Why do women keep lying to me

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Okay I have noticed one thing on online dating and it has gotten to the point where I want to give up. The only women who ever talk to me are completely messed up. They never tell me the truth. This last one I asked three different times if we could meet fo coffeee and she kept making up lise but continued to talk to me. Now here profile has been deleted. Huh?!

Why do I keep getting scammed or lied to. I hate this and I am ready to just cry. Why are these women doing this to me. A simple not interested would be great so then I can move on. But to string me along with conversations. I just do not understand this. I mean this is beyond just rejection these women seriously are selfish and have no feelings. Either that or they are too afraid to reject me. I mean why are they so afraid to reject me. Most of them just string me along and then in the end they either disappear or they lie to me. There is no reason for them to do this unless the have some kind of vendetta or something.

Why do women keep leading me on. They are evil and only want to cause pain and suffering on me. I know there are decent women out there but where are they? The only ones that are decent are just friends and it never leads anywhere.

I am at the end of my rope. I am 33 years old, attractive, and interesting. Most women either ignore or scam me or use me or lie to me. What gives here?

Do I just have to keep talking to new ones until one of them clicks. How do I know what is going on online when I have no idea if the person I am talking is real or is telling the truth. I think the last woman I talked was lying about everything. I stopped sending her messages after the third attempt to go out for coffee. And now her profile is deleted.

What the heck is going on here?

Oh my, shame on those women! It's obvious to me that you need a kind and considerate (not to mention honest) woman in your life. Life can be very difficult for a lot of us.
I have a suggestion for you: how about instead of asking women to go out for coffee, how about learning a bit about them first, then tell them a bit about yourself and see where that goes. Take baby steps.
Are the women that you're searching for autistic? If not, try autistic women. It is very well known that two people with autism make very good couples.

Sorry, dude. If someone isn't able to meet after asking once or twice and they're not just wary it's best to write them off for a date. It's hard to be sure what's going on behind the interaction, and no one needs the hassle of trying to figure it out when there's more potential matches out there. I think it's best to never put too much stock into conversations on dating sites until you've established real interest, but I know that's easier said than done.

I know a lot of people create fake profiles on dating sites, men included, just to mess around and see what it's like to be the other gender, more attractive, less attractive, etc. I can't help but wonder if it just winds up pissing everyone off more.

That's why I stay the hell away from online dating sites, no matter what my IRL situation is looking like.

ANYWAY, it saddens me that there are people who have had a good amount of experience in life, yet they aren't given the chances to finding love. It really makes me wish I could do something about it...

It would never work. He's almost twice your age.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM[/youtube]

Well I did talk to her for about two weeks and did get to know her as much as you could in an online setting. I did not just ask her out for coffee in the beginning. lol.

Honestly I have heard advice where they tell you to keep the conversation very light and only plan for actually meeting and leave the conversation for when you meet. But I feel that I should talk to them a little first and get to know them a little bit before a coffee date. Honestly I was not really asking her on a formal date. I mean just meeting for coffee for 30 mins and then from there planning an actual real date after meeting for the first time. Is this a bad idea?

Also I was completely not pushy about it at all. I asked three times over a two week period. Not every single day. The second time I asked I did not talk to her for 3 days but she never contacted me until I sent a message to her. Every time I talked to her I had to initiate. kind of odd really.

Then after asking the third time I stopped talking to her because I was moving on. I was done with it and I honestly accepted it but I went on Okcupid today and I saw that her picture was gone. I clicked on it and it said the profile was gone. Is it possible that my lack of contact was a sign that I was not interested? I think I have a tendency to do this because I am trying not to come across as pushy or desperate. I have a tendency to be very direct and overbearing so I was trying to give her space and not initiate contact everyday. I think I did well but maybe I backed off too much?

It seems it is almost a balancing act of not coming on too strong and not backing off too much. I honestly thought I waited long enough before asking her out for coffee. Two weeks seems long enough to me. I mean the last woman before we started talking about meeting after two weeks and we ended up meeting but then the date got cut off after 45 minutes because she had a crisis which I think was a smokescreen but I am not sure.

I think you just described the problem - you are trying to be their friend before their boyfriend.
That's not what dating sites are about. They are about going in for the kill and tying up loose ends later (the opposite order of what it is you and most of us Aspie guys in this forum wish to achieve).

If I were you, I'd make it clear in your profile in the coolest way possible you prefer to get to know someone first before dating, else dating sites are only going to disappoint you and lead you to making more of these sorts of threads on WrongPlanet. Alternatively, if this does not suit you I would suggest what I suggest to many others and that is to get involved in activity or meetup groups that relate to something you are passionate about.

So basically I should be pushing them from the beginning? I think that would just be unattractive especially when I do it. Most women I talk to end up getting squirlly if I do that. You have to be really smooth and I am not all that smooth and I am terrible at flirting unless they start and I actually pick up on it. It is hard online to detect it sometimes.

I think it all depends. I mean I am sure there are a number of different types of people on dating sites that looking for different types of relationships. I mean you can indicate what you are interested in. I have tried to go in for the kill but then they just get creeped out or they start avoiding me.

I mean I make it clear that I am interested in a long term relataionship and that friendship is okay first. Honestly I want to go the route of being friends and then trying to go that route to the relationship. I mean I am not really understanding about how relationships start.

So how do I get to date them and get to know them I am kind of confused about this whole thing. One person tells me to get to know them first the others say if you do that you will only be friends. Am I missing something here? I mean most good relationships that last are built on friendship. One of my female frineds is like this. The guy she dated for three she knew him as a friend first. It can work.

I mean it seems I do not have the skill in making women interested in me sexually. I mean I just am not understanding how it works. I am not the most confident and I have a tendency to be nice and not all gung ho and manly.

I want a woman who appreciates a more down to earth man than some Alpha male. I am not alpha and never will be and I am somewhat okay with that. I am much more of a gentle person around women. I mean I would have a hard time getting physical with them unless I felt very comfortable. I am not into anything fast.

I am going to look into some aspie groups and aspie activities through the Aspergers Association of New England. They have quite a few regular groups and also activity groups. Maybe that is a good idea. I would like to date a woman with AS actually. I think it would be a little easier and they would have more understanding. I mean I like shy women a lot and ones that are more introverted. I would like being able to make them feel more comfortable and become a little more social. So yeah I generally want women are even more reserved than me because I am not all that shy actually just a little introverted. I am not that uncomfortable around people when I know them well. I know I have a lot of qualities that a woman finds attractive. For one thing I am an extremely artistic and musician type Mainly guitar and I also am a 3d artist looking for work in the Video Game Industry.

For your information, I was not suggesting that I go out with him and stuff. I'm well aware that he's in his 30s. I was just being the sympathetic sweetheart I can be.

Okay ... I'm sorry.



Really.

It is not all that bad. I just have not put enough effort into meeting someone. I went on a 8 year hiatus until I got up the courage to start trying again. I know if I just have confidence and put myself out there it will happen. I am pretty optimistic that I will find the one for me however long it takes. It is not easy but i cannot completely give up.

I think the lesson I am finally learning is not to put all my eggs in one basket. If someone is not interested move on. No use crying over spilt milk. I mean there people that just are not interested in you. It is a reality that everyone has to deal with.

Thanks everyone for the support. I appreciate it.

I wish you could see how proud I am that you realized that. Really, I am proud of you

My gosh, I love your way of apologizing! That kitty is so adorable!! ! And apology accepted

How do you KNOW they're women?
Could be some guys trying to scam or be mean or weird. Or bored.