I think I'm in love with a friend...

Post Reply New Topic

I've had feelings for this girl from the moment we first met, but I've been afraid to say anything partly because she was with my best friend ( who's like a brother to me ) for a few years but mostly because I can't imagine my life without her in it and I don't want to lose her over whatever this feeling is. I've never had a date in my life so I don't really know if I'm actually in love with her or if it's just a crush...though it feels like way more than a crush. She's pretty much all I think about....and most of my thoughts are of us cuddling on the couch or my bed watching something or listening to music and occasionally a nice romantic kiss. Any advice, other than avoiding her or finding another "crush" ( I've been trying btw...I can't even fantasize about the girls on PLL anymore )?

Presuming she is single, I think you should ask her out, but don't make it a "date" just ask her out for lunch, or to a movie or something.
If she feels anything she will probably let you know, if she doesn't but is happy to hang out you may find yourself in the "friend zone".
That's probably your best option.
Sitting at work gawking at her and obsessing about her is likely to creep her out, so better to at least talk to her and let her know you like her, but you can't make her feel the same as you do, and you don't want to go saying the l word before she is ready to hear it; I've done that a few times, and it never ends well.

You generally want to go medium. You want to give her a chance to catch up with you. Now, the magic may not happen, but then again, it may. You want to give the magic a chance to dance.

What if you say something like this to her: I'm thinking I like you. What if we go out and see how it works?

One radio talk show host fielded a question about a friendship turning into a romance. He said, anything less than a definite yes, like if she tries to spare your feelings, treat it as a no. But I'm not sure it's that cut and dried.

Yes, it's possible you might lose her as a friend, but it sounds like it might be a risk worth taking.

And about your friend, maybe the three month rule, that if it's been more than three months, you're not cutting in. You could even ask him, or view it as giving him the courtesy of giving him a heads up. Just don't let that conversation drain you of too much energy that you'd rather use for a potential first date with her. And that's all it is for the first step, just a nice first date.