How do you find love?

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I've seen (in church, so it feels even worse) my friends flirt and just seem to sometimes fall for each other. On my last post in What Was [Your} First Kiss Like?, I mentioned that the one girl I had a crush on turned out to be a lesbian (or I think I at least tried to imply it; I'm really bad at communicating). So, I'm feeling kinda blue and hopeless. It seems like everyone else has an easy time finding someone else and I just... can't. Like I'm incapable.

How do you? I've heard about waiting and that seems like that's the only thing you can do. I feel left out and 3rd-wheeled all the time. (Like being the only single guy in a group of people who are dating)

Annnnd I probably should stop watching How I Met Your Mother...

Well, I have a pretty good idea how you feel. in Sunbury PA, nearly every one is in a relationship. except me. and it's really depressing and starting to tick me off.
It even makes me wish for my own death... I couldn't do it myself though. I am so sick of being single. and sick of seeing people walk around town holding hands and how they're all so happy... knowing I can never have that sort of happiness...

Did you mean how do you find love or how do you find a date? Those are two different things. I'm a girl so it wasn't as difficult for me to find dates as it can be for guys. Even NT guys complain all the time about how hard it is to find dates or girlfriends.

How to find love is another story. After my divorce from my very short and very early marriage to my ex, I wanted immediately to find a bf and fall in love again. I dated and dated and hoped each guy was the right one, but none of them were. After a few dates I would always lose interest in them or something about them bugged me to death. Finally I just gave up. I decided to play the field and just enjoy myself and not care if I ever had a boyfriend again or not. Right after that I got with the guy who is now my husband.

I think that deciding not to look for it takes the pressure off you. When that happens you can relax and enjoy yourself and there is a much better chance of connecting with somebody when you don't feel all that pressure.

I don't find love; I just go to places where love is likely to find me.

How do you find dates?

Which are?

But why would you want to find love? Isn't that kind of like saying "Man I wish I was hungry"?

Make a thread on the L&D forum...say you're a single woman looking for an Aspie guy to date. Sorry, I couldn't resist, I really wouldn't recommend that route . I think a good way is to join clubs or organizations centered around something you're interested in. Volunteering or hobby clubs are really good ways to meet people. And there's always the online dating route.

As for finding love, I'll just say: with great difficulty. Even the most social people in the world have trouble when it comes to love, they're just better at the whole dating thing so they get better odds due to more opportunity.

I've mainly always just asked guys out. I asked my very first bf ever out and he took me out and then he did the asking from then on. Before that I had always done the whole "Ohh, you know him you talk to him and find out if he wants to go out with me, tell him I like him" thing but that was too much trouble. It was easier to just ask them and get it over with.

Occasionally I'd get asked out and that was always nice and I'd go if I was attracted to them. But I've mainly always done the asking.

The 3 girlfriends I had I found by posting on forums. Me & the 1st were friends & I wasn't wanting a relationship when she made the 1st move but I changed my mind after I thought about it.. I found my 2nd girlfriend by making a post here about wanting to find a companion. I got my 3rd/current because she seen a lot of my posts here & PMed me. Like most Aspies I s#ck at meeting & interacting with women offline for all the typical Aspie reasons. I Basically spent quite aLOT of time online(some here & forums I used in the past would say too much) & I got lucky.
Maybe this song will help you feel better

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHMvdvx8uf8[/youtube]

Yeah, I've been feeling like that too. It's so depressing and it seems like everyone just has the easiest time and it "just happens" to them.

The thing is, I never grew up close to my parents or any members of either family I was related to. My parents divorced and there's been a string of constant fighting ever since, so there is no love at home. I hoped that I could find someone so it would feel like I was at least loved by someone. It's really sad to admit, but it's true.

Ahh ... stalkin tha wee, timourous beasty, now are we?

First, you have to remove all natural aromas from your body. Bathe or shower completely, using generous quantities of soap all over. Then, dress in freshly-laundered clothing. Since females are frightened by clashing colors and patterns, try to match the hue - if not the intensity - of the clothing.

Second, since females are also frightened by frowny-faces, learn to smile, or to at least fake a smile.

Third, speak the following words softly: "That's interesting", "Let me get that for you", and "No, I don't mind at all". A soft, low voice works best, since harsh shouting will drive entire herds of females away in an omni-directional stampede that is centered on you.

Fourth, when you speak about yourself, three things are important: (1) Have something to say; (2) Say it in a positive way; (3) Speak only the truth. Complaining and whining are for men who enjoy cold and lonely nights. Lies are for those men who want to die alone, too.

Finally, be patient; females are capricious, and tend to change their minds often. And if one gets away, then accept the fact graciously and do not chase after her.

That's about it. Good Luck!

The woman you were interested might have only said that she was a lesbian as a cheap way of rejecting you.

As for finding love, the way I see it is that you can't control what other people think, so you can't really do anything towards finding "true love." You can do things to make yourself more attractive to people in general, but in the end you still can't control what they think. And if you try too hard, people will think you're desperate, and that's unattractive.

Personally, I'm going to give up on actively searching for anyone. The majority of people are full of s**t anyway.

the woman would have to love me first.that really only chance I have with love

I hear what you're saying, and that completely makes sense, but I trust her word and I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian. Either way, she doesn't want me, so she's out of the game.