Tired of this "nice guy" and "bad boy"..

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...BULL CRAP!

Any else sick of these stereotypes? Cause I sure as hell am!

I mean come on it's just labeling people, and it's wrong. There is no such thing as either a true nice guy, or a true bad boy, I don't believe either one exists. Look everyone is different we are individuals, and other individuals seem to forget that. You can't say the bad boys get laid more, that they get more chicks, because every women is different and will want to date whoever she wants to. Personality is different and unique for each person, I for example can be stereotyped as a "kind bad boy, who doesn't treat women like crap, but is still dangerous, yet is unable to get laid." You want the truth it's in that quote right there.

Now I agree women are attracted to danger, but danger is a very loose term. it can mean a drug taking alcoholic, or it could mean someone who is into extreme sports and the likes of that. Everyone is bringing up statistics in the modern times, to try and prove that bad boys get laid more, but guess what people STATISTICS AREN'T SCIENCE!! !! !! I can not stress that enough, 80% of women will go for the dangerous guy, or 75% of women say they are looking for a nice guys IT'S ALL COMPLETE s**t!

So I say it's finally time to break free from the shackles of stereotypes. Guys stand on the roof tops and shout "I AM A MAN AND I WILL BE WHO I WANT TO BE!" and ladies stand by them and say "I AM A WOMAN AND I WILL DATE WHOEVER I WANT TO DATE!" It's time to end this, time to stand up for individuality and the rights of the unique.

Anyways that's my two cents for the day. Hope yall have a great week!

I acted nice to a woman once and she started going out with me. True story!

How's your okcupid working out?

Just observe who gets more play from women and observe their mannerisms. Observe how they conduct themselves, how they talk, how they stand, and how they carry conversations with women.

The bad boy image does sell. Being a bad boy doesn't mean literally being bad. It means possessing the qualities of a bad boy that women find attractive. Not being intimidated by women's beauty. Treating them differently than every other guy treats them because they get treated like a princess because of their looks.

In America this is important. In other cultures it isn't as important where women are still more feminine.

Best of luck.

I'm very tired of the two stereotypes as well. Furthermore, both get constantly misunderstood and distorted and especially the "bad boy" image seems to get far more emphasis than it deserves nowadays.

Kinda gave up on OKCupid, I just wasn't messaging anyone, and I don't really have the money right now to take a complete stranger out on a date. Though I did see a few women whom I could have potential interest in, I might message them when I get another job, and have the money to take them out on a date.

If you ask me, the "nice guy" image is underrated. It seems like most guys abuse the "bad boy" image, and it makes the other guys (like me) feel out of place, and like we need to do better in order to get the girls. Truth is, there are 2 things that can be done:

1) You can simply avoid the "popular" girls that tend to crave that kind of "bad boy".

2) You don't have to date THAT many girls. Sometimes, all it takes is one girl, one date, and everything works out. That is actually a better reality than trying to act macho and trying to see how many girls you can "get with". Rather, all that counts is one girl (although you don't have to stick with the first one, don't just throw her away because you want to act "manly" or "macho".)

^Believe me man I'm saving it for a real special girl. I'm not a bad boy or a nice guy I mean I'm just guy, but hey maybe being neither is my problem, but also in my experience most people are neither. As far as the popular girl, and the shy girl image go I think they are just as bad as the bad boys and nice guys. Each person, key word PERSON, is going to have a different definition of love I think we should look for people who share that definition, whether it's true love or just sex, but it's important to find a match.

(sigh) I just wish it didn't have to take so damn long! Every night I pray to different gods to send a girl my way. A girl that I can take care of and vice versa, a girl that knows how to kick ass and take some names, and if she was an artist who could draw the comic book characters I write that wouldn't be to bad to. Yet I also don't believe in perfection, I believe in common companionship and I think in the end the latter is the one I am truly seeking.

I am actually sick of these stereotypes. It is like saying there are good people on one end and bad on the other. People are multi-faceted. There is good and bad in every person. No one person is pure "good" or pure "bad".

