How to Ask a Girl Out?

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Hey Everybody,

I was wondering if you guys have any advice for me. To any of you who's dating or married on this site, can you please tell me how to ask a girl out on a date? Let me know. Thanks.

I am not dating or am married, but to ask someone out is simple. All you have to do is go up to them and ask them out.

It depends on whether she's in your social circle (e.g. group of friends, classroom, work, etc.). I believe it's better to not dip into your social circle, so I focus on meeting new, random women. Here's how I ask these women out:

Keep things light and casual so it's not a big, scary thing. This makes it easy for her to commit, as well as keeping it low pressure for the two of you.

With that in mind, ask her if she'd like to grab a drink or coffee (pick the latter if she doesn't drink alcohol). Some people advise not asking, which I've done in the past, but I think asking is not only more socially intelligent, it also gets her to invest and it feels like she's part of the decision making process, both of which she'll appreciate.

If she agrees to grab a drink or coffee, then tell her to exchange phone numbers by pulling out your cell phone. Don't cop out with Facebook or business cards. Those things are impersonal and she can get the wrong idea.

Once you've exchanged phone numbers, right away text her that you're glad to have met her and tell her to save your number.

In a few days, follow up with her on that drink or coffee and ask her what her schedule is like for the rest of the week. From there, agree on a day, time, and venue.

That simple. Don't get trapped into spending hours texting. It's best to keep texting to coordinate logistics. Only in special circumstances should you exchange "fun" text messages. It's too difficult to build a connection over text. Save the fun and connection stuff when you meet her in person.

If you want to ask someone out in your social circle, I don't have much experience with that. But I can say it's ideal to date her away from the rest of the group. You want to make it private. This can be done by planning a date in advanced or on the fly when you're hanging out with the group, and you pull her aside for a "detour."

Ctrl_F4 has some excellent advice.

I would add to;

by saying 100% ask this. In the past when guys only ask for a drink in the evening it can make you question what their motives are.. I am not saying that you are looking for a one night stand but depending on what type of men have approached her before it may always crop on her mind. Let her decide what is most comfortable for her.

I have had random guys ask me out before and it can be awkward if they stand there for a long time making small talk at you when you know they are building up to asking you out. So maybe not leave it too long, unless of course you already know them then you can drop it into conversation whenever.

Most importantly just be yourself!

Thanks, string, for the real-world confirmation! Especially from a neurotypical!

Good point about making a move. It's a bit more "advanced," but you're absolutely right--if you wait too long, things get awkward. My best advice is to just get out there and rack up the experience so you begin to see what signs women give to indicate she wants to see you again. Signs include her smiling more than usual, increased eye contact, her touching you, her laughing at your jokes, warm body language, her asking you questions, her qualifying herself, etc.

I say this is a bit more advanced because there's no script (per se) you can follow to gauge a woman's interest. You have to first get good at reading body language so you know whether she's enjoying your company. Once you learn how to get women to enjoy your company, then you can work on getting a feel of how much positive body language means she wants to see you again. You have to compare her body language with her default body language though; that means how one interested woman behaves may just be how another non-interested woman behaves. Interested body language is relative/different for each woman as well as the context/environment/how her day is going.

I recall when this sounded like an impossible skill to learn, but I persevered and now I can claim to have that skill.

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Another tip that any guy can immediately start using is to be warm. That means smiling more (opt for the sexier, closed-mouth smile though), having relaxed/open body language, and being friendlier. Don't be a pushover, but be a gentleman. Believe it or not, women are just as afraid of rejection, so your warmth will both encourage her to hang around and also reassure her that the the social risk she took with you isn't going to end with rejection.

Hey you're a peach, we should be a pair

I don't understand your question.

Do you want to be able to ask a girl out on a date?

or

Do you want to be able to ask a girl out on a date with 100% success?

or

Do you want be able to ask out the right girl for you out on a date with 100% success?

or

Do you want to ask out a girl you know very well out on a date with 100% success?

or

What?

It varies, it depends on a lot of factors.

Most people who ask this question, really are asking:

How I have a girl say yes when I ask her out on a date, and therefore have no risk of rejection at all, because I can't deal with rejection?

If that is the case, work backwards on that one.

You: "Hey baby, i got a thing for you ya know."
Girl: "You like me?!"
You: "Yeah, sure, that too."

Hey Everybody,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you guys but I've been really busy with school. I want to thank you all for that advice. For any of you wrongplanet users who haven't posted advice on this forum you may do so at anytime. Until then, thank you for the advice.

I would suggest starting a friendship between the two of you, get to know each other a bit better. Then, you ask her, if likes you, she'll say yes, if not, then move on.

all u have to do is when you two are alone ask her out. dont ask her out when shes with her friends or when you two are in a group

well thats all i got