This girl randomly sat w/me and I just killed her off..WTF?!

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On the bus that I go to, when I miss the first bus, I go to another one 10 mins later across the street (and I am usually just barely in time for that...I usually jaywalk across the road to make it.

Anyways, a week before the past Friday, the day after I got my precious new awesome guitar from my friend(and I brought it with me running across the road lol what a loser I am), I made it to the bus, woohoo! I sat down in an empty seat and all of 30 secs (sex?) later, this random girl asked if she could sit here...taken aback as i was, i still said "oh sure, yeah" she sat, after awhile I worked up the nerve to start talking to her, and lmao she was flippin her hair like mad and I think thats supposed to be a good sign? lol anyways maybe I was being a little invasive but I was trying to keep a conversation going. At my prodding, she said she was from Colorado and moved here in September when senior year started (Denver, which I made lame jokes about) and I legitimately thought that was f*****g cool.She told me she loves K-pop music and I think we talked a little bit about anime (going off K-pop) and how I wanted to learn to play some of the theme songs(remember I'd just gotten my guitar) and I was open enough in my speech I think. I asked her about classes and career goals(writer), and we walked to the doors together with her sister (who is a junior)and we stopped when she stopped and said "Okay, I'm gonna go talk to my friends now" and we were in front of the group I recognized to be the anime kids lol thats what I call em. I didn't see her again till Monday morning when I missed the bus (lol on purpose this time) and I again like an idiot, jaywalked with my damn guitar, and we talked without as much hair flipping from her and not as much "new person" excitement but still fun...

the kicker is when I (would feel like a creeper calling it stalking) after school, I found that bus and I sat with her and her sister and one black dude, and we talked about K-pop (she spent half the time looking at gifs of "V.a.P" or some band, still kinda talking...End of the ride, I asked if she was busy at home and she said she had homework (she had a thoughtful look on her face as if she was actually wondering about it)...and I went full ret*d and said "Cool, I have homework too, can I come over and do it with you?" *FACEPALM*
She said oh i have to take care of my brother's homework, and explained how her parents come home late and stuff... five min later..."So you're really busy?" "Yeah" "Okay then"

Next morning, she doesn't talk to me and greets me with a grimace/smile contortion on her face-still sits with me. Walks away from me after we get off the bus

next time I see her 2 days later in the hall, walks past me with an angry look on her face and her head up....WTF did I do, she wasn't showing any issues before? I hate to have offended someone like that.

Probably nothing wrong. Pretty much if it seems that confusing she is not worth the time.

It was just a bad interaction. Those can happen to anybody. What you did doesn't seem bad to me, it just didn't click, that's all.

But, I totally misunderstood your subject line and read your post thinking that you were going to confess to murder on the forum. Which is not a good idea.

Probably shouldn't have murdered her. That's sure to put a dent in any potential relationship.

Who knows. Perhaps you came on too strong - for her. And the way that you said things just cannot come over in a post - that's probably more important than what you said. I mean, you barely know her, you had a good conversation with her on Friday (and less of a connection on the Monday) - and you're asking to hang out with her, at her place...come on, think about it. See it from her possible point of view - she'd want to know a bit more about you before this happens. Maybe she's never had a young man round before (I don't know your age) - would parents disapprove, etc.

I wouldn't worry so much. You haven't done anything wrong. Just forget about it - perhaps she's not that good for you to be around, anyway.

I was really hoping your title wasn't literal. I don't think I've ever talked to a real murderer before.

I think next time you should just ask for her e-mail address/facebook/phone number.

From what I gathered in your post, you could have put it something like,

(As the bus is nearing it's destination and you both are about to part ways):

"Hey you know a lot of good K-pop songs, listen this isn't normally my bus so if I don't run into you again you mind giving me your number (or e-mail) so you can send me a list of those songs? I'd really appreciate it."


It's on topic, it's you wanting to continue the conversation you had in the bus and you need her help to send you songs of her interest.

Every time I have asked a girl for her contact information via this way it has always worked.

"Hey, I've got to run but you seem to know a lot about European psychological horror. I didn't even know they had any to be honest, I'm more into Japanese horror myself. You think I could get your number so you can send me some of those movie titles and we can continue our discussion?"

(I pause at this point to see if she either 1) Starts nodding her head and smiling and already going for her phone OR 2) Looks scared/surprised/hesitant.

If the latter happens, I quickly add, "Or I can just add you on facebook (I'd say back when I had one) or get your e-mail if you don't feel comfortable giving strangers your number."

Usually with the added part, they will go ahead and give me their number. I've actually never gotten a girls' e-mail address instead. The only times I've ever gotten a facebook instead of a number or e-mail is when the girl brought it up first.



In my experience and opinion, I think asking to go over to her house made her uncomfortable and put up her guards. I think if you had just asked for a number/e-mail/facebook you would've been successful. But hey, it doesn't always work out. Don't let it get to ya.

You came on way too strong and I think you already suspect that is the problem. I'll bold the parts where you realize you came on too strong.

Maybe. Or just maybe she was super-sensitive to you.

Look. You could have taken a slower approach, and it not worked at all - thus wasting days and months of your time on someone who you never really could be with. Or it could be like Janissy says (a great post).

But you'll never entirely know. And we definitely won't! We don't know the mind of someone we've never met when we can't see the situation they were in.

And I have to say this - sometimes situations are out of our control, no matter what we do. On another day, and with the planets in a different allignment ( ! ), and whatever - everything might have worked out. Who knows.

I just hope you're not beating yourself up. I guarantee you, generally men who have 'screwed up' the most have ended up 'succeeding' and learning the most. Hindsight's a great thing. You started up a conversation, and had some connection, just maybe for a briefer period than you believed it to be. She probably admired your bravery. Just keep doing it, slightly moderate things next time and keep moving forward. You won't retreat into some comfortable avoidance shell then.

Well look at it on the bright side:

At least your looks attracted her.

Usually we face the opposite problem what concerns the looks vs character thing.