How to talk to women

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1_fJObh7Mk[/youtube]

I see this issue come up in this forum a lot.

Aspie men turn into the "interviewer"

Notice @:50-1:20 player supreme talks about a man that was talking to a woman. The woman asked the man : How are you doing? And the Man responds: I am well, and that is it. This man sounds like an Aspie to me. He took the question literally and didn't know how to handle the social situation with the woman.

Anyway this is a good video to watch If you struggle at keeping a conversation and you constantly see yourself turning into "the interviewer" with women. You should be relaxed and making these women laugh if you listen to these videos than you might learn a few tricks. Not saying that it will solve all your problems, but it is good information to self improve.

What's wrong with "I am well"? I hate it when people say they're "good" when asked how they are, so a guy saying he's "well" would have got off to a good start with me.

And actually, he doesn't sound very much like an Aspie with that response as many Aspies (as has been often discussed on WP) tend to answer that kind of greeting with way too much information.

I watched it. The whole thing. That's 12 minutes of my life I'll never get back. He could made his points in about 2 minutes max, and the bit about closet gays at the end was completely irrelevant.

So, the points he made were that when talking to a woman you should listen to what she says, and then respond to what she just said instead of ignoring her and saying the next thing on your mind. He says that if you do that you'll create what women call "chemistry". While his advice is good, that's not "chemistry", that's what most people, men and women, call "having a conversation".

The other point he made, there were really only two, was that you should use your own natural speaking voice. Again, good advice, but doesn't just apply to speaking to women.

12 minutes! Aaaaargh!

Edited to add: Oh yeah, he said something about not being boring, but I was really bored by that time, so nah!

No, a normal response would be " I'm ok, how are you?" Or " I'm doing good, how are you doing?"

You don't just say "I'm well."

Where is this description of aspies that you're getting?

I've seen a few here on love and dating that matched the model I proposed where the man answers with a literal answer and doesn't engage anymore than that.

In various threads on WP, and other sites for autistic people, over the years that I've been here. People taking the question literally and giving a full and detailed response on how they are, not appreciating that a "fine" or "well" was all that was expected.

Actually you will get better responses from women if you do that and that does create chemistry. You're just trying to put down the video because you don't like me and my opinions.

I must say, your giving very sh***y advice if you tell men that is how they should talk to women. I feel bad for your son.

You don't just say fine. You ask the women how she is doing too.

You have a much better chance of establishing a relationship, and maybe even chemistry, if you can have a conversation with someone. But having a conversation is not the same as chemistry. If it were, I wouldn't be able to walk down the road to post a letter without having to step over couples shagging on the pavement.

Yeah, he should've have asked how she was. I agree with you on that. The point the guy in the video was making was that he shouldn't have used the expression "I am well".

It's so funny how the women here want the best of both worlds.

They say looks don't matter as much as social skills, now here you are saying social skills don't really matter.

There's a difference between having a conversation about quantum mechanics & having a conversation about what's on the woman's mind and getting her to open up and tell you things that she wouldn't normally tell other people. That is chemistry.

I didn't take it like that at all. "I am well" is fine as long as you ask how she is too. I'm pretty sure he meant just "I am well" being used by itself.

Um, no, that's still a conversation. More personal that one about quantum mechanics, but still a conversation. There's a bit more to chemistry than that. I've had conversations with people about all manner of personal stuff, sometimes with people I'm sitting next to on the bus, but still just a conversation.

He went on at some length about not using "proper English" when talking to women. From that I took the point about using your natural speaking voice. For me, that would be to say, "I'm well". I don't recall him saying anything specifically about asking her how she's doing.

Last edited by Marcia on 17 Oct 2013, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes but would you tell that person that your sitting next to on the bus about your secrets?

After building chemistry through these conversations that player supreme is talking about that's how you build trust with women and get them to open up to you and become an important person in their lives.

You can argue against me. I already know the truth. I thought the video would be helpful to a few members.

All good relationships start with and continue with conversation, and more.

The advice the guy gave is good as far as being able to have a conversation with someone, but that's as far as it went.