Singing comedian Steve Goodie wrote a book called "Achieving Happiness through Lower Standards" & this is clickable. You can sample the book & here's a sample from the chapter about Men & Women
Quote:
Here’s another universal topic. Let's start off with a mantra:
Relationship Mantra #1: “Today I will settle for whoever comes along.” (Say this 1,250 times every morning.) Love is a biggie for a lot of us. Love is confusing and evasive. Love comes when you least expect it, and love leaves with your TV and a sneer. “‘Till death do us part” is frightening because we’re terribly afraid that the really right one will come wandering down the beach on the first day of the honeymoon, and we’ll be hitched to this big loser. The trick is to accept the loser you’re stuck with. Love how inadequate s/he is; embrace his/her disgusting habits; don’t look around, just dig into the sand with your true love and consider getting cable. If you compare what you have with what you don’t have, of course you’re going to be unhappy.
There are only so many leggy supermodels to go around, and there are billions of poor short fat bald slobs who want to own them. And there is a distressingly low number of handsome successful non-violent guys with jobs, and billions of angry venomous women who want to mold them into love-slaves. We can’t all be Billy Joel. We can’t all get dumped by Christie, even though we love her just the way she is. By the way, he wrote that song for his previous wife, not Christie. I bet his first wife wakes up laughing every day now. So - what’s the point? Find someone who doesn’t totally nauseate you and give up the search!
Of course, until this non-nauseating person pops up, it’s important to enjoy your singlehood. Personally, I much prefer “Single Guy” or “Single Woman” to “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette.” For some reason, when someone calls me a bachelor, I feel like I’m about 98 years old, sitting on a park bench in a raincoat feeding pigeons. “Single Guy” sounds more, hey, sah-wingin’! Groovy and exciting, free and easy, hey baby, we’ll be back to pick you up later...
Whatever. Either way, when I’m not with anyone, I find myself wondering how long I’ll be eating Spaghettios out of the can, over the sink. I know it won’t last forever. I know I will meet someone again. And then we’ll eat Spaghettios the proper way: out of bowls, in front of the TV. The only question is “When?” Wait, no, there are other questions. Like, “Will she have ten toes?” and, “Just exactly how psycho will this one be?”
The important thing is to remain positive. Of course I’ll meet someone new. That’s what being single is all about - the potential to meet someone new. That’s why we stay single. If you get married, and someone new comes along, you’re really not supposed to explore that option. I think that’s the point of marriage - reduced options. So be Cool Single Guy/Gal, and be your own groovy self. I happen to know that I am a Babe Magnet! Well, sort of... Lately it seems like I’m the kind of magnet that repels.
No! We must remain positive. There is nothing wrong with being single. That Standard that says people must find a mate in order to be considered successful and worthy... it’s wrong, I tell you! We must focus our energy on being our own wonderful, pithy selves, and all will come to us in time. Lower the Standards, and feel good!
16 Oct 2013, 11:54 pm
