If a gay guy hits on you...

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And I would really appreciate comments from gay guys on here.

The basic question is that if you are not a gay guy but gay guys are hitting on you does that mean you are too effeminate or too masculine or does it even depend on the gay guy who is hitting on you?

Good question and I'd like to know the answer. Most men think I'm gay when I am not even close to being so.

There was only once that I realized that a gay guy was hitting on me. I just didn't know what to do because I don't have anything to offer in this situation. I have no idea how many times I may have been hit on by guys and girls and didn't realize it. My difficulties with reading people in general have kept me out of relationships with women and the normal people read things into this that are incorrect. Generally, I have trouble interpreting and responding to both positive and negative behaviors that other people put up, and this has made it difficult to make friends, too. I could only wish to be amused in ways the other people at the liquor store were when I had nothing to do but observe them earlier today.

Depends on the guy, but if you're getting hit on by multiple gay guys it probably just means you're attractive. It doesn't necessarily mean they think you're gay, some guys like the challenge of trying to "convert" straight guys. It could also be that they aren't sure if you're gay or not but are willing to take the risk to try and hit on you.

Source: I've had a wide variety of gay friends.

Sounds like me, though I'm not sure they even think I am gay. They just hit on me anyway, most commonly when I am shooting hoops or in the bathroom.

This sounds like me too, except I don't drink much liquor anymore because it just doesn't do much for me anymore after my tolerance got too high.

It's happened multiple times, by about a 50% combination of girls and gay guys over the last few years. In most cases it's taken a while for me to realize they were hitting on me. Right now I have a girl and a gay guy who has been hitting on me over the past month.

I think a 50/50 combo is a pretty high percentage of gay guys or am I wrong?

I don't know what makes a guy attractive, but I want to be hesitant to think that is the reason.

i have never been overtly "hit-upon" but the ones i have seen get favorable attention paid to them tended to be at either extreme of being effeminine or hyper-masculine. some are looking to hook-up with twinks, others with macho men/bears. there is some mixing and matching between the two groups.

I get it all the time. People also tend to think I am gay as well for some reason.

Must be from the fact that I have had a few friends who were.

I'm not a gay man, but gay guys hit on my husband and I attribute it to his smashing good looks. He's not effeminate at all - very masculine and very straight. If I were you, I'd take it as a compliment. Clearly you have something attractive going on.

I am extremely surprised. I am obviously female.

I really don't think 50/50 is a high percentage, gay guys are really flirty in my experience.

It's impossible to know what makes someone attractive without knowing them, but if people are hitting on you repeatedly then there is obviously something about you that attracts them. Could be physical looks or it could be the way you present yourself, or both.

+1

My perspective so far as a straight guy, who's been around a lot of gay dudes all his life, and been hit on a ton:
Go ahead and feel complimented, and act as if they're simply trying to be your friend, and be friendly back. Don't get self conscious, don't freak out, they might not even be hitting on you for real, just casual vibing.

If they do get overt, just say something good natured that says, 'hold it,'
Cheesy example, "Whoa there, cowboy, you're crossing onto my pastures, there," with a grin, and eye contact, and a mild head shake. And then continue on like nothing ever happened, cuz gay guys (despite often being dramatic!) are usually pretty cool, and worth hanging around.

...In my experience.

Either way, given the social/political climate regarding homosexuality, gay guys by necessity have to be tuned in to boundaries, and are probably not gonna act recklessly unless they're waaaasstteeddd, so they'll pick up on your cues to stop for the moment... Although, if your demeanor keeps on broadcasting effeminacy, then you might keep getting hit on. But that's your fault. Mind your posture and walking gait.

YIKES! That reminds me of a time when I was at a gay bar, and one of those big-bear kinda guys came up to me out of nowhere, put his arm around me, and YEEK!! ! He was so huge I couldn't help but freak out! But I escaped, so no harm.

Of all the hitting upon me ( ) I have actually detected, I think that about half to two thirds of the cases have been homosexual. I don't think that I'm effeminate or masculine in excess, but I'm probably on the manly side of the middle. However, since I am on average more reserved in public, I doubt that those people have actually considered me effeminate beyond the length of my hair.

Many of the behaviors associated with introversion are commonly interpreted as effeminacy.
So it could be that your reserved behavior in public is what makes you seem effeminate.
Conversely, maybe introversion behavior, on it's own, might be interpreted more directly as possibly gay, effeminacy or masculinity aside? Some gay folks would probably have to clear that one up for me though...

Gay men are as varied in what attracts as straight men are. You may be the hottest thing on two legs (three?) to one man, and of no interest whatsoever to another.

My personal preference tends to the masculine--but not to the hypermasculine. (Very much the "guy next door" type).

So a gay ma hitting on you means nothing more than that particular man finds you attractive.

^^this.

dont get bogged down by stereotypes, theyre useless.

you're probably just attractive or have a great personality that reels people in.