How to find autistic/aspie women

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jinto1986
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04 Feb 2014, 6:13 pm

Now that I am starting to get over my ex, I want to try dating again, and not wait another 27 years. I think part of the reason things went so well with my ex (at least for a few months) is that we were both inexperienced (at dating) autistics. The problem is finding others, I work with kids so none at my job, the local support groups tend to attract the 40+ crowd (or are for under 25 year olds, and I am 27), etc. So any ideas other than aspieaffection, which seems to lack many locals.



Cafeaulait
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04 Feb 2014, 7:16 pm

i just totally get you



jinto1986
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04 Feb 2014, 8:34 pm

Are you in phoenix lol



AspieOtaku
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05 Feb 2014, 1:08 am

Anime conventions!


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Last edited by AspieOtaku on 05 Feb 2014, 6:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ryleh
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05 Feb 2014, 1:46 am

I think it should be worth nothing that siblings of Autistics are viable as well.
I would personally recommend against anime conventions.



coffeebean
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05 Feb 2014, 2:50 am

More specifically, what was it about your ex that made things work? Understanding life from an outsider's perspective? Tolerance to quirks? Whatever it was, it might be possible to find those traits in others, and either of those are much easier than finding someone with autism around the same age. How to do so without the crapshoot that's online dating, I don't know, but perhaps just knowing what to look for will help.



Onewithwings
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05 Feb 2014, 3:30 am

I am an Aspie woman and almost every one of my real life (not over-the-internet) Aspie/Autie friends are male (only have a few IRL, but a good handful online) I am not really sure where the Aspie women are! Me personally I don't get out much.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Feb 2014, 3:32 am

Don't be stupid, the condition is way rare in women, you might not find her in another 27 years.

Seek for introvert women instead, they are often the closest to aspies.



Vitamin-K
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05 Feb 2014, 3:55 am

The best way to find a lasting relationship is to talk to people. The right person will be the one that you want to spend time with, and she'll want to spend time with you.



Onewithwings
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05 Feb 2014, 5:55 am

IME I have never dated an Aspie guy and it hasn't bothered me to date NT people. I think understanding and acceptance is more important than actually sharing the common traits. Sometimes a NT friend or bf/gf can be a great ally and very understanding, supportive, and patient, if given the chance.


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Wafflemarine
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05 Feb 2014, 9:49 am

I don't think just because someone has AS would automatically understand you. Even AS people can differ by quite a bit.

On the part of social groups and meeting people at work I am in the same boat. I hate the low end groups and everything else is just full of much older people it gets really frustrating.


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Zodai
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05 Feb 2014, 11:25 am

Well, for one, right here.

If you meet an aspie girl who lives somewhat nearby on WP, message her and see if you can get a conversation going. That's how I started, after all.


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jinto1986
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05 Feb 2014, 12:16 pm

To a lot of the posts, part of the problem is I work with kids (no dateable women there), I hate bars (the main way people meet), I don't really trust most websites, and about the main time I go out is to sporting events (where it seems that all the women are already taken), etc. Finding women my own age, and getting to know them well enough to know if they are introverted or whatever, is hard PERIOD. So if I am going to go to a lot of trouble to find someone, I want it to be someone that it has a good chance of it working out with. Though to be fair I didn't even know my last girlfriend was an aspie before asking her out, just sort of suspected (met her in a martial arts class, no other women within 20 years of me other than the instructor and she is about anti-aspie as you can get, and I suspect (as did my gf when I jokingly suggested that the instructor wanted me) not into guys). The problem with the right here theory, is that I am sure girls on here get harassed a lot, (and I mean a lot) so, yea... though I did notice that a girl on this post is just down in Tucson ;).



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05 Feb 2014, 1:01 pm

Zodai wrote:
Well, for one, right here.

If you meet an aspie girl who lives somewhat nearby on WP, message her and see if you can get a conversation going. That's how I started, after all.
My current girlfriend & my ex who are/were Aspies I had met here on WP. I made LOTs of post here complaining about being lonely, talking about why I wanted a relationship & some of my strengths within a relationship & way I am within in. I got really lucky that the rite women read my posts. I don't think randomly messaging Aspie women would work well because some here have a negative opinion of Aspie guys, Aspie women tend to have an easier time getting in relationships than Aspie guys(I'm NOT saying it's easier for them to maintain a relationship) & I think there's a higher ratio of NT women to Aspie women here than NT guys to Aspie guys because of women being in relationships with Aspie guys, mom's of kids with Aspergers, getting in things like special education ect. I'm NOT saying don't message women here but read a few of their post & interact with them alittle on threads 1st


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kate123A
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07 Feb 2014, 6:46 am

I found my bf on here. He is AS and so am I. He lives far far away and I am moving to be with him because we would like to give it a go. I suggest you focus not on geographical closeness(the right person will work to make the relationship work) but on someone who has a lot in common with you.



sly279
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07 Feb 2014, 7:56 am

glad that worked out for you both, i would be heistent to look too far away, i wasted a year on a lady who was like a perfect match and it didn't go anywhere, also there's cat fishing to worry about.