Jealous for the first time.....

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I'm in a generally wonderful relationship with an NT guy we've been seeing each for around 6 months and he's the best boyfriend I've ever had he way too good for me and too cool so I just feel really lucky. The other night he told me on the phone he had a video chat with his ex who lives in another country. He said their nothing but friend but I have become extremely jealous and upset it's keeping me up at night and making me miserable. All I can think is that there's obviously feeling still there if they still speak after all this time and I now believe I'm just a here and now girl because he can't have who he truly wants. All this is strange and frustrating as I've never been a jealous person and this emotion is very new to me. I'm not sure how I should go about solving this. Does any one have any advise for me as I'm really confused.

I'm going to paraphrase the immortal Billy Joel here.

"You've got to tell him about it, tell him everything you feel!"

Don't do it in panic mode. Prepare your feelings and write it down and practice saying it calmly a few times. He'll understand if you are honest and if he doesn't he is the one with a problem.

Thank you that's an ace idea. I've been sat trying to do it now but I think I'm still a little frustrated as it's coming out all wrong lol

I don't think you should say anything. The fact that he told you should be some comfort that he isn't trying to hide anything.

And you shouldn't worry about just being a here and now girl. Its only been six months. Just work on increasing his bond and attachment to you.

If you complain about this he may hide things from you in the future out of fear you will overreact. And that you won't want.

Question though... Do you expect him to stop communicating with her??

^^^ That was best put up there. At least he told you. Plus she is in a different country. She likely to find a person herself. Don't worry about it. Just focus on you two. At the end of the day, you're with him. She's not.

I don't mean make a big deal of it but having feelings and not mentioning them doesn't make a relationship healthy. If he is put off by you its not worthwhile to begin with.

Even if there are still some feelings between them it doesn't necessarily mean that your just his here & now girl. He could still care about her & wants to be friends but accept that things are over between them & wanting & ready to move on with you. Talking to him may be helpful but be careful not to get or come off as to upset because it could be interpreted as being insecure & controlling

Pabbicus I completly agree and last night I took your advice and talk to him and he was his usual amazingly understanding and caring self. He explained the whole situation how he felt listened to how I felt and apologised as he didn't realise I was upset. Things are sunny again 😁

Thanks for some great advice ❤️