"Don't limit your options by dating online"

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2wheels4ever
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05 Aug 2013, 11:59 pm

I had a friend suggest this when I mentioned my ongoing online LDR. He meant well but my issues with physical dating: competition and general bad Return On Investment, 2: if it's not a special interest, nothing to really talk about - as well as potential partners not having their own special interest. 3; the likelihood of ever encountering a WP personality in RL - easier to win the lottery without buying a ticket. 4; assuming once all these hurdles are passed, the possibility of great differences in adult recreational preferences and even what constitutes adult in that context.

Hmm, focus on an interaction where both parties have to sell their possessions to facilitate meeting in real life where they've bared their souls to each other, or resume pounding the gum-covered pavement, since that special someone just might be literally around the corner? For the time being, I'll stick to what is working in my life


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benh72
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06 Aug 2013, 1:07 am

I met my first wife, and previous girlfriends in the real world.
All those relationships ended badly, some worse than others.
In the case of my ex wife, it ended with me attempting suicide, and being forced to live with my parents when she kicked me out of the house, and now means I have little contact with my daughter.
The divorce happened more than 10 years ago, I'm still feeling the pain now.
I met my second wife online.
We checked out each other's profiles, emailed, messaged, talked on the phone, and felt we really knew each other before we met.
We've been together more than 9 years, married for more than 6.
I know everyone is different, and that what works for some doesn't work for others.
In my case, I would not hesitate to recommend online dating, but just like in the real world, you will have to sort the wheat from the chaff, and you have to expect you will have a few disappointments before you might find the right match.
It's just with online dating you feel more in control, and it's less daunting.
I don't plan on baling on my marriage, but if anything happened and I found myself single again, I'd definitely rate online dating above any other method.



diablo77
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06 Aug 2013, 11:17 am

I think online can work well for people like us because we have the opportunity to get to know people through a medium that can be easier and less stressful, communication-wise, we can let people know up front what extra complications are involved and screen out those unwilling to accept them, and we can find people who we already know are interested and looking for the same things before we meet, which for me at least is key, because I can have a hard time reading other people and I hate wondering if the person I've just met is actually into me or just likes me as a person and wants to be friends, and not being able to think of a non-awkward way to find out. I also am not interested in dating anyone who doesn't want the same kind of future because I don't want short-term relationships, so being able to know going into it that we are a good match and want the same things is a good way to avoid dead-end relationships and find someone you can actually build something real with.



thewhitrbbit
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06 Aug 2013, 1:30 pm

Online can be cool, but don't become so fixated on it you loose sight of what might be in front of you in real life.



FlanMaster
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06 Aug 2013, 2:24 pm

2wheels4ever wrote:
Hmm, focus on an interaction where both parties have to sell their possessions to facilitate meeting in real life where they've bared their souls to each other, or resume pounding the gum-covered pavement, since that special someone just might be literally around the corner? For the time being, I'll stick to what is working in my life


Megabus, patience, and public parks. Of course this only works if you live on the same continent and megabus services the entire area between the two of you but still, I can ride from chicago to nyc on megabus for less than 20 bucks one way when planning things carefully, and far enough in advance. So, 30 to 40 bucks round trip, several months of waiting, going to an open public park for the "date". Gives plenty of time to set up a list of things to talk about and bullet points to be made within each subject, in case your "date" freezes up also. Public parks are free. planters peanuts are low cost snacks. Heck. for $60.00 or less (showers included) you just might find the wp member of your dreams, and you can both be dysfunctional together.

Thank God I don't have to worry about that any more, though I now have to try to modify my behavior to be more helpful in the relationship, etc. But for me, it's certainly better than being alone in a one room apt, hooked on internet and body weight exercises, and cream cheese.


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