Houston, we have a problem...

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Mr Six way to handle my lack of social skills and lack of sense of reality: "you're in the army now. There no comfort zone until you get the hang of how things work. It's the only way you'll be able to learn how to live with others or survive if you are ever alone someday".
I get where that comes from. I know he means well. It's like a survival crash course. It's also something he's doing while being by my side. Yet I don't experience any good reaction on my part so far.

tell mr. six he can only dream up ways to fix you once he has his PhD in psychology. until then, he can concentrate on being a supportive and understanding spouse.

he's thinking like an NT, you can push yourself in other areas and make gains but socially I don't think many aspies have any chance of appearing normal

There are definitely ways the NTs can meet us half way.

I believe he sees Aspies like children that were never pushed by a coach, so that's what he's trying to do.

I don't believe all our worries will be solved if by miracle I become a social superstar. Neither do I wish to break some kind of record.
I don't thinks this is the way.

Home therapy (or so it was intended).

Two playing strategy game in pc: subject A used to it, subject B not so much. Couple wipes dungeons. At a point A decides B should wipe a dungeon alone, which have might work if B had more experience. B runs not to die in game. A says he's been doing the killing the whole time, he was building B's trust. B says A could at least have warned before exiting. A said it was ment to test speed reaction. B did not pass test. A says all in life is atitude and principle. B unable to react after being left alone, unable to talk.

Anyone's thoughts about this?...

No matter how well meaning the motivation, that sounds horrible. In my own experience, being relentlessly driven has a poor outcome.

Is this you want, or are you just trying to please Mr. Six?

I just wanted to play and have some fun together. I didn't realize he had an agenda. The part I name this therapy is me trying to find good cause and a purpose to what was a horrible experience. I know it was just a game but the outcome was emotionally devastating to me.

Don't sugarcoat it then. It sounds like you both may need a talk about what constitutes support. I know I'd be livid in your situation..

At least I'm not talking to myself wondering if things were awfull just because I feel awfull. Thank you for that

He's got the red flag on due to the general status of our situation. It's like he's in siege mode. He'dd give me shots of adrenaline if he could to make me react to things faster and more efectivelly.
The main reaction on my part is to freeze. It causes me pain to have him deal with me like this. It's like a snow ball. Instead of me turning into a super computer, I get dumber by default. The feeling overpowers. Everything I say or do sounds or seems more stupid. That causes him to reinforce the "army standard".

I think he believes in time I should be able to control the emotional response. I don't believe he'dd do this if he didn't believe that. This man has done to this day so many things that proved he cares about me. More than my family even. Not words, acts.
He's on the wrong path though. I don't respond well to this kind of "therapy". So I'm on the other side of the wall hoping he sees that, since he finds my reasons excuses to lay low.

I'm sure we could use some time apart but there are no conditions for that ATM.

One word trumps all...acceptance. Nothing wrong with growth, but appreciation for who we are right now is what facilitates it. Not a yearning for future possibilities...

Sounds like a difficult place for you, and not realistic.

Agree. I'm waiting for the rain to stop. On the other hand, I can't get wet. I'm tapping myself on the shoulder, saying he'll come to his sense and everything will work out fine.

"No comfort zone" works only if you want to brainwash someone, so it sounds like he's using the wrong tool. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Mr. six needs to learn to accept you and talk and listen like a pair of rational adults, both of whom have some problems.

Agreed. It feels like a hammer too.
It upsets me because he was like my big brother before we started dating, years ago. He was somewhat of a stronghold to me. I have no one to Moo him back.

I try to think like what I suppose a woman of my age should, but I don't see the world like other people see. You know those 3 lill monkeys? "see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil". I don't like to deal with people because they do all of those. He knows that.