Do you like being told what to do in a relationship?

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This is for aspie men in particular. Do you like your significant other to tell you what to do? Would you prefer she take the initiative in communicating, getting together, organizing social events, calling, etc.?

Personally I prefer that we make decisions together as a couple. I certainly don’t mind women who initiate the first contact, it shows strength, determination, and interests on their part which I really admire.

What I do like is a phone call now and then just to talk about life in general. I also like women are honest and open. It’s nice when someone at the end of a first date can at least tell me that she is interested in seeing me again or just says “you know I don’t think we are a good match.”

I like being told what is expected of me.

What I do not like is being expected to try to initiate things that my partner wants to do without being told what that is. That is the same thing as being expected to read somebody's mind. I think it is very unattractive because it seems to show not even the most basic theory of mind, in that it doesn't seem to occur to the person that other people do not automatically feel the same way that she does, and it comes across as cheap false modesty in that she doesn't tell other people what she wants, but expects it anyways.

I also do not like it when it is expected of me never to try to initiate anything that my partner doesn't like, especially when it is in conjunction with being expected to initiate things that she does like. Again, it is unreasonable to expect me to read minds, and it is equally unreasonable to expect that I will participate in a relationship in which I am not allowed to express my desires.

I like a girl who is sociable, but no I don't like being told what to do and what we are doing all the time.

If you are a member of a certain patriarchal religious organization ...

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." -- Ephesians 5:22-24

Clear enough? If you are a Christian of any sect, it is your husband - not you - who should be in charge.

Whether you like it or not!

[quote="Fnord"]If you are a member of a certain patriarchal religious organization ...

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." -- Ephesians 5:22-24

Clear enough? If you are a Christian of any sect, it is your husband - not you - who should be in charge.

Whether you like it or not![/quote

for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. I Cor 13:12 Bid slaves to be submissive to their masters. Titus 2:9 paul was leaving room for the human race to learn something in 2000 yrs., like slavery and misogyny are bad.

I have 20 IQ points on my husband. he wisely, therefore, defers to me on many issues. he is an NT, so I ask his advice on social issues. we don't follow any artificial, rigid rule. it is working out well for both of us.

inequality breeds resentment. resentment kills what is best in a relationship.

I prefer equality in the relationship. I feel that if my girlfriend tells me what to do all the time (or if I were to tell her what to do all the time), it devalues the relationship as it makes it too one-sided. We make decisions together, if one treats the other then they'll be treated in future etc. I think it makes the relationship stronger as there's a mutual respect, and with that, mutual love

being told, no, that is a bit too much inequality for me.
however, i do like getting unsubtle hints, those make is a lot easier for me to live alongside other people (this extends to any interaction, including school projects and college accomondations)

i can not be told what to do. i can be asked, and if i see no reason to deny a request, then i will fulfill it, but i will not do anything that i do not want to do.

Hell no!...unless she tells me to have sex and Im already in the mood for sex then that would be a yes!

I had a friend tell me that she prefers a partner that takes charge. Funny thing is I was the one that made the final decisions in which we did when we were hanging out before she left. There were others involved in hanging out with us, but I was always the one that decided what to do based on the options presented in front of me. I was also the one that was driving the car too which helped the decision making process

I can assure you that any girl I have been around that told me what she expected and what she wanted from me was likely only using me. When her intentions became more clear, I found out that there was *gasp* an ex still in the picture.

For intimacy and physical aspects I probably need the other to initiate, so that I know it's okay and to make the relationship boundaries clear.

I think this would make it easier for me to initiate later. Even if I'm interested and thinking about it, I'm not likely to make the first move.

It's hard for me to know because I've been quite withdrawn socially for such a long time. Gave up a few years ago. Maybe I could do better these days than I give myself credit for.

Can't answer whether or not I like it as I haven't experienced it.

Told what to do, no. However, I am terrible at making desicions, in anything from breakfast cerial to choosing college classes, so once I have narrowed down my options (or we, our, depending on what deiions are to be made), I appreciate all the help I can get to actually make a choice. Also, I do need a nudge to get going with household chores, among other things.

Told what to do and taking charge are two different things. When I clicked this, I thought you'd ask like being controlled, as in you HAVE to do this, you have to go here or I won't love you anymore etc etc.

Taking charge, like, planning activities etc, I can do it but I prefer it be mutual. I don't want to make my mind up on every single thing, eat here, this day, go here, see this movie. People who always say "I don't know what to do, you think of something" is actually a bit annoying.