Well, it's over with Aspie gf.

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I've chronicled the saga via a handful of posts over the past month or so. Thanks again to those who were helpful in my gaining perspective. I knew she was really stressed with school, long periods of silence, punctuated by moments of sheer unpleasantness. She found a way to turn every thing into a negative, I was constantly made to feel like I was "annoying" ... sometimes she would snap out of it and ask me to be patient with her - and those few times actually kept me in there. But finally I just had enough, and stopped giving her the benefit of the doubt and stopped attributing her meanness to being an "Aspie".

So I told her I didn't want to continue seeing one another. Everything was via text or email. She won't speak on the phone. And she was constantly too stressed to get together - and when we did - she was stressed that she wasn't doing school stuff.

And telling her that I couldn't do it anymore caused a hysterical reaction - she just was SOOOO ANGRY - saying the most horrid things about how much she hated me - the floodgates just poured open. And it made NO SENSE to me whatsoever. Last I checked, when one has come to dislike their partner, and that partner finally throws in the towel - you are relieved to not have to do the "dirty work" of breaking up. At least such has been my experience - if I am "done" with somebody I'm involved with - and she breaks up with me - well that's just fine. But she was anything but "fine" - I think it was just her pride - I mean she screamed and SCREAMED about how stupid I was and how much she couldn't stand me. I kept asking her why she was so angry, and she never gave me an answer.

Finally she told me to never speak to her again or she would call the POLICE. Then contacted me an hour later to remind me again to never speak to her. So unneccessary, so very wasteful. It's not any big shock that she has a big priority in her life (school) that has come front and center, and something had to give. She can't expect to be increasingly grumpier and grumpier with somebody, and have that person just continue to accept taking the brunt of her anger and frustration.

Anyway, I will miss her a lot - but have accepted that the person whom I miss is not around any more anyway - I miss the memory - not the reality. She was emotionally abused when growing up - it's what she knows I guess. Anyway, the whole situation made me very sad. Saddest is she goes on not learning anything from the experience. I don't imagine she even thinks about it the next day - let alone reflect over time. It was very weird. Weirdest part was at one point, she is there denying she even has Aspergers - it was like the weirdest thing - all she has talked about for months is her experience of being an Aspie - and here she is there yelling at me that such is not the case at all. It's like everything she was saying became nonsense - and I guess my only question is - at moments like that - does she actually believe what she is saying - or is she just saying anything she can think of too hurt and contradict another person - it's like at these moments were I too tell her that 2 and 2 are 4 - she would deny and tell me I'm wrong. I guess it's the wounded pride, and lack of control in the situation. Makes no difference that she hates a person - she just doesn't want another person to decide what will or will not happen in the future. I think her anger was totally because I ended it, not because she lost anything. Other than pride.

/agree

I hate ending things or having things end with me. I think a lot of people do. I have only had one good clean break from someone I dated. Everyone else dealt with me being upset and me deciding not to speak to them again... or at least for a while without speaking.

Truth is, if the break was bad and anger was involved from one side... Nothing can be said or done to repair that damage. What I have seen in my experience.

See, when people (via breakup) have told me never to speak to them again, I respected their wishes and didn't contact them.

Was that the right thing to do?

yes having too much negativity is unhealthy for anyone. Most people thrive on positive energy.


Having too much negativity around for long periods of time and we become unhealthy.

Well if the person didn't mean it, they should actually contact the person back whom they just told to not ever contact them again and let them know they didn't mean it.