Friends with benefits -- need advice

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Hey guys,

I need a bit of advice. You see, I've been thinking, and I really find the "traditional" bf/gf thing isn't all that attractive to me. Ideally I'd like a relationship where I can engage with a person sexually, but still have good conversations. The problem is though I don't know about where and how to find and initiate such a relationship. On dating sites like OKCupid--if you're a man looking for straight FWB, that is--either you are disparaged/ignored for seeking this type of relationship, or if you're lucky to find somebody who openly seeks this type, they're completely booked up.

As much as I try I just can't enjoy the "traditional" relationship. And despite the strong dis-incentive to be open on these sites about wanting to seek FWB, I see it as a much greater evil to pretend it's not what I'm seeking. So how would I go about looking? [without having to go into a bar or club, which are my personal hells.] I live in Boston, if that helps any.

Last edited by BahamutShrugged on 03 Jul 2013, 9:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

In the "looking for" options on OKCupid, where you can choose options like "long term/short term dating" or "new friends", there is also an option for "casual sex". You can choose the "casual sex" option if you want to let people know that you're into an FWB situation.

You def have a challenge ahead of you. FWB relationships are not easy to come by, not easy at all.

You can do the things on OKcupid, but don't expect much. These are more your bar/club type relationships.

Meetme.com and similar websites.

Also, some advice - use protection else your friend with benefits will be a friend ON benefits (aka. a friend with kids).

A lot of people I know that end up in such situations prefer to avoid it (women mostly). Guys on the other hand are more likely open to the suggestion. The major problem as discussed previously in many forums and in personal conversations on this topic is that someone always seems to develop feelings.

We should make a dating site for emotionally void people to just meet and screw.. will probably end in disaster and be a meeting ground for serial killers, but we can't help if thats our target audience

If life and death matters don't concern you Kmart... go for it.

I believe the term for people who would benefit is "aromantic sexual." I think it describes my situation perfectly; I just can't enjoy "romance" in the way other people do. So despite what you all have told me I just don't see any other way. OK, so I guess how should I go about spotting the women who are most likely to go for it? And then what would be the best way to pop the question?

Or better yet, what's the best way to look for casual sex without the club?

www.adultfriendfinder.com

Before you get excited...

Men Outnumber Women 10:1

Some of the women are hookers.

Others are cam girls who will get you to pay to get their contact info, which you'll never get.

im not interested myself, i think the ratio of women to men might be like 1:50 (none hooker girls atleast)
Always wondered why nobody made a straight version of grindr

Best site if you have a fetish for robots.

A brief poking around with sites like that gave me the impression that you have to be super lucky or have good people skills to score. Looking at places where women outnumber men, women tend to want relationships, not risky sex with strangers.

Best site if you have a fetish for robots.

A brief poking around with sites like that gave me the impression that you have to be super lucky or have good people skills to score. Looking at places where women outnumber men, women tend to want relationships, not risky sex with strangers.

sex with good conversation? what about that isn't a relationship exactly?

Did you read my second post? As an aromantic sexual, I just can not enjoy "romance" in the same way that other people can. That's why I'm seeking somebody I can still connect with but on a different level.

I would only say that a FWB thing should only be attempted with someone you've known for quite some time. A real friend. Hooking up with a recently met person for this is not a good idea I would think.


... your username is awesome btw.