am entrepreneurial very dedicated to what I do, more reserved, but if I get to know you, I tend to be very open. I tend to be very conservative about things.

So having said all this, I need help. How do I determine what my dream girl looks like (not just looks wise). On one hand, I don't expect most girls to understand what agorism is, let alone practice it, thus that eliminates many of my interests that I can discuss. So I tend to hit on girls based upon looks. Any thoughts?

What's wrong, no Malaysian Harems in your area? Seeing as how that hasn't been working for ya, how about finding a girl and treating her like a human being and not a succubus just because she won't let you touch her boobies? That would be a start at least..........

The only way to get to know people by personality is by being exposed to them, and while there are mixed-results options like online dating or interest groups I think there are other possibilities for you. You say you hit on a lot of girls, so it sounds like you're comfortable socializing extensively and possibly even with being turned down. Leave the flirting for later and talk to some of these girls on a more personal level to see if your personalities mesh, it's not that unusual in some public places.

He's not comfortable with being turned down. He resents women who turn him down and blames them for "turning him into a misogonist." He needs an attitude adjustment before he can even begin to make progress.

It might help if you could use spell check . But as far as harems, no, I don't plan on it any time soon. But as far as the attitude adjustment, it's hard. I have never had a "permanent base", I have moved around a lot, never felt accepted. In addition, I am living with my grandparents, haven't been able to find a job, my father passed, and I have not been able to get as many friends. In all reality, I just want maybe a couple friends, a girlfriend, and a decent job (even if it is a low paying one). But it seems that in order to get a girlfriend, you have to just through a bunch of f*****g hoops just to even get a shot. I have tried several dating sites, gone to several groups, try to volunteer, and even see if there would be support for certain groups, and I keep getting turned down. Where are the cute smart girls? Am I an oddity that no one wants to hang out with?

And to answer you, I have been trying that, but I can't find anyone I can relate to. It feels like I am a Frankenstein, since I am serious, and tend to talk about intellectual thing. And to retort the other poster, I am f*****g trying, that is why I am asking this question.

See, that's just it. You're trying. Don't try. You don't have to try. Just do what you would already do, and if you meet a girl, great, and if you don't, keep looking into your interests.

It seems like most of your interests are things you can study on your own time, things that don't change much and are more or less static. Girls change, and you have to keep up. Not for her sake, not because its what you think she wants, but because two people change together. It's not employment, its commitment. Commitment is mutual, employment is one-way. Its not a science; there's no right or wrong way to care about someone. Some people are too demanding, so those gals aren't for you. (Those women aren't for me either) So instead of looking for a girlfriend, look for friends of all types. Maybe one friendship will grow. But its not about "success". It's about life, and just living.

I've found your Dream girl!!

Absolutely! She can mindmeld with me anytime.........

You do have some criteria that isn't looks-based. I'll pick it out of your post:

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I bolded the crucial bits.

Basically you are looking for a girl who is very passive. She will let you ramble or rant on any topic and will not try to divert you or be horrified by your politically incorrect or conservative opinions. Perhaps she shares those opinions herself. But the important trait she has is passivity. A non-passive girl will tire very quickly of whatever you are saying and will have no patience for you or your quirks. Hitting on girls based on looks is bound to fail since what you are looking for is actually very specific and not looks based.

The odds of this theoretical girl actually sharing your interests while having the personality you hope for is so slim it's not worth focusing on. Your interests are all over the place and you are looking for a girl who will tolerate lectures on them regardless of whether or not they interest her so passivity is more important than finding a girl whose interests overlap with yours.

Last edited by Janissy on 31 May 2013, 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Keep in mind your age and experience levels, I think.

No one (or almost no one) finds their perfect mate right out of the gate. Dating requires practice. At your age just play the field and date different types. There's really no way to know until you get more experience. I don't mean physical experience, I mean experience with different types of personality types.

You are right. I need to chill out. I guess I am just tired of rejection, and I want someone to care. Not to sound like a baby, but I just want to be understood.

My work computer doesn't have a spell check function on my browser and I really don't care about grammer as long as my points are getting accross clearly. In this case, they aren't but I think it has more to do with you than my spelling..........

I have plenty of advice for you but I've given it so many times on this board to various people who don't listen, that it would just feel redundent. If I have the motivation later I may cut and paste some old advice eventually........

Everyone wants to feel understood. Being a teenager isn't easy. The hormones alone add a lot of urgency. Truth is at age 17 you have nothing if not time (ahead of you.)

Start practicing what you preach nd stop shoving what you say down people's throats, then maybe they will listen to you.

Harsh? Yeah. True, though? HELL yeah.

Don't mind me, I'm just sick of people who do this s**t constantly.

My dreamgirl doesn't exist

But there are a couple out there I'd like to live the dream with.