Explain FWB to me please.

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FWB: Friends with benefits


I know the obvious part. Friends that have sex. But what would you expect beyond the sex part. Would there be affection outside of the sex part? Holding hands? Hugging? etc.

Trying to figure out this weird thing I have going on. He said he doesn't want anything serious, but if I interpret his actions correctly, they say otherwise. Then again maybe it's just to keep it going on. Help?

My understanding is FWB is where they are just friends in public, and there is no romantic dating, but in private at your or their place there may be consensual sex.
Most people can't manage this, as either the friendship fades and the benefits is no longer sustainable, or the feelings grow and it turns into a relationship.
There would be no showing of affection in public, or in the company of friends, and it would be a deal breaker if one or the other party told others about the scenario.
Usually there would be little or no showing of affection outside of the sex, though this may depend on the individuals.
I'd recommend you bail; the emotional minefield you have to navigate through is not worth the sex, nor the less than satisfactory friendship, that may feel a bit contrived after a while, as one or both of you maintains it only for convenience.

It's a poor substitute for a relationship for commitment phobics.

You hang out with a buddy and occasionally have sex with them.
You aren't an official couple, but get a lot of the same benefits.
Usually the person who develops the feelings is bound to get hurt.

If you don't wear your heart on your sleeve, and need your end away maybe consider it otherwise steer clear.

Thank you. I know it's going down a bad path. Anyway we're not quite friends, he's some guy that I met on okc but told me he is not after anything serious. but when he asks me out it is always like a date and he is complimentary, and very affectionate. And later we have sex. Is it just because he wants the sex to keep going on he does the other things?
I feel like I should know this answer at my age but i haven't really been in relationships before where its been clear that we both want a relationship and thus feelings were ok and showing affection etc was expected/natural.

He likes affection and sex. Nothing unusual there.
If he's not after anything serious he just wants someone to cuddle, and screw

Is possible he gets something out of the affection, without wanting it to be serious.

If you view anything like this as a mental stimulus. As in a certain action or scenario stimulates a part of the brain. Like reward/punishment type of thing.. It is a mutual arrangement to do that (in fact relationships are an extension of that, fundamentally).

Of course there are social conventions, but it far from universal or absolute.

I would ask yourself what you want to get out of it, then you could ask the same of him.

If you're feeling the need to question it to start with - unless you are going through a bad patch that has felt you feeling more insecure than usual - then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Think of it as an early warning system.

Most of those I know in FWB things don't think twice about it. They were friends before, and now they're still friends but have frequent sex with someone they have the advantage of knowing well and might be attracted to. It usually doesn't require any questioning. Unless something has gone wrong, or is going wrong (that is to say, one of the two is either getting too involved, or one is over it and wants it to end).

Best to be honest with yourself and trust your gut at times when you feel the need to ask questions, especially ones like this.

lol that answers my questions thanks.

And thanks to all the other responses, i know it's sage advice. It just sucks how lonely I feel. And if I can whinge for a second, I WISH i could enjoy sex and affection without getting emotionally attached! It's not fair that I have to start agonising over all this crap when I know we're not even right for each other in the big scheme of things. I want to just enjoy the moment like he is but I can't. Need to find someone that's looking for something more serious I guess.

Nope. Can only talk about me, but friends with benefit, changes nothing about the friend status, so no more hand holding or whatever. It simply saves you One night stands with foreigners. Its simply about sex.

If one of you both share more then "friendly" feelings for the opposite, dont even think about it, because it will end in a mess. But if both of you are simply horny, and dont want to meet foreigners or strangers, and have no partners right now, there is nothing bad about it.

I tried it once (well sort of, it was a one night stand with my flat mate) it was recently only a few months ago, but I found out it wasn't for me. To m sex needs emotions to be enjoyable, and I already liked this guy a lot, but when he didn't return the romantic feelings it was just to heartbreaking for me.

So bassially fwb is not about romance at all. You gotta feel nothing towards them except friendship and lust, which is something I personally can't seem to do