Dates and spiking

Post Reply New Topic

I was browsing YouTube comedy vids and somehow ended up with an ABC documentary pushing the question "What would you do if you saw a guy getting his drink spiked?" And have to say I was very disappointed with the results. It seems the guys will never say anything because they're hoping to get the woman spiking the other guy, and the only person who responded was a girl (most likely because the fake date was supposed to be a rich, fairly attractive guy). So very very disappointing!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-57-i1S95Kk[/youtube]

Anyways, after watching this I thought I'd make this thread to discuss:
-Ever been spiked before? Including on a date?
-Do you think this behaviour is common?
-In the dating/friendship world when a group of guys and one woman is involved, why does no one look out for fellow guys? Are they all too busy HOPING he will be removed from the equation and they can get a chance with the girl?
-What did you think of the video?

I have yet to watch the video as I've only just now seen this topic, but..... seriously !?!?!?

So it's like, "Gee... that person seems like a serial rapist or something equally as dodgy (perhaps a murderer ?) .... so hot ! Guess I'd better hit that up before some other guy gets there first !"

Some people are idiots, I look out for my friends.

I'd only every leave my drink alone with my close friends, who I have known for years. Otherwise I'd drink it, take it with me, or leave it alone.

In the video, the actors portray a rich, clueless guy taking a hot, gold-digging girl on a date that openly spikes his drink while he isn't there. But yes, it seems guys are so desperate or care so little about each other that they were happily letting this guy get spiked, using it as a way to break the ice with the waitress in front of them after he leaves, and one guy even went as far as recommending he go to a pharmacist when he saw him getting ill (obviously to get him away from the girl so he could muscle in).

Then again, as much as the woman who actually stepped in to stop the girl spiking that guy's drink seemed sincere, one can't help but wonder if she wanted the rich guy who the blonde girl spiking the drink kept saying was "a catch" for herself.

Anyways, I thought it might be worth posting here for discussion as it's to do with dating sort of. Reason being is IMO (if you see both this video and the original video which is of the guy spiking the girl actor's drink) that people in general can't be trusted and when they aseem like they are doing a good act in or around the dating world it always seems to be with a motive (to appear good to the love interest, to remove competition etc.).

Ever been spiked before, though? I was spiked once when with work staff. A lot of us were it seems. Most of the guys went home, but the girls and say 1 guy stayed on and apparently after that even though they were quite worse for wear because they were also spiked, and the girls got hit on a lot..

I guess it begs the question - do you trust your dates with your drinks? Male or female?

Why would a woman have to spike a guy's drink?

I could imagine a scenario where a naive Asperger's (or any naive) guy who never gets women thinks a hot girl really likes him..he gets spiked, and mugged or beaten up. Or a rich guy gets spiked, doesn't use protection and is consequently trapped in a relationship or giving child support.

But I get what you mean by your answer. Sadly, that answer says it all though doesn't it.

[quote="JanuaryManAnyways] after watching this I thought I'd make this thread to discuss:
-Ever been spiked before? Including on a date?
-Do you think this behaviour is common?
-In the dating/friendship world when a group of guys and one woman is involved, why does no one look out for fellow guys? Are they all too busy HOPING he will be removed from the equation and they can get a chance with the girl?
-What did you think of the video?
///
I guess it begs the question - do you trust your dates with your drinks? Male or female?[/quote]
No, I have not been spiked, in any situation.
I don't think it's a common occurance, but common enough to warrent some care.
I don't see why you wouldn't look out for your friends, regardless of gender.
I can't watch the video since I'm at work....
I would not trust anybody I don't know (well) with my drinks if I'm at a bar. But then, I never go to bars, so I should be safe...

I have been spiked twice. Once when I was 16, at a college party. I got to talking with a guy who feigned being a "gentleman" and fetched me a drink or two. I became very incapacitated, and could not stop myself from vomiting over the side of the balcony. He was "concerned" about me and took me to his apartment a few floors down. He laid me down on his bed, in the dark, and laid down next to me. I was conscious (barely) of what was happening, but literally paralyzed. I heard pounding on the door. I heard him tell my friends that he thought I went home sick. That made me really panic, but I couldn't move or speak. A few minutes later there was pounding on the door again. They'd gone to get two or three guys, who pushed their way in and turned on all the lights. They found me, carried me out, and took me home. I have never been so relieved in my life, or so grateful for having observant friends.

