kind of funny but embarrassing problem

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My girlfriend is helping me with social skills, and she says it's rude to just say "What?" if you don't hear somebody. I've started saying "What did you say, baby?" and trained myself to get in the habit of it, but now when someone ELSE says something I don't understand, I've found myself saying "What did you say, baby?" to my boss, people in stores, etc. :-/

Sorry, but I thiink that's brilliant.

Your sister is right. "What?" is insulting when the person talking to you believes he/she was being perfectly clear. It's usually used when the phrase someone said is confusing, shocking, or both, rather than when you didn't hear something. For example, when someone said "There are crows on the porch", and you think you heard "The wolves ate the church".

In my case, "What did you say, baby?" would be even worse. Your profile says you're from the South; I've traveled there, so I'm aware of their regional customs. I'm from the Midwest, where words like "baby" or "honey" are reserved for people you're romantically involved with. So I usually use "What were you saying?", "Sorry, I didn't hear what you said", or more tersely, "What was that?". When talking to authority figures, like bosses, I say "I heard you say...", followed by repeating back to them what I heard, followed by "Is that what you were saying?".

People who served in the US military have a tendency to use "Say again", a self-explanatory military term, due to a very strict taboo on the word "repeat" and the ambiguity of the word "what" (in the military, "repeat" means to fire at the same target for the second time).

Old school. I am hard of hearing, especially with women. My dad and grandpa just put there fingers behind thier ear and say what? That way they know its not them, its the fact that you are hard of hearing. Soo, what man in the world does not have selective hearing anyways??? Some people are kind of dense anyways. Sometimes they are soo self important, that you can tell them you are hard of hearing, and they still get mad, and feel insulted if you don't hear them. If you cannot hear someone, or you were not listening, maybe they should say your name, or call you sir, in order to get your attention. How rude is it for someone to just expect your going to hear them?????

I have taught my kids to say "pardon me"? Or "excuse me"?

I remember having to tell a foreign exchange student that responding with "what?" sounded rude.
She asked me what she should respond with.

I said, "Yeah?" instead.

I say anything between, "Yeah?" "What's up?" or "What you need?"


EDIT: I completely misunderstood the OP. I guess in terms of not hearing what someone said and having to have them repeat it (which happens a lot, I'm partially deaf and almost completely deaf in one ear) I say, "What did you say?" "I'm sorry I didn't understand you, what was that?"