I am confused again! I feel I have been manipulated, what ev

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I met a guy on a dating site. I made it clear I was not looking for one night stands, and he replied, he was not looking for them, but if he got the opportunity he would not turn one down.

We were talking for about a week, when he told me he had updated his photo, although he also said he was not checking his emails on the site since he had been speaking to me.

We met, and he kept buying me drinks. I really fancied him, and thought I had made it clear I was looking for dating, so when he told me to get a taxi and go back to my house, I thought it was ok. He told me the last train back to where he lives had already gone. I knew this was not true though.

The day after, he was not responding to my messages. I phoned him, and he said he had been busy. I said could we meet again, and he said he had to check his times tomorrow, and he said he was really tired and had to go. I was obviously upset. But he also said he got lots of responses from the dating site, but did not read them.

Later on that night I watched a film, and then at midnight I got a message from the site, so I logged on to check it, and found he was online. I got really upset as he had told me earlier he could not talk because he was too tired, but he was not too tired to talk to other people. SO I sent him a messaging telling him it had upset me.

The next morning I apologized, and said I should not have put him on the spot, but I would call him at five to chat about meeting. At 4 he texted saying I had been "checking up on him" and he was not interested in continuing. (I had already explained I had got a message from the site and was going to check it, when I had stumbled across him.)

I said I was not lying, or checking up on him.

He said, either way he did not feel he could deal with it.

I said, lets be friends then. He could learn to trust me over time.

No response.

I feel I was tricked into a corner, because I was the one who was lied to, when he said he could not talk to me, and was on the dating site the same night. Then he blamed me for destroying a possible relationship for "checking up" on him. Which I had not done. How could I have won this? I either had to ignore he was lying to me about not using the site, and about going to bed so we couldn't talk, or if I did not ignore what he had done I was some kind of stalker? Was I in the wrong?

Thanks.

You only had one date, and apparently he wasn't into it. One date doesn't come with obligations.

Yeah. The chemistry wasn't there for him. Good riddance to him.

He did lie about a lot of details. It sounds to me like he was after a one-night-stand and was disappointed for not getting further. I don't see you having had the chance to win this one, and frankly, I doubt it would have been worth it in the first place.

Ignore him making it sound like it was something you did, and please try to move on. Unfortunately a lot of people can initially lie or exaggerate their views or assets in order to get closer to someone, especially online.

I can recall a few people online who had said various things about their values and aspirations in life to match mine and in real life, had turned out to present the very opposite after getting to know them slightly better. In all cases the motive was to pique curiosity until they had managed to "get laid" which luckily, never happened with any of them. Even if a person has sincere motives, a lot of people do try to create rapport by trying find (or invent) similarities to another person.

Can I just ask to those who have critisised me for confronting him about telling me he could not talk as he was going to bed, and telling me he no longer checked the dating site, when I found that both these were lies. If you had been in my situation and were arranging a second date when you had been on the phone. Can you really say you would have ignored what he said?

Who would have really ignored being lied to about the train times, then about if he was talking to other people, he added photos to his profile while we were talking, told me he could not talk as he was going to bed, and then, still arranged to meet again? He was clearly playing the field? Am I wrong?

To state the obvious, and I want to make it clear that I am not trying to be critical or mean with you:

He is in no way after one date obligated to be totally open and honest about his activities or what he does. I would have let this slide myself and see if he gets back to me.

I do remember seeing this complaint on POF forums about the green dot from previous contacts as well indicating someone is online. It is apparently on when the phone app is on, but idle as well from what I have heard. Some people on those forums over there think that this green dot was a bad idea.

OP, I feel like you. This happens to me all the time.

Hope you get someone next time that likes your personality and everything that goes with it.

I think you unintentionally dodged a bullet; this guy sounds like a real as*hole.