Help on not being a bottle

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So, one of my boyfriend's female friends stayed over two nights. I didn't mind the first, since she was having issues with her roommates, but I was not informed that she would be over another night. That threw me off. My boyfriend then further threw me off by canceling our game (think DnD) without consulting me, and instead stated we were going to go over to his parents and watch a movie. Not ask if I wanted to, just going.

So, that's the situation. I essentially turned into the worst grump as the day went on, becoming more a thunderhead than a rain cloud, until just as I was heading to bed, I actually realized what I had done and apologized.

What I'm looking for are ways couples can work around this communication problem and let their partner know what is bothering them, and ways to work it out. I know talking is the main thing, but what if you can't get yourself to express what's wrong?

Any suggestions are welcome.

So, one of my boyfriend's female friends stayed over two nights.

You actually allowed that? Geez.


I think its messed up that he cancelled your "DnD" night without letting you know ahead of time. He should of asked you if you wanted to go over to his parent's house also. It's best not to assume what people want to do.

Did your boyfriend and his female friend do any activities by themselves without you being there?

Since you are asking for advice, I would say.. if you aren't feeling too overwhelmed with the change of plans as it happens, express your feelings as best as you can, as quickly as you can about the situation that is upsetting you. Holding in emotions is causing the bottling up, right? I may have a blog entry that explains these types of situations as well.

Edit- Here is the blog entry: Bottling up vs expressing yourself.