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billiscool
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18 Oct 2013, 11:55 pm

ok,so what's this deal about hitting on employees(of gym,store,coffee)
some people will say ''employee are suppose to be nice(right)and they
are not interested in dating''
or it's like illegal or against social rules or something.
Fair enough,but here where it get confusion.

when I hear women say:''oh,I meet my husband who
was a customer at the store(coffee,gym,wherever) I work
at''........ok,that right there,throw everything out,it
shows that it's possible for a customer-employee
relationship.

and I made couple female friends(both married) who
are both store employer at the same store.
I even asked one out at one time..

so...



elkclan
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19 Oct 2013, 12:10 am

nothing wrong with it - but you just need to be careful that you respect their time and the work they have to do.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Oct 2013, 12:29 am

I've never heard that it's a bad thing to do, and I've worked in customer service and had it happen many times. The only one that made me uncomfortable was the drunk that whispered in my ear I had a nice ass. :?


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yellowtamarin
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19 Oct 2013, 12:55 am

Okay so where you are going wrong here is with this part:

billiscool wrote:
some people will say ''employee are suppose to be nice(right)and they
are not interested in dating''

Maybe some people say that but they are wrong. Here's the correct version:

Employees are supposed to be nice. Their niceness is not a reliable indicator of their interest in you.

Of course some employees are interested in dating. They're probably just not interested in dating every customer whom they are nice to.



Who_Am_I
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19 Oct 2013, 3:37 am

They are supposed to be nice, so their niceness is not necessarily an indicator of interest. However, if they seem nicer to you or more flirty than they are with the other customers, then they might like you.


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lost561
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19 Oct 2013, 9:22 am

Yes hitting on store employees isn't the best approach to finding a girlfriend. If a woman is half decent looking and is working she probably gets hit on often when she is required to be nice. If you really like the way this woman looks and are interested in her than here are a few things I would do.

1. Observe her eye contact with you. If she is giving you a wide open smile in a certain way than she very well could be interested. There really is no way to explain this over the internet. Something like this though is a good sign:

Image

2. Ask her questions. And then build on her answers. Meaning if you ask her how her day was and she responds with " good " than she isn't interested in you and there's really no point in trying to have a conversation with her. If she responds with " my day was ok, just went to school and then came here to work. How was your day?" You should respond with "my day was ok. What are you studying in school?"

It's all about building on the information that the woman gives you Bill. If she said that she just went to school and came to work than she doesn't want to talk about football or cars. The more you build on what's in her mind and the more you can get her to talk, the better chance you have of establishing a relationship.

Talk 70% about her and 30% about you.



Grimdalus
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19 Oct 2013, 9:23 am

It's unprofessional. In a store you are employed to do your job, not to flirt with women.



Codyrules37
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19 Oct 2013, 9:24 am

hitting store employees will get you kicked out and possibly arrested.



Uprising
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19 Oct 2013, 9:34 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
They are supposed to be nice, so their niceness is not necessarily an indicator of interest. However, if they seem nicer to you or more flirty than they are with the other customers, then they might like you.

Some of them are not nice at all, maybe those are more reliable? :P :lol:



aspiemike
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19 Oct 2013, 10:20 am

Codyrules37 wrote:
hitting store employees will get you kicked out and possibly arrested.


That sounds about right. :)


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Stargazer43
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19 Oct 2013, 2:00 pm

I've actually had a couple occasions where store employees have openly flirted with me. Unfortunately it was always with ones that I wasn't attracted to in the least (they all looked fine physically but didn't seem to have much going on upstairs, to put it nicely). One started asking me about what type of women I like, and how someone as attractive as me wasn't married...while I was waiting for a lb of sliced turkey at the grocery store. I'll admit I was flattered, but it totally caught me off-guard.



Misslizard
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19 Oct 2013, 4:17 pm

When I was a waitress I got hit on quite a bit.You can't really go by someone smiling,waitress and most service people do that ,you are suppose to be friendly.Once a dirty old man grabbed me,but that was the only time anyone got out of line physically.One guy asked if I would sit on his face,ugh.I was really glad when I saw him slip and fall down on the courthouse lawn. :twisted:


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Who_Am_I
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19 Oct 2013, 6:44 pm

lost561 wrote:
Yes hitting on store employees isn't the best approach to finding a girlfriend. If a woman is half decent looking and is working she probably gets hit on often when she is required to be nice. If you really like the way this woman looks and are interested in her than here are a few things I would do.

1. Observe her eye contact with you. If she is giving you a wide open smile in a certain way than she very well could be interested. There really is no way to explain this over the internet. Something like this though is a good sign:

(picture removed to avoid huge quote)

2. Ask her questions. And then build on her answers. Meaning if you ask her how her day was and she responds with " good " than she isn't interested in you and there's really no point in trying to have a conversation with her. If she responds with " my day was ok, just went to school and then came here to work. How was your day?" You should respond with "my day was ok. What are you studying in school?"

It's all about building on the information that the woman gives you Bill. If she said that she just went to school and came to work than she doesn't want to talk about football or cars. The more you build on what's in her mind and the more you can get her to talk, the better chance you have of establishing a relationship.

Talk 70% about her and 30% about you.


This is pretty good advice. Especially the bit about body language and building on her answers.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Codyrules37
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20 Oct 2013, 8:46 am

at least most men dont have to worry about being hit on.

Even though that sometimes sux for shy guys, not getting approached by women might be an advantage. If you're a women, you don't get to choose who hits on you. It could be some 40 year old hobo. However, when you're a guy, you have the choice of who you want to approach. You could go talk to that really attractive women. (if shes not working) And most men don't have to worry about being approached by women even if they're very unattractive.



Last edited by Codyrules37 on 20 Oct 2013, 8:51 am, edited 2 times in total.

Cafeaulait
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20 Oct 2013, 8:47 am

elkclan wrote:
nothing wrong with it - but you just need to be careful that you respect their time and the work they have to do.


This. I work at a furniture store and personally I usually find it VERY annoying when someone deliberately tries to hit on me when I am working. Off course it depends on how it happens, but when there are 6 customers awaiting my help I think it's very annoying when some guy walks by and says: 'wow, gorgeous figure'. My first thought is: creep.
But when I am alone and trying to help a customer that is very friendly and attractive I wouldn't mind him flirting with me at all, throughout the conversation.



Cafeaulait
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20 Oct 2013, 8:47 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I've never heard that it's a bad thing to do, and I've worked in customer service and had it happen many times. The only one that made me uncomfortable was the drunk that whispered in my ear I had a nice ass. :?


That sounds disgusting.