Crush makes me sad and excited (tango of emotions)

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Our story begins at the atrium of my community college, where an Argentine gentleman was holding tango lessons. Always having been fascinated by Argentine Tango, I went there to try to learn the dance. Anyways, when people were picking dance partners and I found myself picked last, partially because of my being shy, and partially because im the ugly version of Mick Jagger (http://i.imgur.com/hrP3hUI.jpg)

Anyways, here I am without a partner, my cheeks stinging with slight embarassment when all of a sudden, the cutest redhead approaches me and takes my arms. We danced an awkward fumbling tango, both of us giggling in embarrassment the whole way through. Anyways, the first song finished and she had to leave to do some work for Student Government (shes a Senator within Student Government)

The rest of the lesson I found myself thinking of her and due to the fact that I wanted to see her and under the pretense of wanting to learn more about Parliamentary Procedure (planning on joining student government next semester) went into their office. She said "Hey Zane!" immediately upon my entry and I waved back before talking to the SGA president, trying not to act too interested.

Later that day I was in the school library when I saw her walk by. I jumped up and ran out and caught up with her and tried to pretend that I was going to classes too, but found myself toungetied for en excuse. Im terrified she figured out what I did and thinks im a total loser)

Still later that day we crossed paths on the bridge and even though we were going opposite directs, she smiled and said "Hey Zane" again. If I creeped her out I dont think she would have acknowledged me.

Im really sad at heart because I feel like im going to lose this one, like I always do.Its like I already know shes going to say no but I know I cant avoid the feeling. Im curious though, is it acceptable to ask a girl that I know this well if she would like to get some coffee with me (at the on campus coffee shop)

This will be blunt, so sorry about that.

I think that a lot of women would appreciate having the freedom to smile at men and be nice to men and call men by their first name without the latter automatically assuming that they're into them.

I know this feeling well.

How many girls have you actually asked out? I'm pretty sure it's totally acceptable to ask out a girl you don't know well - that's why you're asking them out... To get to know them...

I think you should ask her out asap before you have more opportunities to be awkward and botch the whole thing. You even have a great icebreaker / first date... "Want to go to this dance class with me / take a dance lesson?"

Also, you are not ugly. Very likely that it's your social skills that are the problem.




I think you might be surprised... A lot of girls will give you a chance, even if it's mainly just so they can get a free meal/coffee/etc out of you. Worst case scenario they say "no thanks", are flattered and feel good about themselves. I think it's very rare for a girl to go, "man, I wish all these guys would stop asking me out all the time." Fact is that even attractive girls don't get asked out THAT much, because guys don't have the balls and are intimidated.

Yeaahhh... why don't we let some women weigh in on the topic for a change.

I did kind of need to hear that, in the face of emotion I become astoundingly impractical

I should add that we did talk a bit more than a few "hi's" but yeah I do probably need to converse with her a bit more. It just seems like lately ive been undercut by my patience in dealing with these things

I love the way your story begins in the atrium, it's a great story.

I think that because you already have had conversation with her and she knows who you are you are now in a good position to ask her to go for a coffee with you.

It would be different if you had never spoken before and the first thing you said was, "hi, do you want to go for a coffee?" She'd be like, um, and who are you?

But you know each other a little and it's ok to ask now. She might say no, but if she does say no, you can stop stressing and get on with your life and feel good that you made an effort and not always be wondering if only...

And vice versa.

OP's story is sweet. Hell yes, it's acceptable to ask to get some coffee together. You're not asking for a lapdance, and you'll probably enjoy each other's company.

Hey Zane, stay cool but don't get frosty!

Yes, ask her if she'd like to get a coffee with you.

Thanks people, I think I will after I talk to her a little further.

Not to pimp out my prose and poetry or anything, but I keep all that stuff here if you liked how I told my story (though I feel I used "anyways" too much) http://www.wattpad.com/user/Dharmabum7

You just have pimped it out. I hate to be Mr Librarian Tiger, but the writing section could do with your contributions.

"Modern" Sexuality - the man's a beat poet, a flame burns in thee.

Well gee thanks, though I guess I made my beat influence pretty obvious in naming my profile after something by Jack Kerouac.

Nope, I missed that

You have done everything wrong so far Zane. I'm sorry to say that but it's my honest opinion if you want to take things further with this woman.

When you walked into the SGA office and she said "hey Zane !" You should have went over and had a conversation with her and shown your interest at the very least a little bit.

And then when you saw her walking out of the library and chased her out but got too scared to say something but you feel like she noticed you that's not good either. Even if she didn't notice you now you don't know if she did or not and it will be on the back of your mind and hurting your confidence probably.

The good news is that it sounds like she likes you and she's given you a couple of extra chances. Don't keep screwing them up. Just be a man and go up and talk to her. Don't tell her that you think she's sexy but just go up and have a genuine conversation with her and see if you can get her to open up to you a bit. If you keep avoiding her than she will lose interest.