Question for aspergers women

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lost561
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20 Oct 2013, 8:01 pm

When you're in a relationship with a man do you like to feel protected? For example if a guy bumps into you at the club do you want your man to get into his face and start a confrontation? Another example is if you're eating at a restraunt. If there is something wrong with your food do you prefer that the man tell the waiter or waitress that something is messed up with the food? Basically do you prefer the man to do the confrontational chores and work?



Marcia
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20 Oct 2013, 8:20 pm

Well, I don't have a diagnosis of Asperger's but I'll answer anyway.

No. Not according to how you seem to define being "protected" at any rate, which does seem to accord with how you define "femininity".

I am capable of speaking up for myself, and if someone bumps into me I would ignore it, and if seemed to be malicious, then I would get out of their way and if in a club, and their behaviour was causing or likely to cause trouble, then I'd let the staff know so they could deal with it.

If I'm in a restaurant and there's something wrong with my food, then I can deal with that myself and without being confrontational.



coffeebean
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20 Oct 2013, 8:32 pm

No. Why would I want anyone to frighten, harass, or hurt others on my behalf over something meaningless? :?



MjrMajorMajor
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20 Oct 2013, 8:39 pm

Protective, yes. Confrontational, no. They are two very different things.



Marcia
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20 Oct 2013, 8:48 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Protective, yes. Confrontational, no. They are two very different things.


Yes, and I would see both partners in a relationship being protective of each other, but not in the ways described in the OP. More in a mutually caring and supportive way, practically and emotionally.



Geekonychus
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20 Oct 2013, 9:24 pm

lost561 wrote:
Most women are more feminine and your just more on the spectrum geeky nerdy lesbian radical feminist type of woman so you resent that more men find the more feminine women attractive.

lost561 wrote:
Most women are more feminine than what the typical wrongplanet women lesbians are.

Since when did you care what women on the spectrum thought?



yellowtamarin
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20 Oct 2013, 9:59 pm

My response to your examples is "no".



lost561
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21 Oct 2013, 7:40 am

Geekonychus wrote:
Since when did you care what women on the spectrum thought?


I believe this thread was for women with aspergers to answer geeko. can you not read? Thanks.



Schneekugel
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21 Oct 2013, 7:47 am

lost561 wrote:
When you're in a relationship with a man do you like to feel protected? For example if a guy bumps into you at the club do you want your man to get into his face and start a confrontation?
Depends on the situation. Simply ask me about it in the occurring situation. If I instantly act myself, I dont seem to need help. If I dont care for it, I dont care for it, and so on. Doing prophecies about yet not happened situation is not possible. I definitely dont want an gorilla, I need to be ashamed of, that jumps on people out of accidents.
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Another example is if you're eating at a restraunt. If there is something wrong with your food do you prefer that the man tell the waiter or waitress that something is messed up with the food?
I would like to have a man that was able to open his mouth and ask me "Do you want me to talk about the waiter about it?" Neither do I want someone doing that out of his own, nore do I want one doing that if I intended it to do that myself, nor do I want one that jumps on people for stuff, that I have decided myself not to be important enough, to mention it.
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Basically do you prefer the man to do the confrontational chores and work?
Basically, I would like a man that actually communicates with me, about what I like.



lost561
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21 Oct 2013, 7:52 am

^^^ Most NT women don't like being confrontational.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Oct 2013, 7:57 am

^ in fact, these days women are more confrontational in public than men because they can do so with less risk of being smacked in the face by the bully they're confronting.



lost561
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21 Oct 2013, 8:00 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ in fact, these days women are more confrontational in public than men because they can do so with less risk of being smacked in the face by the bully they're confronting.


They expect their man to do the fighting if it comes to that though :p



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Oct 2013, 8:02 am

lost561 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ in fact, these days women are more confrontational in public than men because they can do so with less risk of being smacked in the face by the bully they're confronting.


They expect their man to do the fighting if it comes to that though :p



Basically... yes.

Or they expect any male friends/buddies around to intervene if it comes to that.



Marcia
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21 Oct 2013, 8:03 am

lost561 wrote:
^^^ Most NT women don't like being confrontational.


So far, the women who've posted in this thread don't see any need to be confrontational in the situations you described.

I was out on Friday evening, and I ordered a gin and tonic. When the waitress brought a gin and coke by mistake I was able to say, "Oh, I asked for a gin and tonic." I didn't need the man I was with to say that for me, and I didn't need it to be said by me, or anyone else in a confrontational way. The outcome? The waitress apologised, took the gin and coke away, and brought me the gin and tonic I had asked for. A non-incident, simply the kind of misunderstanding or error that life is full of.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Oct 2013, 8:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
lost561 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ in fact, these days women are more confrontational in public than men because they can do so with less risk of being smacked in the face by the bully they're confronting.


They expect their man to do the fighting if it comes to that though :p



Basically... yes.

Or they expect any male friends/buddies around to intervene if it comes to that.

or even male strangers for that.



JanuaryMan
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21 Oct 2013, 8:20 am

lost561 wrote:
When you're in a relationship with a man do you like to feel protected? For example if a guy bumps into you at the club do you want your man to get into his face and start a confrontation? Another example is if you're eating at a restraunt. If there is something wrong with your food do you prefer that the man tell the waiter or waitress that something is messed up with the food? Basically do you prefer the man to do the confrontational chores and work?
I would have liked to answer things in this post but I don't qualify as one of the people you wish to survey.