Newbie here I need help with my A/S girlfriends ups and down

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Hi
My girlfriend whom I love very much was diagnosed with A/S she suffers from communication troubles and has a hard time figuring out what is said between us. At times she feels i dont understand her feelings of fear and she spends alot of time worrying over things that havent happend yet...the worrying and fears are sucking the life out of our relationship and our love life...she up and recieptive one minute then mad as hell and withdrawn the next...can anyone offer me any advice so I can help this relationship heal

My advice is to try an talk with her very directly, not assuming anything about what she is feeling or what you should do about it. If you haven't yet, find out what she is worried about. When she gets mad, is it because she has been forced to interact with people more than she is comfortable doing? Is there something sensory like a noise that is bugging her?

I think that you should ask her some questions about the issues that she's mentioned. Once you have the imformation, than you'll be better able to deal with the things that you need to deal with.

Ask her about what her comforts are & what her fears/worries are.
She will be receptive to you.

She might or might not feel comfortable in discussing emotional issues verbally. Some of us find it much easier to put our thoughts down in writing. It might be well worth asking if your girlfriend can write down some of her thoughts for you.

Give here some reassurance.

Make sure that you are alone with her when you ask her these things.

I know that when there is more than just the person I actually want to talk to around, I can't talk about things. If I'm alone with the person I want to talk to, I'm more apt to open up - but only if I trust that person is not going to run away based on the things they are hearing AND that's if I'm not feeling pressured to talk.

I've found that true of myself for years and now a few of the Aspie's I've met face to face are telling me they feel the same way.

Would it be silly to suggest discussing things via IM? I've found my guy and I can have more in-depth conversations over MSN than in real life...

There's a difference between support and advice.

Advice is where you tell someone what to do.

Support is when you hug them and tell them that whatever they do is ok.

Go for the second option. Whatever the current worry is, just be reassuring, and then they'll have the strength to do what they really wanted to do in the first place.

Confusing, but true.

hug her