giving out your number: safety and etiquette

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So, I have a question. Every now and again, I'll run into a situation where I'll be interested in getting to know a guy better, but feel cautious about giving him my phone number early on for safety reasons. Even if my gut is telling me he seems like a nice enough person, I have been stalked in the past, so I don't like to give out my number until I've gotten the chance to feel someone out a bit.

Is there a nice way to tell someone, let's say someone you've just recently started talking with online perhaps, that you'd like to give him your number, but you just don't want to do it yet? Or, if you asked someone for theirs and he/she said that to you, would you automatically just perceive it as a rejection? Most men would be able to understand where a single woman who lives alone would be coming from with something like that, right?

It wouldn't phase me in the least. The only reason I care about having someone's phone number is if we're meeting somewhere...so that we can contact each other if anything happens (plans change, get lost, work late, etc.). I personally find phone numbers a pretty safe thing to give someone, since they can't be traced back to any personal information like name, address, workplace, etc.

Yep. I generally only give out my number for "if you need to reach me" purposes.

There are other alternatives like Kik, Skype or Bbm or whatever is popular in your area. Those don't require a phone nb.

get a cheap cell phone and him that. If you have any trouble I'd say it will be easy to change numbers or get a new card for it.

I agree with that to a point, it's not a safety issue because there's no connection to real details, it's only a phone number.

But I do think its worth coming up with some other way maybe, not for safety but for convenience. Its a pain in the arse to change your number if things turn sour, giving ur new number to everyone you know and all that.

So maybe some other solution in the interest of not getting any hassle.

When using Craigslist it's quite surprising how many people have their e-mail address set to display their full(first/last) name when replying to messages. Makes it worse than giving out their phone number in a way. You often still see their name even when the e-mail is sent through an alternate craigslist address.

Before using Craigslist at all I made sure to change my email account settings, so that it would only show the short version of my first name(nickname) next to the subject line. It's amazing how many don't do that even though people supposedly want to remain semi-anonymous on the internet most of the time.

Yeah, back when my landline was my primary number, which was up until just a few months ago, I used to keep a Tracfone around, just for the sake of giving it out to people until I got to know them better. Neurotic maybe, but it worked really well.

I think Craigslist recently implemented a system that encrypts your email address if you ask it to. On the other hand, I don't think I'd use Craigslist for much of anything at this point. I know a guy who agreed to sell a guy a PS4 in broad daylight, with a witness, in the middle of a busy parking lot. The dude gave him counterfeit bills and pulled a gun on them when they pointed it out. Luckily they lived to tell about it, but I've seen things like that go way worse.

There are apps where you can use a number other than your own. I've used that when meeting people online was questionable--I didn't want to give them my real number, but was willing to chat.

-Textfree (the one I used)
-Pinger

I'm sure there are numerous apps.

Phone numbers (including cell phone numbers) are not as anonymous as you might think. There are services available online that one can use to obtain a name and address from phone number. For this reason, it might be a good idea to use a fake phone number at first.

never knew that.

How do you use a fake phone number? Presumably, you still want to have contact with the person you're trying to organise a date with, right?

It's too easy the solution, me and kinme have already said it.

There's no better one.

There are services like Google Voice which allow you to have a virtual phone number. When they call the number, it forwards to your phone, and you can configure your phone to dial out via that number or it's built in number. You can do it in such a way they never see your real number. You can even text (but not send pictures).

I think if I met a girl, and she wouldn't give me her number it would be a pretty clear sign she wanted nothing to do with me, unless she gave me some other way to contact her that didn't seem like a scam.

Fake phone numbers like the old reject hotline don't work as much anymore. If a girl gives me her number, I call it to give her mine.

Thanks, this was helpful. I think I'll look into some of your suggestions. Google Voice is free, I'm hoping?

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.