I got spiked again at a bar about a year ago, while having drinks with a friend. This "friend" has been trying to get me into bed for years, and there is something about him I don't trust. I don't know who spiked my drink - him, a bartender, someone else - but I managed to get home on my own. I was stumbling and incapacitated by then, and slept for 15 hours straight. I was relieved, but I felt very violated, thinking of all the horrible things that could have happened.

I don't know if spiking is common, but it has happened to me twice - and ordinarily I have good situational awareness. Two lapses, though, and . . . It makes me feel like I can't let my guard down for a second. If I saw it happening to someone - male, female, whatever - I'd call 911 and be sure the perp got arrested. It's not like they're careful with the dosage, and some of those drugs can kill you.

Spikers are evil and PISS ME OFF.

My compadre was spiked by a woman once, she stole his apartment clean and hurt him physically so that he needed several weeks to recover. Although I know better than to be 100% sure of what I'd do at a certain situation, in that case I'd very likely call the police and stop the woman from leaving. I was curious to explain psychologically why would a majority of men allow something like that to happen, but two are two little to do that. They all just looked like jerks.

-Ever been spiked before? Including on a date?
Yeah, got spiked at a party once when I was in high school and the guys there were in college - wasn't pretty.
Especially since I usually was the responsible one with the duty of getting everyone home - my friend who is usually the irresponsible one had to take me home to hers as soon as she realised what happened.

-Do you think this behaviour is common?
Probably more common here than people would like to think

-In the dating/friendship world when a group of guys and one woman is involved, why does no one look out for fellow guys? Are they all too busy HOPING he will be removed from the equation and they can get a chance with the girl?
In my group, getting another guy of the way is always a plus in normal circumstances, however never at the extent of them being too drunk, too high, or something like spiking happening. Deal would be off and they would all be heading home immediately to make sure said person was ok. They act more like family or brothers than friends in that sense.

not surprising responses. Heck im more surprised the last guy let go of whatever he was reading lng enough to say 'its true, I saw it' and go back to his business.

By the way, the video won't play because the uploader has blocked embedded videos from playing. You have to watch it on Youtube.

That second scenario is rape by the way, at least as much so as if it was a woman who's drink was spiked. However, for some strange reason it isn't considered so by the legal system.

It's called the bystander effect. And they are not friends.

I know people like to think they could've done better in such situations, but you never really know until you've been there. I'm sure some of you have passed seemingly homeless men lying on the ground on the streets ... or did not take the time to pick up dropped groceries for a guy doing some shopping. Or decided not to help a crying little girl who seemed lost and on her own for fear of being charged with pedophilia and because there are a lot of people around anyway.

Unless you were alone or among a small number of people, you are less likely to help a stranger in need or even in danger (if it's not clear that he is in danger).

In this specific case, the guys were spiked and weren't at much risk of being killed. The onlookers subconsciously took this into consideration along with the fact that it was a guy not a woman being spiked and reacted accordingly. For most people, it's more disturbing and scarier to have a woman be spiked than the other way around.

^ I thought as well about the bystander effect, but I don't think there were enough people to apply it properly. Especially in the case of the guy with the book, for all he knew he was the only one who saw it, and the bystander effect requires being aware that other people are also aware. Although when they talked about it and nobody else reacted the bystander effect would apply, as they see nobody else thinks it's a big deal or does anything so they don't either. But to me, joking about it was a bit too much.
Once they leave the venue, anything can happen. She can lead him to his own car or hers, or to an allied taxi (around here some taxi drivers are implicated in such kind of crimes) they could harm him if he resists, and once he's at their mercy there is some risk of desth, too. I actually believe someone having their drink spiked is horrible regardless of gender.
Answering the questions: I've not been spiked, nobody in my social circle has been spiked except for the one I mentioned, who is not one of my peers but my father's age, but it happens often enough in the news. And I always go out with friends, not with acquaintances. We take care of our own, we always leave together, and if someone is too drunk to walk on his own then we support him all the way to the taxi and at least one of us goes to his apartment. if someone gets drunk before the night is over we either put him in a nursery or in a table, and from then on at least one of us must be sitting on that table at any given time. If one of us got spiked and we knew about it, we'd probably leave immediately and get him treatment, we could dismiss it as him being drunk but if the symptoms are different and he complained enough we'd find out. I wonder if this is not the norm for other mostly male groups in my country, or not caring about other guys is s mostly Anglo thing.