But I do understand that "bad boy" means a certain thing that generally gets twisted around by different people. "Bad boy" does not really mean bad person or you are a jerk. If you are a jerk you are just a jerk. The bad boy thing means something different than that to me. To me bad boy means someone who is a rebel. The whole "bad boy" to me means like an outlaw (not in the criminal sense necessarily). Someone who breaks rules. An outcast pretty much. Someone who is an individual and separates themselves from everyone else. I always think of mainly Mike Ness from Social Distortion when I think of a "bad boy". I associate "bad boy" as a certain style and behavior set.

I also would say a "bad boy" is someone who stands up for themselves and is not passive or passive-aggressive. They are usually more aggressive a type of person who will beat you up if you look at them the wrong way. The kind of guy who if you talk to their girl they will have a problem with you. They may try to fight you. lol. Basically they are the kind of guy who does not sit on the sidelines and they are larger than life. They have a hard more rugged personality as well. Rough around the edges. Dangerous in some way. Mysterious.

The question is not really whether a "bad boy" is a bad person. Because that is the point that seems lost to some people especially aspies. They think they have to be a jerk or something which is not what "bad boy" means. "bad boy" does not mean treat your woman like crap. That does not work in the long run. Because this is not a true "bad boy" if you do this then you are more like a douchebag. Like the guy they are talking about in the "Mr. Douchebag" video, the first time I saw this I literally dropped on the floor laughing:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw1ncADC9KM[/youtube]

Douchebags are basically wannabe "bad boys" who have some sort of inferiority complex.

Some douchebags are bad boys (according to your description of bad boys); others are not.

Douchebags, just like nice guys and bad boys, also don't fit neatly into one discrete category.

And to cause even more confusion, some bad boys may also be nice guys.

Aspies don't get rejected because they're "nice guys". You get rejected because you're different in some small subtle way (talk too fast or too slow, too loud or too soft, don't make enough eye contact, etc...). It's about the same as being rejected based purely on looks. Most people are programmed to reject people on very superficial terms, but they don't admit it to themselves for PC reasons. If you're different in any way you're subconsciously perceived as repulsive and diseased. That's the cold hard truth. People are shallow s**ts. Depressing, yea, but true. Think back when you were in grade school. Kids let you know it to your face. Adults pretend it isn't there, but it's still there. Trying to be something you aren't isn't going to "improve your game". You'll just make a fool of yourself. A repulsive and diseased "bad boy" isn't any more attractive than a repulsive and diseased "nice guy".

Yeah that is confusing and you are right. I actually can be both a nice guy and a bad boy. I mean I tend to be a gentleman with women but have a tendency to not go with everything they so. I speak my mind usually and this tends to upset a lot of people I talk to. I also have done some douchebag type things as well. I hate to admit that but it's true. Obviously not anything really like the video or anything. lol. I have made an ass of myself in some situations and can sometimes be belligerent. This was especially true when I used to drink heavily. I actually don't drink at all anymore and sometimes I exhibit some of the same belligerence and sometimes arrogance.

Well, it is really hard to fit anyone into one category of man be it nice guy, bad boy, or douchebag.

Everybody gets rejected for one reason or another. It is a natural part of life everyone goes through at some point. Some people reject on superficial not most. Your statement is almost a blanket statement and a generalization. How can you possibly know every human being. You are basically showing the mentality of us vs. them and that aspies are victims.

How many people have you come across in your lifetime maybe a few hundred and the rest you have never known or seen. So you have nothing to base your statement on besides conjecture and the minuscule amount of people you actually know. There are billions of people in the world. So if you know thousands its still minuscule.

There are plenty of people that like "different". I take offense to your use of repulsive and diseased. We are not repulsive or diseased that is only a negative perception based on low self esteem. You just perpetuate the problem by making everyone else the enemy. Basically what I get out of what you said is anyone not like us is superficial and base their interest of someone on something superficial. Plenty of people in my life are not this way including most my friends and my parents.

