aspergers and love

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how do I know if my aspergers Fiance loves me? what are thier usal ways of exspressing it, becuase as far as I know they have difficultys in that area. Are thier ways to tell if hes really in to me? I mean for the most part I can be sure, but I wan't to know more ways I can tell? I would also like to know if their is a way to show or teach him myself to what I would like every onece in a while. I love him so much hes been very good to me. I just want to better understand him so I can get rid of the miss understandings.

You know him best. Just express to him that you want him to be more affectionate. You need to be direct and explain to him that it's bothering you. He may be showing affection in a way that you're not familiar with.

ya non-verbal communication usually dont work on us aspies.

In general, men usually dont get hints, especially if they're aspies. If you want to communicate something, get to the point and say it directly. Don't try to throw out hints or whatever nonverbal communication woman usually do that men dont understand.


thats all i got

Well, if he asked you to marry him, that's a surefire way to tell.

But, I am guess you are NT, like me, and you need more than that. Like the other poster says, you know him better than us and you can probably tell. You didn't mention how long you've been together or if you've lived together; things like this might be good to consider. If you haven't been together very long or never lived together, it could be too much of a shock.

If you need something from him, you need to tell him directly and tell him exactly how you want it and how often. But, depending on who he is, he might not agree to it, and you need to ask yourself if you can live without that.

For example, I like to cuddle with my husband on the couch. He's usually cool with that. If I have had a particularly stressful day, I might ask him for a hug or something. But, on the other hand, I wanted jewelry for my birthday (I like surprises, he doesn't, so I have to tell him what I want for my birthday, etc, which takes the fun out of it), and he refused. We negotiated, and agreed to dinner at a nice restaurant.

There are other things that I know mean he loves me. They are not conventional, romantic things that we see in movies or are told to expect. They are strange, logical things. Like, I did ask him once if he really loved me and he looked at me and said "I married you when you were fat!" (does not like overweight women, at all) Another time was when I switched the lotion I used on my face without properly researching (Aveeno w/ sunscreen). My skin started to look ruddy, and he read the back of it and saw it had the ingredient Oxybenzone, which actually causes skin damage when it interacts with sunlight. He yelled at me for an hour or two, told me I was stupid for not researching it. To call me stupid was not nice, and to most people, this seems like a total jerk move, but in reality it's only a partial jerk move, it was because he cared about what I used on my body. If he didn't love me, why get all angry? Why look up Oxybenzone at all?

Rest assured, he loves you. But this marriage is going to be a lot of work, especially if you want children and especially if he has trouble with finding and keeping employment. If you are the kind of person who needs to be with your man at all times or get everything you need from him, have issues with being direct and honest, this is not the marriage for you. If you are close to family, have other friends and hobbies outside of him, it still won't be easy, but you'll have a chance. I'll be honest and say that being completely direct was not a strong point of mine, especially when it came to anger and sadness, but I am learning and excelling.