How do you get a date?

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Hello. I usually lurk around on these forums and throw in an oddball post every so often.

Mini background: I am 27 years old and live in a suburb about an hour outside of Washington D.C. I work at a grocery store as a low-level front end manager. I have a B.S. in Business Administration, as well as my own truck. I still live at home because I cannot afford an apartment, and if I lived alone, I literally would never talk to anyone in real life outside of work. I am kind of fit, and don't smoke nor drink.

About 98% (yes, not 100%, I have seen a couple of people here with a similar problem throughout my lurking) of the people on this board when posting about their issues in finding a mate, for lack of a better term and to keep it non-sexual towards any gender, put in details about their previous relationships. There seems to be a lot of advice on this board on how to find the RIGHT person, but the vast majority of advice assumes that you have some non-platonic experience with other people.

My problem is, I have never been in a relationship. I have never been on a date. Just to throw something else on top, I was never even kissed until five months ago one night after work by a customer who professed her love for me out in the parking lot and planted one on me while I tried to get away because she reeked of cigarette smoke.

At work, I see alcoholics, chronic chain smokers, and outright nasty temperamental people with partners. Most of the people that I went to high school with are either in long-term relationships, married, have children, or a combination of three. A few of them have children hitting double digits in the age department.

The people that I work with are all in relationships or married. I have been asked more than once if I was trolling when inquired about my relationship status by said people that I was single. One of them, who is actually one of my bosses, thinks that I am a player. Where she got that from, I have no idea.

As for at home, my immediate family and I have not talked about my relationship status in more than a one-liner sense (and that was to tell me to make sure I do not go after girls under 18 years of age) in over two years. I get inquired about my status by members outside of my immediate family, but usually no follow-up questions. It is assumed that I will one day have kids of my own, though, based on certain one-liners that are said. I am not quite sure, but I think that my parents also think that I am a LOT farther along than I really am, in terms of both experience and knowledge, both relationship and sexual wise. My sister knows that I do not have relationship experience, though.

I want to elaborate more, but I think this message is getting to the point that some parts of it will be lost in the wall of text and lose its effectiveness. I will throw in more information if the situation warrants, and based on what I have said, I believe that to be the case.

So my tl:dr version question is...how do you go about getting a date?

Well, my experience is not going to be of any use to you (plus I haven't had a date in years), but you said you have a sister - how come she hasn't fixed you up with someone - that's the best way to get the awkward first date out of the way.

It doesn't have to be a girl you are crazy about - just someone whose company you could enjoy and wouldn't mind kissing - to get you over the mental hurdle of having that first few dates. When you have the experience of what goes on within dates, you may feel more comfortable asking someone out.

You may benefit from joining some sort of hobby group in another part of town so that you can meet new people.

Have you considered online dating? You come across quite well in a 'written' way, and without personally knowing you, that's not a bad remark to make.

You also, if you will forgive me for saying so, seem more than a little picky.

Online dating is sort of the cliched response, but I've found it's worked for me, in a way. I like it because everyone's motivations are out there upfront, whereas in real life you might find yourself liking someone only to find that they're already in a relationship. I used to chase guys all the time because I couldn't discern the difference between who might be interested and who wasn't.

I'm actually a little bit similar to you in that people don't believe me when I say I'm single and haven't had a real, true relationship. They see a not-unattractive woman with a good job and an advanced degree and fill in the blanks that I must have a guy stashed away somewhere. But dating is always something thats eluded me: the rules, the know-how, that other people instinctively pick up on.

They ask and I do not feel like lying about it because they ultimately would find out later in the relationship anyways if it progressed past the dating stage.

I can take this into one simple step. It's pretty direct, but it requires you knowing for sure that you want to do this.

1. You like the girl.
2. You ask her out.
3. You get a response.

Either you get a date, or you repeat this sequence when the next girl you are interested in comes along. No hard feelings, you just do it.

Some Arab nomads use trained monkeys for that, they climb the palm and get them dates.

My solution, not to care if I am a virgin or if people think that makes me lame. I'm cool!