curious about this situation

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I have a crush on my flat mate. We started to get a friendly, and I made a lot of effort with him. We're both into gaming, reading and lots of other things, this is the main reason I started to like him a lot, and I find him attractive.

Anyway, one evening we had a drink together, we ended up getting pretty drunk and started kissing, although he kinda backed out on sex. He said he got really uncomfortable and embarressed during sex. We feel asleep, but the next morning when we were sober, he started kissing me again and we did have sex.

The next day, I asked to hang out with him, we watched some YouTube videos together and then he said he was getting tired, I asked for a kiss and he said that he didn't regret what happened with us, but he didn't want it to turn into a relationship. I was quite dissapointed, but had to accept it.

He later told me, he's never been in a relationship (he's 30 years old BTW I'm 25) and his only sexual exriences have been a few one night stands. And he has a lot of intimacy issues.

I guess I'm just a little confused with him. I am understanding of him having intimacy issues, do you think someone would avoid relationships entirely to avoid sex? And why would someone fear sex so much? Also does intimacy issues include fear of being emotionally hurt?

I guess I should forget about it, I still really like him regardless, but I'm try in to move on.

From what I've read, a lot of aspies seem to have a fear of under performing during sex.

Thanks for the response. I am unsure if he is aspie too, But I kind of feel like he may be. He generally spends time with people younger than him. He's pretty akward, and seems to have some problems with eye contact. He's really into gaming, cosplay and comic books. He likes to spend a lot of time alone too. Honestly I feel like we'd be really great together, but I feel like I may have scared him off with being too forward I think I might have given him the impression that I am some kind of nyphomaniac, which is not true, it's just that I find it hard to know how to impress a guy and what men want, so I guess I assumed that was a way I could win him over.
I honestly don't care about the sex much ( although I did enjoy it), I just want to be with him and make him happy, do you think my chance is over?

Your chance with him is over provided that he has made up his mind on the matter. If he has decided that there will be no relationship, you might not have much of a chance. Granted, he could change his mind, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least bit if it's too late by the time he has made this decision.

There is one thing that does irritate me though. There was a previous flat mate here, and I know his girlfriend, and I sometimes spend time with them. My flat mate (we'll call him Dave) doesn't like the guy and has asked me on several occasions if I have formed an opinion of him. To me, he seems like an OK guy, nothing wrong with him, but dave seemed to get very offended by the idea that I think this guy is fine. What frustrates me, is why does dave care? If he doesn't like me anyway, why does it matter to him who I associate with?

Good luck getting over somebody you're living with.........you'll need it.

Life can be so bittersweet, eh?