Advice for Aspie girls

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So, I have incredibly bad luck with guys.. I have had one relationship about 6 years ago (when I was about 24) but it didn't last long and it was a pretty crappy experience all round. I really struggle to form connections with people and this was with someone who had been my friend for many years and I think we were both just so bad at relationships that we figured we should try going out with each other.

Anyway, now I would like to try getting into relationships again (it took me the better part of the last 5 years to get to this stage) but I get the impression that guys are all looking for skinny, attractive girls who wear lots of makeup and are a little dense. That's an exaggeration, of course, because there are lots of ordinary people in relationships, but it is how I feel and I'm not like that. I'm pretty overweight, I don't wear makeup and I'm a complete gamer/nerd - and I work from home so I don't have much social contact anyway. On top of that, I'm emigrating to Germany in a few months, so it's not something I want to work on here (South Africa). Anyway, here I am a total outsider - I don't speak any of the languages and don't share the same background as the people here, and the focus on race here is insane - I dated an Indian (i.e. from India originally) and that was really breaking the norm here. I guess it is a bit better now than 10 years ago though.

I'm not really sure how to phrase this as a question but are there any guys or girls out there who can give some advice? I feel pretty discouraged at the moment.

Too bad you're emigrating to Germany.

I wanted to introduce you the wp member Jono from South Africa: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums-profi ... 20500.html

He's smart, cultured, well articulate and I've never seen him cursing or being inappropriate even in the most heated debates, and he seems to be into the intellectual/nerd type.

Jono lives in Jo'burg too, doesn't he?

Whereabouts in Germany are you moving to?

And why are you fleeing South Africa, if I may ask?

@The face of Boo - we have already virtually met BUT as I said race is a huge issue in South Africa and although I didn't ask him directly, I don't think people in his racial group tend to go out with people in mine. If I read the situation correctly he is Afrikaans, and I am black, and not to stereotype or anything but they tend go for people in their own racial group. Plus I'm English-speaking, that just adds to the antagonism. Jono, if you read this, no offence intended, but I'm SURE as a fellow South African, you know exactly what I mean!!

@Tequila - Moving to Münster, and I'm moving because I want to go and study there (new degree in Maths and Physics), but to cut a long story short, as a non-EU student, I can't work freelance and study so I have to work there for a few years first. Studying is possible here but ridiculously expensive, and the cost of living isn't that different. Plus I work as a Japanese and German to English medical translator so I'll have better opportunities there than here for SURE!

Pfft... it's a bit stupid to say "Not to stereotype or anything" because that's a massive stereotype.

I don't have an issue with the "race thing" - I've just lived here long enough to have tried several options and found that they have failed. I have asked other Afrikaans guys out and the responses were pretty bone chilling. The only guy I dated was Indian, so obviously I'm not that strict about who I want to date.

On the other hand, assuming that two people will be compatible based purely on their geographical location is probably not the best way to go about answering a question that is asking advice based on physical characteristics. I didn't come here looking for a boyfriend, I asked a question because I wanted points of view, not to be set up with someone I don't know on the basis that we have the same medical condition [edit: and live in the same city]. Irrespective of how he may feel about the issue, that was not the point at all. Here I am making up excuses on behalf of someone I don't know when the reality of the situation is that I feel that you are missing the point.

As for Germany - I'm moving there because I want to study there and build my career - as I don't have much of a social life anyway, I doubt that's going to change very much when I am over there. Having said that, considering that I can communicate better with people there than I can with people here, that might play a huge role (here there are very few people who speak English as a first language, and as I said, my German is good enough that I work as a translator, so I'll be able to communicate with more people there).

^ fair enough.

As a biracial girl, I am SOO glad I´m not from South Africa I´ve talked to several South Africans and all I hear is racism racism taboo blablla all the time...