Getting Married in a Few Days

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So, I'm getting married in a few days and everyone keeps telling me that marriage changes a relationship. Now, I've loved my fiance since we first started dating and each day I feel like I have a harder and harder time imagining myself without her. I know that marriage is a serious commitment (and one that I plan to hold in absolute permanency), but I guess I don't see how walking down an aisle, saying some words and acquiring a new piece of jewelry will change all that much. But, of course, people keep saying that it'll be different and that's confusing me...
Anyone who's married: Does the relationship really change? If so, how so?

I hope it goes well and that you will have many happy years together.

ours didn't change.

It's just a label. It has no power other than what you ascribe to it.

There is a subtle change in the relationship, even if it isn't done for strictly religious reasons. I think it's the recognition from society which does have a subtle effect, believe it or not. If it didn't, people wouldn't be fighting for marriage equality right now.

Congrats!

From everything I know I would have to say that the biggest change is legal status. Also SSI and SSDI benefits are affected and many other legal things related to government. Society's view of your relationship changes too.

I was with my boyfriend for 10 years, we were very committed to each other and loved each other very much. Though I referred to him as my boyfriend he was more of a fiancee in that we were planning to get married or sign legal documents some day.

Well, on Feb 6th 2013 he passed away from a heart attack. Since we were not married I had no legal rights in anything. To make matters worse only his brother who also has AS knew about me and our relationship. Luckily my mom made me talk to his mom and things have been going fairly well. Oh, I should mention that there is property and 2 different wills and a bunch of other stuff going on. If we had been married things would have been much clearer, though I still would have followed his mother's wishes.

Life is short and we should try to enjoy the journey. I hope a long and fairly happy journey to you both

Beth Koenig

I've yet to be married, but I'll bet NT's are the ones telling you it will change everything, because they have strong emotional reactions to the ceremony and symbolism. I'd wager that Aspies come out on the other side unchanged more often than not.

My biggest problem with marriage, other than the whole gathering of people thing, is the title change. Girlfriend is so much sexier a word than wife. Husband is none too alluring, aesthetically, either.

I think it depends. In earlier times, people started to live with each other together only after marriage. That means a deep responsibility for both, because you started sharing everything, means financial stuff, debts for a home, ...

Nowadays people normally start doing that before marrying. So you have already decided then to share everything with you, the good and bad stuff. I live with my partner now for 14 years, we renewed the house, we share our financial stuff...so we did that desicion among us a long time ago. For us marrying was simply a (for me drwoning) celebrity with family a friends. Additional around here, marrying usually means that you decided to become children, so you marry to receive the law protection for your kids. That doesnt sound very romantic, but still the cause behind the marriage, the desicion for children is something very romantic, because it means a really deep thrust between the partners.

So what your marriage depends, is simply upon you both. One week before marriage, when my partner and I was fully fed up with things we needed to prepare and anything, we made each other a wonderful commitment: So we were deeply issued because of the celebration itself...but none of us both did even miss a single bothered thought about being bound by law to us each other as partners, because this we both had decided years ago, and there was nothing we feared about that. For us it was simply a (goddamn -.-) huge celebration with friends and family we had to prepare.

when my husband and I were dating he had to leave due to visa issues and there was a very good possibility he wouldn't have been able to come back due to the borders closing practically(this was right after 9/11). The only way to get him back in the country that we could easily do was get married. So we did and it was a really hard time for both of us as he had to get a work permit and we literally had a mountain of forms to fill out. It did change our relationship....in that we were inseparably bound to each other and had to go deal with immigration.