Why would a person go to such lengths to degrade me?

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Hey, new member here. I have a PDD-NOS just to give a little background of myself.

I'm in college currently. I recently moved into a co-ed building no big deal. I see this chick across the hall from me and start talking to her trying to make conversation. I get feelings that she likes me from her body language and how she was talking.

I found out I've creeped her out by having my door open. I did this for a lot of reasons, one is my hall gives out rewards for having your door open to win big prizes at the end of the year, another is that I've made quite a few friends in my hallway and it's an easy way to let them know I'm not busy and they can come hang out.

I asked her out on a date after a couple times talking to her as I thought she had some attraction for me, it's been a couple of weeks and she hasn't responded, and I haven't talked to her since and have moved on.

I recently found out she has a big following on social media. From what a friend told me who follows her, she's been talking a lot of crap about me. It confuses me as I've always been nice to her and don't get what the deal is. She was talking crap before I asked her out, I'm very upset but don't want to confront her about it and I just want to move on. She posted a vine and even blocked me from seeing it as it was about me.

My question is why would a person go to such lengths to talk bad about me? What would you guys do in this situation? Thanks in advance for serious replies. I got the idea from the creepy thread as that is how I feel this started.

other people are "other people", and they think what they think.

It's because she's an ice-queen.

Ice-queen: (often young) female with model-ish features and ASPD/NPD characters.

I would confront her and say, "I've been told you've been writing alot of stuff about me on social meadi. Is that true? The reason is if I've done anything to offend you I would like to patch things up so we can move on especially since we live across the hall from each other." or something similar. It makes you the bigger person if you make an effort to resolve what ever has gone wrong. It could be a misunderstanding got out of hand. Or she could have really low self esteem and want to put someone else down to make herself feel good. If so then it's probably best to avoid her.

She probably won't expect you to confront her and actually talking to her about it is the only way you can find out what's going on with her.

My experience:

Though it is beyond my own thinking, I have seen people do this kind of thing before. I have even been on the receiving end of a smear campaign ( I know because the offender later admitted to me that he once spread lies about me ).

My take-away learning from my personal experiences (i.e. injuries):

1. Let it go and walk away. Few NT's can win against this sort of sociopathy, and I, with Asperger's, have an even lower chance of winning. The other person will simply enjoy the drama he/she has created. And being socially well-connected, no matter what I say and do he/she will spin it to their audience to their advantage. Sh*t happens.

2. Learn how to spot sociopaths. After getting burned more than once emotionally, socially, and financially, I got some books on sociopathy, studied them, and now seek to apply that knowledge going forward to reduce the likelihood of recurrence

There is an old Russian saying: "Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me."

Unless this anti-social person has done something they don't want to get out (in order to protect their image), then you may never have a leg to stand on. I have an instance of one person having done something they don't want anyone knowing (especially since it affects the person they are dating). To say these people don't care would be questionable as well. But if the image they want to present could be damaged, they will likely be very careful about spreading bad word about the person that has any leverage on them. That is my experience in dealing with such people.

I'd ignore her completely. No eye contact, no anything. And if she or her friends send you harassing messages, I'd suggest taking a screenshot of them and not replying. Assuming everyone in this situation are legally adults (since you mentioned a dorm), an adult harassing another adult ain't legal.

Best case scenario, she and her syncophants get bored and leave you alone. Worst case scenario, they get into legal trouble and they leave you alone. You win either way.

I'd be wary of those types making up fake sexual assault claims with you involved in to get you in jail.



Does she look like this? ^^

Does your college have an anti-bullying policy? Because that's what this sounds like.

People have done this to me...

I experienced it all the way through school and in my adult years in real life and the internet. People spreading rumours about me that are not true, starting entire threads with the intent to flame me and so on. It has also happened to others. One lady had a blog started about here where they posted a lot of libelous material (accusations such as child abuse that was not true) and even posted her personal details nearly getting her fired from her job.

I know the person involved as I stood up for her several times before the bullies turned on me too. A similar thing happened with a lady I still have on my facebook. They were slaughtering her online and no one was doing anything so I went in and defended her. People were just laughing even though she was clearly upset. It was horrible. We are not real life friends as we have never met but we have exchanged gifts a few times. Again the bullies turned on me when I stepped in to help her.

They have posted all sorts about me such as accusations of my being schizophrenic, a liar, a fake and so on. At one point they stalked me around the web copying and saving any posts I had made only to twist and regurgitate them out of context later on.

People can be really vicious.

I have been completely ostracised on some social networking sites because of rumours people have spread about me.

I don't know what you should do, I responded badly and made things worse. First I tried to reason with them, that failed. Then i tried explaining and justifying and refuting their claims...that failed, I tried ignoring them..that failed, I asked them to please stop and that failed. I recorded a video ranting at them and telling them to back the f**k off (not my usual style but I didn't know how to cope with it and was trying all sorts at this point) that failed and then i posted a video crying because I read that seeing someone upset makes people more sympathetic and of course that just made things worse again and gave them material to mock me over.

I just left those sites in the end.

I only visit this site (and rarely facebook) now. Either that or I won't log onto the internet at all some days.

she is threatened by you. she is seeking emotional support from others because of these feelings. she does not see you as a person because you do not follow social norms that she considers important. she is self-centered, entitled, and cares nothing about your feelings because she thinks she's better than you. she does not have the maturity or communication skills to be honest and direct. please do not take this personally because it can only be contributed to her lack of maturity due to age. it is not your fault even though it has had a negative affect on you. i agree that not interacting with her would be the best thing because she is irrational and not inclined to be magnanimous about the situation due to her immaturity. she will get more defensive and probably escalate any character assassination she is doing. that's my read on the situation based on my numerous interactions with females of that age and my own experiences living in a college dorm.

Honestly, just back off and let it go. You confront her and she will only talk about you more. If you don't interact with her at all than she has nothing to talk about.

Because there are cruel people in this world... I should know, because I've been talked about badly behind my back plenty.

You probably did something to offend her, or she's just doing the "natural" thing by making fun of those who don't quite fit into social norms... Just like what happened to me.

do you have a campus counsellor? maybe they should be made aware of what is going on.
i would be tempted to ask her how you have offended her and then when she squirms (e.g. there is no real reason) you tell her to get a sense of proportion and back off!
whatever, since she couldn't come to you with whatever her gripe may have once been, her behaviour is well out of line. do you know anyone who can interviene online? i have called bullies out on various occassions (calmly and with the view of a win win solution) and would always do it again. it doesn't make you popular. but people will respect you.