Should I give internet dating a shot?

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I am generally against internet dating, in my opinion it is for desperate people who have no hope of actually meeting someone in the real world. This opinion is generally followed by the shocking revelation that I am one of those people.

I've never tried internet dating out of the fear of meeting a psychopath, meeting someone who will just turn out to be a guy, and making a complete fool of myself. Now that I have realized that time has gone on and there measures on most dating sites for things like this.

Another thing is the fact I'm only 20, and internet dating seems like something for older people. My therapist tells me to try internet dating as she has found men just as young as me on websites, but does not know if there will be any girls who are just as young.

I also don't have a car or driver's license (try spending a day in Cali without your license, and you've entered transportation hell). This would make getting to a date with a person very difficult.

I don't know, I'm thinking about starting a profile on this OKCupid site I've heard so much about on this forum. If I can't meet someone in the real world maybe there's a shot for me in the virtual world.

It probably can't hurt. You'll probably at least gain some dating knowledge and experience out of it, which can be a valuable tool towards finding the right person, even if you have to go through a string of failures in the process to get it. Just treat like a self-learning experience, that way it might not seem as daunting and/or disappointing.

No don't do it. It's not worth it. Especially if you don't have a car, unless you just want a pen pal.

Big deal about a car! OK, it would be more useful to have one, but life isn't impossible without one, surely.

OP, reading your past posts suggests you're trying to deal with a lot right now.

I think possibly, based on that, that dating right now might not be a great idea for you. I'm sure you deserve something good, and are you at the right point in your life to help create this?

I don't think having even a pen friend, though, is a bad idea.

Why not?

That's the honest answer.

No car is no good. Really. You should get your things straight before you date. That would probably be a huge deal breaker...its standard, especially here in California. (I'm in LA county)

I did the online dating thing three times, and gave it a serious go each time. I had two dates total, and each of the women were really, really weird. One was an anti-social Russian woman who smoked lots of cigarettes, and didn't feel like doing new things or meeting new people. The 2nd date was with a black woman who seemed "foggy" like if she was high on opiates, and hated her own race... lolwut?

The problem is that people can be as picky as they want without having to be awkward or live up to it. I even put, "Looking for a woman, not a one-night stand." As my headline, got some views, and I'd message them back, and nothing. I even lost 85 lbs between the first time and last time I did the whole dating website shindig. Didn't seem to help much. I even used polite humor to get some responses, which I received a few, but never made it past there. I even would read the woman's profile in-depth and relate my message to a few topics in her profile description...but that was a waste of time.

You can't show your true character on the internet. One's true personality and charisma shows WAY better in real life. Also 99.9% of the women WANT kids. /puke
At Pof.com, where you can search "Does/Doesn't want/have kids," (most aspies I know don't want kids)
There are even search options to search for income level, has/doesn't have a car, etc. So even 1 minor thing can hide your profile from others.

The number one most annoying thing on the dating websites is that the [good] women will say, "Don't ask me to f*** on the first date, etc." So I thought to myself, I'll reverse emulate what these jerks act like. Lets put some intelligence and light-hearted humor into this message....then its like a frickin' waste of time.

Do it and see for yourself how much crap these sites really are. It's a learning experience.

Last edited by FunkMasterMike on 08 Oct 2013, 4:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My mom met her current boyfriend online and he's too embarrssed to admit that's where they actually met. We live in the god damn information age. It's a stupid thing to be getting hung up about. Pride is such an unnecessary hinderence to true satisfaction, especially for Aspies. Take whatever sembelence of pride you have and kill it with fire. Instead you should be focusing on your personal sense of self-worth.

I met my Aspie GF (as well as had a few short flings) on Okcupid so I can personally attest to it's success. That being said, if you go into it with the wrong attitude (like most of the guys on this board) online dating will likely destroy you.

No, it's not worth it. Most dating sites charge a pretty penny just to join. Also, many people on dating sites are scammers in disguise.

Yeah I would also much rather meet my guy in the real world but I don't go to a lot of places where I meet men and I also don't have a lot of time. Internet dating might be a last option for me.

I guess that I've had better experiences with it than most in this thread. Thus far, I haven't met anyone who came across as weird or desperate. Quite the contrary, most of the people I've met through those sites have turned out to be wonderful people, and I've made some pretty good friends that way. Back in the 90s yes, dating sites were used almost exclusively by the most desperate. But nowadays, statistics say that 25% of relationships start online...it's become far more commonplace and accepted.

The car thing might be difficult for you with online dating. You have to have some way to get to and from dates, after all. But as long as you have that covered, go for it! As for the possibility of meeting crazies, just make sure to take all the usual safety precautions and you should be fine. Don't reveal any personally identifiable information until after meeting someone face to face, always meet in a very public place, and let a family member or friend know where you are and when to expect you back home. But you can pick up on the vast majority of "weird" people just by reading their profile or the messages they send. As I said, everyone I've met in person has been great, partly because I'm pretty selective with who I will meet.

Before you start internet dating, I recommend getting a drivers license. Why? Girls like guys who can drive. Plus it doesn't hurt to get your license, I know driving can be scary at first but once you get the hang of it, you'll be cruising down the highway in your mom's minivan.


Plus driving gives you freedom, you can go places without your mom or dad picking you up. Plus when you drive, you can listen to rap or pop music without your parents turning it off.

Yes, I agree with this. Even if you don't have a car, you should still get a driver's license. That way you can at least ask to borrow your parents' car for a date.

If a girl won't date you cause you don't have a car. She's not worth bothering with........

I can't drive because of my eyesight. However, if need be I can still organise to meet someone for a date. If you get a date with someone you met on OKCupid, you can always arrange to get a lift with someone.

Well before I get a license I need to fix the car. I guess I kinda lied when I said I didn't have a car, I have a car but it needs to be fixed fIrst. It'll cost about a thousand dollars and I'm torn between getting a building a really kick ass computer or a suping up the car. On the one hand a car would increase my chances at getting a date but a computer would just be incredible and that way I could take programming and computer repair in College and possibly increase my chances at meeting a nice intelligent gal. Either way I made a dating profile I guess I'll give it a shot.