There are plenty of shallow people but not "most".

And when I was a kid and a kid told me this stuff to my face I sure as hell would tell them what I thought of them. The fact is I dislike superficial people and I love the opportunity to tell them to their face what I think of them. So instead of feeling sorry for myself I rise up and actually assert my self. Maybe I go too far sometimes but I don't really care. Yeah I have learned to not react so quickly and easily but I wish I didn't. Makes me feel less if I let someone walk all over me.

Some people reject others because they are different and it is because they fear what they do not understand. It just shows how weak some humans are. And just plain ignorant. It is the same as how some people are racist. People who are superficial are actually bigots. Hating on an aspie is the same as hating on some ethnic group. Some people thinks it is okay to commit "hate crimes" against aspies and disabled people. Just realize that these as*holes will get what is coming to them.

Also if anyone knows that you think your condition is repulsive then maybe that is why they do not like you. It is hard to like somebody who hates themselves. Wear it like a badge of honor and people will respect you more. It is the idea of walking around with a chip on your shoulder, people will have a hard time liking you. Walk around with pride you attract the right people. It has to do with how you carry yourself.

Bad and good guys don't exist so stop thinking about it. You're doing it entirely to yourself.

Thinking about this subject = wasted effort. If u want to improve your chances with shallow girls, improve shallow s**t but be prepared to live life as an imposter.

Have u ever just thought that finding a girl isn't even the answer to what you're looking for though? Maybe there is no answer and this just the way life is for everyone, empty and unfulfilling when it comes to people.

I know that personally, sleeping with a girl is a sure fire way to make me lose interest in her. The moment I get what I want I lose interest. Its purely a biological imperative.

Living life for love is just a modern lie. Sex is overrated. The only thing left is living for interests and if u could find your way back from this relationship nonsense you'd realise that you were in a better position mentally before you started worrying about what u were missing from life. I'll give u a clue, you're missing nothing.

Personally I'd be happy just sharing a house/bills with someone as cold as me and seeing her around the house occasionally. Not sure how you'd get one of those girls from ok cupid or whatever, it's probably not worth the effort.

Yay! Thank you, OP, for a breath of fresh air.

Nihilism. That is what it is called to feel life has no purpose. I feel that way a lot. But I just will not accept that and just move on. It is easy for people to tell you to stop thinking about good and bad.

I guess you can walk around in life feeling emotionally dead. But that is your choice. Love can work. It has to do with an attitude adjustment. Believing that love doesn't exist is BS. It is a cop out. Love is the most important thing in the world and if you feel no love for anything than that is a life not worth living.

The fact is I believe good and evil both exist to keep the balance of the world. Love is not evil. And evil is not love. They are light and dark. Every human being is both good and evil. Maybe this is just philosophy and every one believes in something. some people believe in the philosophy of hedonism. Life is only about pleasure. There are so many different lifestyles and none of them are wrong and fit each person.

Anyways, I was not the one who was all negative anyways it was the other guy who was all talking about superficial people and how everyone is out to get us. At least that is how I interpreted it.

I never wanted to be with anyone shallow and I sure as hell am not going to sink to their level by being like them. I am not going to sell myself out to be like that. Where is the integrity or honor in trying to be some false empty person. Shallow people follow the false gods of wealth, power, and status. Taking everything they can get their hands on. It is all about them and no one. They lift a hand for no one. Maybe this is more than just someone who is shallow it is someone who is completely and utterly self-centered and self-serving. Basically like a sociopath with feelings only for themselves and zero empathy. It is all about their gain and nothing else.

Its not nihilism, it's just practicality. hope for the best and plan for the worst. Being content with yourself is more important than anything. Living your life but deep down hoping u fall in live and things will become perfect is not realistic. Love may come to my life but if it doesn't Im happy and the many other things in my life are more than enough.

Unrealistic hope is a killer.