Need advice about calling this person

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There's a woman who was my girlfriend for a brief but very happy time a few months ago...she was my first official gf in several years and I've been wanting a relationship that could lead to a future together (and ultimately to marriage) for a long time, and she was the first to talk to me about those things, so I am hesitant to let go of the situation.

She didn't so much "break up" with me as put things on hold because of other difficulties in her life and family and needing time to deal with them. In our last conversation that was specifically about "us," she said that she still loves me and hopes I'll still be around when she's ready, although she's not asking me to wait only because she says that wouldn't be fair. Still, I haven't been looking for someone else because I am still hopeful that it will work with her.

That conversation was at the beginning of the separation though, and my tendency is to assume that if anything had changed she would have told me, but I know that thinking that way has gotten me hurt in the past. Also, friends are starting to tell me I should get clarification or give up.

So I'm planning to call her today, but I'm worried about what to say and how to not make it worse, which I sometimes seem to do without meaning to. I haven't been completely honest about how much I miss her because I don't want her to think I'm desperate, but I think she needs to know so she won't lead me on. I do believe she's much too kind to knowingly do that.

We have been in contact since the conversation, just not about the topic of "us." Also, we live in different cities so it's been awhile since we've seen each other face to face. Does anyone have advice on how to approach this? Please don't tell me to just give up and move on. I need to at least try to talk to her first.

If you are still in touch, do you know if her issues has been resolved, or if she is still working on them? If things are better in her life, I would try to talk to her. I mean gently 'feel the water', not in any interrogation-style manner.

I would lead with something like 'I miss you. I miss [insert romantic or intimate memory].'
If she responds in kind, you could ask something like 'Do you think we will find a way to get that back again?'

And then go from there.

Well, I do know that her issues are ongoing but the last conversation made it seem like she just needed a little time. I have to admit I'm very scared to start off with romantic memories! Even though I want to make it clear that I still want to be with her and establish whether she still sees us together at some point anywhere in the near future, I think that would make me feel really vulnerable because what if she gets scared off and just doesn't answer?

What about something like 'I miss you. Do you think we could meet up again soon and have coffee/whatever.' Then you are not exposing yourself too much, but still clear that you have an emotional desire to see her.

Well, I have been trying to do basically that. We live in separate (but close, in the sense that you could drive between them in a day) cities, so just casually meeting up for coffee is not a thing that can happen. I have now twice (well, technically three times, but one time I didn't have a lot of extra time) been passing through her city and contacted her and made tentative plans to get together which have fallen through, but she always had a good reason, seemed disappointed not to be seeing me, and talked about how we would make it happen soon. I think if she were trying to avoid me or blow me off she would not say those things. However it's come to a point where I really need to talk to her, so I'm planning to just try to do it over the phone. Another thing is that when I was in her city I didn't make it known that I arranged my travel around having time to see her, again so I wouldn't seem desperate, so she might not know just how much I was looking forward to it or how disappointed I was when it didn't happen.